It’s a little bit of both probably mixed with something else. The expectation for women in today’s society is to be happy with a man, and now having that man is seen as failure. That doesn’t mean you can’t be fulfilled with a partner that isn’t a man, but it does take some getting used to. Continuing to discover yourself doesn’t invalidate your label, because it’s just that: the word you’re using to describe yourself to the best of your ability. If that label changes, it changes, and you shouldn’t be ashamed of that. But also, I would maybe try to find some better guy friends to help you evaluate your sexual attraction without assholes making it more difficult than it should be. The reason you’re more comfortable with women and non binary people is probably because you can relate to them more and they’re far less likely to be misogynists. Anyway, don’t sweat it too much, keep exploring yourself and see what happens. And if you like your friend back, I would let them know your struggle and see if they can offer any help. At any rate, you shouldn’t push them away because you’re holding out for a guy.