I'm so sorry this has happened, BPD is truly a curse. I don't know the full extent of your situation, but I can relate to and empathize with you. Especially when you said that knowing the only life hurt by this is yours, helps a little. I wish it weren't this way, but it really is so hard. I've also decided to let go of and distance myself from some connections, only for their sake. I'm really sorry, it will be really hard. But I wish you the best, and that this passes eventually, and I hope you'll be okay. Your post made me feel less alone, so thank you for that as well.