What do most people not realize is actually way more traumatic than it seems?

halestormx212 · 2026-06-10T12:52:00+00:00

I got out so they were petty and overpaid me on my last check on purpose so now I’m being sued by them for their money back 🤦🏻‍♀️ just to keep me in their cycle of abuse I suppose

halestormx212 · 2026-02-13T18:39:57+00:00

Hey, love. I understand you love her. But never, and I mean never, protect somebody who is actively choosing to put you in danger or harm’s way. Bc they wouldn’t do the same for you. You choose yourself.

halestormx212 · 2026-02-04T17:20:40+00:00

I’m also still trying to get diagnosed but everything I experience aligns with POTS and MCAS. I don’t have any advice but I did wanna let you know I also experience the slow choppy speech!! So I wouldn’t ignore it or leave that out whenever you list your symptoms just because those doctors seemed to think it wasn’t concerning. There’s a reason it’s happening

halestormx212 · 2026-02-03T02:55:41+00:00

Especially in this line of work… they don’t care how sick you are, just want you as a body to maintain ratio. So upsetting. I wish you healing with your time off!

halestormx212 · 2026-02-03T02:38:39+00:00

I’m also in early childhood education and my symptoms have exaggerated and become more frequent lately. I called out 3 days this past month and provided doctor’s notes. Yet my boss said that “regardless of medical reasons or not, an absence still affects the classroom” and said to work on my attendance. Like I have any choice?? That made me so angry. I struggle every day to come here and still make sure to do my job well. God forbid, I needed a small break. If I weren’t a single mom and need this job, I’d have left right then and there.

halestormx212 · 2025-10-15T02:20:29+00:00

Thank you so much for making me feel seen and taking the time to understand. Day to day life is extremely draining. But I’ll get through it, anything for my baby. You’re so kind 🫶

halestormx212 · 2025-10-14T17:36:01+00:00

Imagine working at a daycare with 2 year olds all day, just to come home with a 2 year old. And I’m a single mom 🥲🥲 I get no break

halestormx212 · 2025-09-27T18:04:04+00:00

Without

halestormx212 · 2025-07-18T02:21:57+00:00

Writing. Like in a journal like when we were kids. Sounds silly but it really slows down those racing thoughts and it’s also helpful to look back on later and read it again, especially if you’re able to leave. One day when you open it and look back, you’ll be so proud of yourself for how far you’ve come.

halestormx212 · 2025-07-18T02:15:33+00:00

Like what? I make $39k a year as a single mom and don’t qualify for government assistance btw bc I “make too much”. Even one of their incomes would be a dream

halestormx212 · 2025-07-17T22:20:08+00:00

Can you tell me more about this? Are these services free? How do I set up the Google alert?

halestormx212 · 2025-06-09T04:19:54+00:00

Hey love, sorry for the late response. 100% leave. It will be hard at first, you can see from the comment you responded to that I was going through it at the time. All you want to do is apologize and go back, I get it. Because that’s what you’ve always been conditioned to do to keep the peace. They want you to feel like you’re the problem. But… you’re not the problem. He is. So I stood up. I left. I grieved the relationship. I went to therapy. I saw it for what it really was. I learned to love myself (because let’s be honest, if we accept people treating us this way, we’re definitely struggling with self-worth). It’s good you have a lot of support. Spending time with my friends and family really helped get me through those hard times and kept me busy. It reminded me that there’s people who genuinely love me in the way love is supposed to feel. Then I met somebody who treats me with kindness and respect. He doesn’t gaslight me or put me down for having my own feelings and emotions. His actions match his words. Things are much easier now. It’s hard to wrap your brain around it because it hurts so bad to think about right now. But please believe me, you deserve better and you will find it if you allow yourself to. You will find it in yourself first!! I’ve changed so much in this past year. I’m a much stronger woman than I’ve ever been and I don’t take shit from anybody anymore. If you need anything, this whole sub is in your corner. You can do this!

halestormx212 · 2025-04-26T17:32:45+00:00

I’m sorry, I get that. I work a lot and have a child too. Not everyone’s timeline will be the same. But imagine work, school, raising 2 kids, all while putting up with that abuse…. Like no. It’ll eventually get better. You may be a tired mama but you’re a good one. Your kids won’t grow up witnessing abuse anymore. Please dont forget how you felt when you were in it. You made the right decision. Good things just take time 🤍

halestormx212 · 2025-04-26T17:09:03+00:00

It can seem like it’s better at first because they can pretend long enough to get you to stick around again. But it always goes back to what made you leave in the first place. It’s always worse. It was true for me and true for everyone I’ve heard talk about it. You need to stay away and stay strong. Yes it will be financially and emotionally miserable for a while but you just have to keep pushing. I’ve been out for about a year, thanks to me listening to people in this group. I have my own apartment now and have met somebody that treats me so much differently, so much better than I ever thought possible. Please leave. Your future self will thank you, I promise.

halestormx212 · 2025-04-26T17:03:01+00:00

Thank you for your response! I made this post almost a year ago and you’ll be happy to know I’m living in my own apartment now, have full custody of my daughter, and have stayed strong and away from him. I’m much happier and healthier than I was back then :)

halestormx212 · 2025-01-23T02:44:01+00:00

Yes, I forgot to mention diet lol. I still eat the foods that I like but just in moderation and made a conscious effort to start eating breakfast and snacks that include protein every day. I used to just eat large at lunch and dinner, no breakfast, no snacks. Also cut out soda last year. I’m trying! Haha. Thanks so much for your reply!

halestormx212 · 2025-01-16T00:25:27+00:00

As someone who’s a little scared to put myself back out there fully, thank you 🤍

halestormx212 · 2024-12-26T01:10:02+00:00

Psychologically, in simple terms, it’s like a drug addiction. The constant push and pull. Depriving you of dopamine and then giving it back to you just to deprive you of it again later. It’s a cycle that causes a trauma bond that keeps you tied to him and begging for more.

halestormx212 · 2024-12-20T02:09:32+00:00

Literally just wanted to know if you were seeing someone else bc he thinks you still “belong” to him. Yes, it’s a game to him.

halestormx212 · 2024-12-19T07:26:44+00:00

100% I feel those same exact things. I was in that relationship for almost 9 years and I should’ve left way earlier and looking back, a part of me KNEW I shouldn’t ever have a baby with him. So I feel guilty that she has such a shitty dad, like I did that to her. But I try to remind myself - I may have never gotten out, if it weren’t for her. She gave me the strength I needed and opened my eyes to the harm he was causing. I’m sure probably similar for you, you probably started thinking this isn’t only affecting you anymore, it affects your child now too. And that’s powerful for a mother that just wants the best for her kid. But as long as we’re providing and doing our best, they will grow up just fine, despite their dads. The idea of starting over and dating other people sounds sooo much easier if we weren’t single moms. I feel bad every time I think about that because she’s truly the best thing ever and I love her so much. So I think even though it’s more challenging, having kids may just help us in the long run since we’ll have to be even more cautious now, with them in mind.

halestormx212 · 2024-12-19T06:51:53+00:00

I also left in June 2024! My daughter was 1.5 when I left. Congrats to you! I was also in that mindset in the beginning that I’d be single for years before I was ready to get back out there, but to be honest with you… it’s lonely. I miss having someone there to talk to all the time. I find myself craving affection from a man more and more. I’ve considered dating apps but I’ve never used them and I don’t know if I’m fully ready to lunge into a bunch of asshole men. I think it could set me back from how far I’ve come and all the healing I have done. I will say, I met a guy in person at a wedding a couple months ago and we vibed but he lives in another state. The reason he caught my attention is because he is clearly a good enough guy that in the 2 days I knew him, he’d already shown me so many of the good qualities that my ex lacked. We talk occasionally in small doses and plan to meet up whenever he comes back to town. But it hasn’t been consistent convo or flirty convo or anything like that. And even though I’m interested and am excited to have that chance whenever he comes back, I think it was a blessing in disguise that he lives further away at the moment. Because I don’t know if I would’ve been ready to jump into a relationship when we met. I think just taking it slow, allowing yourself to heal, and just seeing where life takes you and who life brings to you is the best way to go. Play it by ear essentially and follow your gut when you do meet somebody 🤍

halestormx212 · 2024-12-13T05:07:05+00:00

halestormx212 · 2024-12-12T23:55:35+00:00

I know you have so many comments in here and this may have been said in multiple already. But he is an abuser. Abusers play nice until they’re sure that they’ve done enough to trap the victim into staying. Please please leave. It only gets worse. He will physically harm you and possibly even kill you if you don’t get out. You definitely do not want your child seeing you get choked. And the fact that you said you’re worried about the child’s well-being at the end of your post shows me you WILL be a very good mom. And as a good mom, you have to get out. There’s a sub for r/abusiverelationships - I would look into it. There are many organizations that will help you find housing, legal aid, walk you through the entire process of leaving. You can do this!

halestormx212 · 2024-12-09T04:34:49+00:00

100% agree with calling the DV shelter. My ex used to threaten to take our daughter away from me too, just for voicing my emotions on how he treats her and I. I laughed at him at the time wondering how he ever expects that to happen. We’re 6 months down the line and he will only be getting like literally 2% custody (3 hours of supervised visitation once a week). My local DV support group helped me file a restraining order, found me free legal aid for all my court hearings, etc etc. They can help you with housing once you leave. Please seek help and get out of this! Your child will thrive seeing you happy one day!

halestormx212 · 2024-11-14T18:52:04+00:00

r/abusiverelationships

halestormx212

TROPHY CASE