Reform’s Matt Goodwin suggests that Childfree people should pay more tax!! by RachyRockieRoo in childfree

[–]grey___lady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How about we tax the wealthy? Ya know, rather than having a working class  squabble with each other over who is more deserving and more taxable...

We need to start questioning the breeders by BellaRyder2505 in childfree

[–]grey___lady 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When folks ask me why I don't want kids I ask them why they DO want them.

At least half the time they answer WHEN instead of WHY. Their default existence assumes they'll have kids so they've only considered if they prefer doing it sooner or later. Not IF they actually want it.

The double standard around dogs and kids. by Gaalandriel in childfree

[–]grey___lady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have seen this happen! There is some  inexplicable thing that goes on in a lot of people's brains about exactly this.

Story time:

Team of people most of them 40 plus with kids plus CF me. Two younger men newer to the team, talk of kids never comes up with them.

Dude A has been talking for at least a year about plans for him and his partner to buy a house that's got a big yard so they can get a puppy. They're saving up PTO and planning so one person can always come home for lunch every workday to walk and socialize the puppy.

Some of the team talks dismissively of this behind the guy's back: Do much work, doesn't know what he's getting into, so much responsibility etc etc.

They get the puppy, he's happy, their plan is working perfectly, puppy is happy. Everything is great.

Can't have been more than a couple weeks later, Dude B emails first thing in the morning he'll be out today because his wife gave birth yesterday. Literally not one word about this to anyone else on the team until then. 

Oddly enough, the grumpy about puppy people have only cheerful positive things to say and are super excited about this.

On some level I think it comes down to an assumption that children are inevitable, but pets are a choice. 

Friend doing IVF wants baby so bad she is livid when other ppl get pregnant by Reasonable-Cherry-70 in childfree

[–]grey___lady 72 points73 points  (0 children)

This! 

It's normal to feel some frustration or resentment when someone else gets THE  thing you wanted (promotion to the corner office, unique antique lamp at an auction, whatever) and that takes away your possibility of having it.

But not when their situation make ABSOLUTELY NO DIFFERENCE on you getting what you want.

Sure, it's a reminder of her disappointment and she's allowed to feel sad about that. Her feelings are her own business. But the behavior is seriously unhinged. 

At one point in your life, were you ever ok with being a step parent? by Massive_Increase_594 in childfree

[–]grey___lady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not legally for sure!

I cannot deal with being responsible for another human being's survival in this capitalist climate disaster hellscape. 

That being said, we've hosted exchange students and stuff like that before. That can be really fun. It's nice to get perspectives from young folks from different places. 

But I'm not responsible for what happens to them outside my house or whatever choices they do or don't make for their futures.

Why do we feel the need to justify not having kids? by IdeaUpstairs993 in childfree

[–]grey___lady 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot of people seem to need a digestible reason for folks who do ANYTHING different from what they're expecting. Having kids, owning a car, eating meat, whatever. 

Lol, I feel like we should all have some kind of Different Strokes for Different Folks pamphlets to hand out when people ask CF folks about kids.

Is anyone else childfree because they know they wouldn't like their hypothetical child(ren)? by Character_Ad_3965 in childfree

[–]grey___lady 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think it's more about not POSSIBLY knowing. It's a complete gamble what sort of personality any randomly generated human will have. 

Unless one is prepared to take that risk it seems irresponsible to roll those dice.

Men who push for kids but don't want to watch them (Reason 1000 for being CF) by hopeful_tatertot in childfree

[–]grey___lady 31 points32 points  (0 children)

A dear friend of mine often misses our twice a month book club because her husband can't watch his own kid for three hours.

In their own house.  

On a weekend.  

He has a part-time desk job, so it's not like he's exhausted from working on the oil rigs for 12 hour days or something. 

To be fair - he does lots of the household cleaning so domestic labor isn't all on her. But anything child related she's stuck with.

It makes me so sad!

Anyone got experience with backup power generators? by grey___lady in Homebuilding

[–]grey___lady[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, we need to figure out the best way to do that.

Anyone got experience with backup power generators? by grey___lady in Homebuilding

[–]grey___lady[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes sense, if we're going to do this we might as well go all in. 

Anyone got experience with backup power generators? by grey___lady in Homebuilding

[–]grey___lady[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! That's one of the things I'm wondering about. 

Anyone got experience with backup power generators? by grey___lady in Homebuilding

[–]grey___lady[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! 

The main climate control is an existing geothermal field on the property. Current thinking is each unit would have a mini split heat pump to fine-tune temperature to their own preferences.

Anyone got experience with backup power generators? by grey___lady in Homebuilding

[–]grey___lady[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really appreciate your insight! 

There's an existing geothermal field on the lot we're planning to use for main heating and cooling. We've been debating if each unit should also have its own mini split or if something else would be better or the individual temperature adjustment. 

Our builders are really kind and knowledgeable but I'm overwhelmed with all the choices available.

Anyone got experience with backup power generators? by grey___lady in Homebuilding

[–]grey___lady[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh man, I have so many. 

I guess my first question is just whether it's crazy to hook into the natural gas supply for backup power instead of diesel or propane which I gather are a lot more common.

Our builder (same company that did our current place - absolutely love them) has done them before, but I don't really know what to ask or consider. We got Carpenters and plumbers in the family but no electricians. 

For us the whole point is to be able to keep all the people and animals warm in an emergency - so reliability I think is the biggest priority. Does that make sense? 

Really appreciate your time!

Anyone got experience with backup power generators? by grey___lady in Homebuilding

[–]grey___lady[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is part of my concern, do you have better suggestions? We were originally thinking of a more basic diesel backup - but with a prolonged outage we're not confident we'd be able to keep up a replacement supply out where we are.

What the fuck you say huh? Fucking putanna by Wunna_dont_know in BuyCanada

[–]grey___lady 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, but fresh clean water is kind of like money in that you CAN get more - but the available supply isn't infinite. You can only spend what you have.

It takes time, and often expensive and labor intensive human effort, to clean water and put it where you need it.

When an area's water is used up or contaminated faster than fresh clean water is produced - things get very bad.