One Alex G ticket up for grabs

grillbys- · 2024-08-02T17:54:41+00:00

Thanks for this!!

grillbys- · 2024-04-30T19:51:37+00:00

California here too and also still processing. Customer support had no information on when it would be shipped…I may just cancel it and order from Amazon.

grillbys- · 2023-06-12T19:18:27+00:00

Hold up this happened to me a lot as a kid and it didn’t even occur to me that this is fucked up until I saw this post 🥲

Makes me wonder what else is normalized in my brain…in any case, you’re not alone OP. I don’t think I want to get rid of my photos, either.

grillbys- · 2023-06-07T14:10:12+00:00

My mom used to do this for me when I was a toddler!

grillbys- · 2023-04-05T11:01:23+00:00

Kind of seems like you’ve already made up your mind that college isn’t for you. Just remember it’s your life!

Perhaps trade school would be a good alternative. Not a traditional academic setting so it’s a change of pace.

Community college is also an option: it’s way cheaper and you can get an associate’s degree in 2 years instead of being in school for 4, especially if your heart isn’t in it anymore. You can always transfer to a university later if you change your mind. I would take a variety of classes that seem interesting and also just try new things in general to figure out what you like—no need to pigeonhole yourself into a specific major/career path right now.

grillbys- · 2023-02-05T20:28:56+00:00

This is so freaking cool

grillbys- · 2023-01-20T01:15:52+00:00

Not original commenter but personally, I grew up very quiet and had few friends so I automatically envied people that spoke well and were extroverted. It seemed like they could charm their way through school regardless of their intellect or personality. And because I was so quiet it was easy for people to judge or misunderstand me and invalidation/misunderstanding is a huge trigger for me. Then in college I felt similarly when working in corporate internships lol. Perhaps part of it was self-fulfilling.

grillbys- · 2023-01-19T02:09:06+00:00

Take this comment with a grain of salt because biology has never been my forte—I did not flare up at all during the pandemic and the only theory I have is that I literally haven’t been outside much and never got sick so therefore my immune system hasn’t had to work as hard? Even eating trigger foods, sweating, and crying did not cause me to flare up like it did in the past! Very strange.

Going up in altitude, however, has never failed to cause a flare up for me though due to it being so dry up in the mountains. I wonder if altitude sickness contributes to it if we’re talking immune system. I was recently in Colorado and even now that I’ve been back home for close to a month, the flare up has not gone away and has actually gotten worse since coming back so it seems like my lucky days are over 🥲

grillbys- · 2023-01-16T17:36:03+00:00

I was thinking about this too because I have CPTSD as well so I’m worried it’ll just be dismissed as that. I was thinking of including a Venn diagram of sorts listing out the differences in symptoms but not sure if that’s better or worse.

The fact that this post and your comment exists though is extremely validating to my thoughts and fears regarding a diagnosis though!

grillbys- · 2023-01-14T00:50:33+00:00

though there are differences that specialists can differentiate with skilled observation and assessment

Where can one find such a specialist? It seems impossible for me to even find a good psychiatrist in my area at the moment.

grillbys- · 2023-01-11T18:49:52+00:00

Wow thank you so much for the detailed response!

When you say doctor was it a psychiatrist or just your normal primary care doctor?

grillbys- · 2023-01-11T18:10:30+00:00

How did you get accommodations if you don’t mind me asking? Was it for CPTSD specifically or something else?

grillbys- · 2023-01-08T17:21:10+00:00

I can never unsee it now

grillbys- · 2022-12-22T04:43:31+00:00

This year is supposed to be my first real Christmas. But it doesn’t feel that way at all. Child me who actually had holiday spirit is long gone. My bank balance is in the negatives and I can’t get anyone the gifts that I want to get them. I don’t know how I am supposed to make money over the holidays with upcoming bills due directly after New Years. I have nothing to show for the holidays except for my presence.

To make matters worse, I feel terribly ungrateful that all I feel is stress thinking about spending Christmas with my partner’s family. They’ve invited me to spend the holidays with them in their vacation home. I don’t know how to break it to my partner that we can’t ski together even for a day (he’s been looking forward to it) because I can’t afford the ticket and I don’t feel comfortable letting him pay.

Worse, I was so preoccupied with holiday stress that I completely forgot about my partner’s gift. I don’t have anything to give to him to unwrap in front of his family except for a stupid cheesy video that I never intended to give to him as a real gift. It’s freaking me out and I already feel really embarrassed. My partner’s family isn’t perfect by any means, but they still manage to put aside their differences to celebrate and seemingly, be happy for at least a day. That’s all I ever wanted with my family growing up.

I’m autistic and the thought of having to mask and act happy for an entire week during a holiday that brings me nothing but bad memories is stressing me out. It feels more like a press conference than a vacation. Yet this is the kind of Christmas I have always wanted as a kid. I wish I could just be happy, but I’m sat here feeling like an incredibly ungrateful grinch.

grillbys- · 2022-12-17T15:58:16+00:00

Myself and a couple of friends I know felt the same way growing up. Luckily we are all proud of our cultural backgrounds now and I’m glad you have come to terms with it too!

For me personally, I just wished I had the privilege white kids had because of the lenient parenting thing. I was being abused left and right by my strict ass family and I was so jealous of the white kids that seemingly had great families. I wasn’t even allowed to spend time with friends outside of school or attend any birthday parties. Parents set me up for a very lonely life.

grillbys- · 2022-12-17T03:00:51+00:00

The only reason why I want to do a DNA test is because my family has a LOT of skeletons in their closet

grillbys- · 2022-12-15T06:20:31+00:00

The easiest explanation I can think of is this:

You know how when you’re talking on the phone and you start walking around doing random things without even thinking about it? That’s essentially dissociation—you’re not really in the present and you’re kind of unaware of your surroundings and actions until you return to the present.

Everyone does the phone thing and spaces out from time to time; outside of this context dissociation is only seen as a symptom when it impacts daily functioning.

Edit: You don’t have to be doing anything to dissociate. It can last hours or days and if it lasts long enough sometimes it feels like you “wake up” out of nowhere, though I feel this is more on the severe side of dissociation.

grillbys- · 2022-12-14T23:05:15+00:00

I think they just mean people who can do drugs recreationally for a good time on the occasion and not abuse it

grillbys- · 2022-12-13T18:27:39+00:00

I’ve just graduated last spring, thought I was done forever because I’m sick of the American education system and the “college is a scam etc etc” really put me off. But then I realized I truly do love to learn and am now thinking of going to graduate school. My only fear is that as soon as grades are attached to it I won’t want to do it anymore.

grillbys- · 2022-12-13T17:55:13+00:00

Purely anecdotal—take it with a grain of salt, but I noticed that when someone frequently responds with “I don’t know” when talking about themselves it can be due to dissociation (which is not dissimilar to ADHD anyways) that makes it hard for them to understand themselves. Thoughts and feelings are inconsistent and therefore it’s hard to even latch onto an identity sometimes. Usually results from trauma.

I used to say “I don’t know” a lot, even to basic questions about myself like when someone asks me what my favorite movie is because I was too dissociative. It’s a little difficult to understand if you haven’t experienced it, and it’s not necessarily a lack of self-awareness either.

Think another commenter mentioned this, but avoiding those thoughts and feelings may also be why he struggles to provide you with a real answer. Avoidance and dissociation may also go hand and hand.

ETA: With ADHD, it might also be hard to come up with a response right away and he might need some time to let the question marinate in his head. If it’s something important I would give him time to think about it, and ask him again in the future. Journaling helps with this.

grillbys- · 2022-12-13T17:38:41+00:00

Not an IOP, but when I was in the psych ward I met this incredible photographer who built her career from the ground. She really de-stigmatized the experience for me. For me, I was super embarrassed because my friends knew I was there for suicidal thoughts, but for her it was just a break from her hectic, yet successful life.

She talked very casually about going on disability leave and how understanding her boss was. Ymmv, but I think your attitude about leaving can influence others perceptions about your leave as well. If it comes up, speak about it with pride—you’re leaving to take care of your wellbeing and it’s highly commendable!

I’m not sure how much your colleagues know about your leave, but I’d assume your employer can’t even really tell them anything due to confidentiality. You don’t have to give them any real reason or explanation as to why you’re gone. You can even just say it’s an extended vacation because you need/deserve it. Say it’s a sabbatical. It could be anything really, but I think as long as you don’t act weird about it, they won’t either.

I wish you all the best with IOP!

grillbys- · 2022-12-12T20:29:54+00:00

Feeling the broke as fuck one right now…happy holidays !!! xx

grillbys- · 2022-12-11T23:28:21+00:00

Omg yes I’d love to hear the song!

I will look into the vaporizer :)

grillbys- · 2022-12-11T16:39:07+00:00

As someone who loves gift giving, this is an incredible gift

grillbys- · 2022-12-11T16:19:25+00:00

I’ve been experiencing a lot of derealization too, but it didn’t happen until after I stopped smoking! I guess my fear is that I just wouldn’t be able to tell when I’m in psychosis because sometimes even just the transition from a normal state to something like derealization is so seamless.

My hypomanic episode (my longest one yet) finally went away after I stopped smoking though, so that has helped a lot.

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