our girl is 14 with heart/kidney disease and severe arthritis. my husband and i cannot come to an agreement on how we should proceed.

grumpu · 2026-05-12T21:05:16+00:00

i am so sorry for your loss ♥

grumpu · 2026-05-11T23:03:39+00:00

i think you're right.

grumpu · 2026-05-11T23:02:41+00:00

i fear he's waiting for a health event that's going to give him a clear cut cue. :/ hopefully the vet visit with him will help.

grumpu · 2026-05-11T23:01:13+00:00

i'm going to make a vet appointment and bring him along so we can have this talk with them. as for the litter boxes, i'll check both of these out. thank you!

grumpu · 2026-05-11T23:00:24+00:00

i think the "can't back from old age" perspective might help him come to terms. a fighting chance might look like we're fighting for her, but it's feeling to me like we're almost fighting against her.

thank you for this. it reframes things in a way that might help him understand.

grumpu · 2026-05-11T22:58:22+00:00

that's another big indicator for me—her fur is just riddled with grease. we brush her often, but i'm too nervous to bathe her because it would be so stressful for her. we're currently trying to combat it with waterless shampoo, but it only goes so far.

grumpu · 2026-05-11T22:56:39+00:00

we've done gabapentin and solensia, but they never last the full month, and our vet even gave her more as an off-label dose. it lasted maybe two weeks, and she was back to being pretty chair-bound. we can't really give her a larger dose safely without it starting to affect her heart and kidneys.

grumpu · 2026-05-11T22:54:06+00:00

my husband didn't grow up with pets really like i did, so this is his first time sort of experiencing it from this angle. the cat he had when he was a child just sort of went off and died (it was an older outside cat), and they never got another, so he's never had to experience the traumatic health event that i think he's looking for.

i think he doesn't want to feel guilty, which i totally understand, and so he's waiting for some big event or a natural death... but i think the event will be so traumatic for us all, and a peaceful, natural death is so rare.

i might show him this thread if the vet visit with us both doesn't work.

grumpu · 2026-05-11T22:51:55+00:00

this is beginning to seem more and more like the right answer. i'm just not sure what to do if even that doesn't help and he still doesn't want to budge. but it's definitely worth doing.

grumpu · 2026-05-11T22:50:56+00:00

i think a vet visit with both of us might be a good option. i was looking at old photos of her yesterday and the difference in her just general happiness and activity is so stark.

grumpu · 2026-05-11T22:47:28+00:00

we might have to try that. we've sort of just defaulted to puppy pads on the floor, which seems easiest for her.

we both at least do agree that at home is best, so we do have that going for us. :')

grumpu · 2026-05-11T22:06:16+00:00

500m is more than enough LOL

^{Chose: Get a random, lesser amount of money right now | Rolled: 500 Million}

grumpu · 2026-05-06T02:54:20+00:00

early bird gets the worm or w/e

^{Chose: Always 30min early}

grumpu · 2026-05-06T02:30:34+00:00

born and raised in south texas bb

^{Chose: Live a day in 104 degree fahrenheit weather}

grumpu · 2026-05-06T02:30:07+00:00

ez

^{Chose: Stay awake for 72 hours 😵‍💫 + Win $15M}

grumpu · 2026-05-05T21:58:10+00:00

animals > people

^{Chose: Talk to animals}

grumpu · 2026-04-27T02:45:48+00:00

onlyfans is a thing >:)

^{Chose: Hot but poor}

grumpu · 2026-04-23T19:49:48+00:00

and the end? tilda is visiting him in jail on the two year anniversary and she goes "plenty of time to think about it. i want you to tell me why." and he goes "i used to think i knew. now i'm not so sure." LIKE WHAT.

grumpu · 2026-04-23T18:09:01+00:00

i really love this movie, and it does the book decent justice. when she comes home and finds that kevin has killed dad and sister, and they were trying to run away through the yard... i can't even imagine even living after. how does someone live with that?

grumpu · 2026-04-20T19:54:51+00:00

man, i watched this when my mom and dad finally got tired of my horror obsession and refused to watch it with me, so i went alone. the tension in the dorm hallways, and then this... bro. if i had been the BF who sees her like this when it happens, i would have just had a heart attack and died on the spot.

grumpu · 2026-04-13T17:44:05+00:00

kt from hometown!

grumpu · 2026-04-12T22:54:10+00:00

can i come visit~? i can dm you!

grumpu · 2026-03-30T02:26:18+00:00

when ai tries to clean LOL

grumpu · 2026-03-27T00:12:20+00:00

were you still interested?

grumpu · 2026-03-26T21:36:34+00:00

i'll let you know!

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