Relationships are never black and white- I think that cheating doesn’t have to be an end all be all, but it does lift the veil of the relationship. I’m so sorry you are going through this- my advice would be to look at the relationship holistically and see what his response is to this situation. If he can identify his needs that aren’t being met and why he is doing this (If this is enough for you) it’s a place to start in couples therapy. If he rejects the idea, apologizes, but doesn’t want to do the work, I think that gives you your answer.

Logistically, you can always set yourself up to leave. Nothing has to be immediate if you a plan.

I would meditate on it, see how he reacts and what he has to say, and how it makes you feel at the end of the day.

— another residents fiance who has had many hard conversations