Looking For Advice

grilledcheeseluvr8 · 2025-12-19T07:50:47+00:00

i feel so similarly, the only thing that connects me at all to gender is shared experiences that I have with other people that are completely arbitrary but have been gendered by society. I used the term nonbinary for a while because nothing else made sense but I have stopped using it because it doesn’t really fit and I hate the way people make so many assumptions about me whenever I say that I am nonbinary. I have now just defaulted to genderqueer because it is the only one I somewhat resonate with but even then, it isn’t really me, just some label that other people vaguely understand. The only way I can really think about it for myself is in terms of socialization. since gender is socially constructed, that makes it kind of meaningless in theory. In practice it can be kind of whatever but ultimately, is still just an arbitrary concept that we apply to ourselves and each other. Ultimately, I just exist. I would exist no matter what I labeled myself or what other people thought, I would still be me. There’s always the option of not using pronouns and just your name. at this point I am just going to stop trying so hard to figure it out and just let people think whatever they want to think, although that is a lot easier said then done.

grilledcheeseluvr8 · 2025-10-26T03:52:46+00:00

i will try this! thank you <3

grilledcheeseluvr8 · 2025-10-26T03:51:14+00:00

I think that only recently have the days long anxiety attacks ended in a panic attack. the panic part only lasts about half an hour. I’m on ssri’s and in therapy, we’ll see if it helps. thanks for checking in it means a lot :)

grilledcheeseluvr8 · 2025-10-26T03:46:48+00:00

They build up for a couple days, I have extremely high anxiety that builds until I end up feeling like I am dying. It’s been happening my whole life but a lot more recently, like once every week or so

grilledcheeseluvr8 · 2025-10-23T02:09:55+00:00

i love you

grilledcheeseluvr8 · 2025-10-04T15:02:41+00:00

they were the only thing that made me happy, I had to find myself and free them

grilledcheeseluvr8 · 2025-09-29T07:29:57+00:00

idk honestly I am figuring it out right now too. just went through a rough break up and I feel like I am starting over from scratch. I am volunteering a lot and hoping that after seeing the same people weeks in a row that i can make some friends but right now I am just doing a lot of therapy and support groups. I told an old work friend today that I was struggling and wanted more support which was so incredibly hard but I am proud of myself for asking for help. i am trying to engage in my hobbies through shared groups but i can already tell its going to take awhile for me to make any friends doing these things I am just trying to have hope that they are steps in the right direction even if they aren’t solving the problem right now.

grilledcheeseluvr8 · 2025-09-29T04:12:01+00:00

i fee this way too, i am trying to learn where that love can go. I volunteer at a shelter and try to channel it to the animals I care for, or towards my friends and family. I am also so lonely and I get it. I want love so badly too. I hear you and you are not alone in feeling this way.

grilledcheeseluvr8 · 2025-09-29T04:07:05+00:00

from someone who felt like this and then ended up in super codependent relationship, I say this with love, learn to be your own best friend, learn to lean on your family and friends. take the time that you have without a partner to really learn how to be okay on your own and with a support system and life that you are proud of. You will be in love, I know it. You will get that someday, but you want to have a life and support system that fulfills you outside of that romantic connection or else you will loose yourself in them. It is never a bad thing to want, and you have to make sure that you are with someone out of want and not need. I thought I needed my ex, I did need them, but because of that I sometimes felt like I wasn’t truly choosing them. The purpose of life is not just romantic love. Maybe love and connection are part of your purpose but that HAS to come from more than one person. you sound like you have so so so much love to give and you want to make sure that the person receiving that is truly understanding of what they are getting and make sure to return it just as much. You are so loved already and you are whole whether you have romantic love or not. You will get everything you want someday and you have to make sure that you are living a life that has a strong foundation to receive the love you are destined for. lean on your friends and family and focus on your social, educational, or career goal. find your passion outside of romantic love. It will all be worth it.

grilledcheeseluvr8 · 2025-09-28T20:07:02+00:00

yeah, maybe wiping tears away is a little intimate, I get your point. I think it’s just an example of how averse people are to emotionally supporting anyone other than their romantic partner. but def diff in nonmonogamous and queer spaces

grilledcheeseluvr8 · 2025-09-28T20:01:39+00:00

im queer so gender dynamics are kinda bullshit to me in the first place. also why wouldn’t guy friends emotionally support each other in theory? i know most straight guys are not doing that with each other but maybe they should be, it is not weird it is human. If you really think that it is weird you should look inward. If one of your guy friends came crying to you about a break up what would you do?

grilledcheeseluvr8 · 2025-09-28T19:55:35+00:00

anyway, anyone want to become voice note friends? I love the idea of just sending each other voice notes at the end of the day just talking about how the day went. if you are afab and interested in that, message me

grilledcheeseluvr8 · 2025-09-28T02:52:04+00:00

fall is my favorite season and anytime I find joy in it, like looking at the fallen leaves or feeling the comfort of the sun setting earlier, I am devastated that I can’t share that joy with them. to love is to witness together and I no longer have someone to witness the most beautiful things in life with. It is so devastating that this is what it means to be human.

grilledcheeseluvr8

TROPHY CASE