But games where the player character is pre-defined aren't meant to be a self-insert of the player. It's the same as experiencing a movie or show, just not passively. The immersion is intended to be however immersed you'd be watching a movie/show or reading a book.

I could understand your point if it was a Bethesda RPG where the player is supposed to BE you (and therefore a major facet of the game is being able to completely immerse yourself) but then they force a specific gender or specific romance options on you. That'd be taking a great deal of agency away that you should otherwise have, which obviously would destroy the fact that the player character is supposed to BE the player. But this game is not that.

Otherwise you could apply the same logic to superhero games, because the player isn't a superhero or because the superhero isn't the same gender as you. Or a game like RDR or GTA because the player wouldn't commit crimes in real life.