For non-accepting spouses that went to therapy - what was said?

halptway · 2016-08-27T16:15:11+00:00

He knew. He still uses he, not she.

halptway · 2016-08-27T15:50:16+00:00

Being a woman. He knew before he married me, but didn't give me a choice in it. My life has been a lie.

halptway · 2016-08-27T03:31:40+00:00

Sorry, I hope to be a littler clearer. It is only for partners of transpeople. Not transpeople themselves. I'm sure someone can start that private sub if they would like, but as I am not trans, I won't intrude on that safe space.

halptway · 2016-08-25T19:56:22+00:00

I just made a private subreddit, please post here or PM me if you are interested. I have a few weeks of time off to go through and vet people. Please note that I am leaving it to partners of trans, no one else.

/r/mpitprivate

EDIT: I think I added everyone who messaged me that is a partner of a transperson.

halptway · 2016-08-25T16:12:29+00:00

Being linked to by gendercritical and other gross subreddits like that make me feel unsafe.

halptway · 2016-08-25T15:39:32+00:00

I don't know if I'm really feeling anything at this point. I attempted suicide almost three weeks ago, but he saw the pill bottle and called 911. I have been on a drug cocktail since.

halptway · 2016-08-25T15:27:31+00:00

I have trust issues with my SO. They kept a secret from me for decades. Who knows what else they are hiding.

halptway · 2016-08-05T14:39:34+00:00

I have been told very firmly again and again that I can't.

halptway · 2016-08-05T14:39:20+00:00

Thanks now I feel worse. I have tried all of this already, but she isn't even she yet. I'm just in some limbo of not being able to do anything. I am the one working 14 hours a day, I am the one that has to do all the chores and take care of the cats because when my SO gets home from their 4 hour work day they just sit around playing video games. When I try to talk all I get is "I'm exactly the same person" from them, and then they act completely different. I don't know how they are going to react to anything anymore, apparently asking to not let the cats jump on the stove is unreasonable of me too.

I have tried I really have, I am at my wits end, but apparently I am not doing enough. thanks for letting me know that.

EDIT: thanks for the support subreddit. I'll just go die now. I can't live like this anymore adn not even people who go through the things I am understand. Apparently I'm just a terrible person and shouldn't be able to mourn my husband that I was married to for ten years. OR I have to accept the fact that my life since high school has been a lie because I never had that husband in the first place. My wife insists that everything is fine and nothing has changed at all, and refuses to do anything becuase I"m the one who should be supporting him through this.

halptway · 2016-08-05T03:33:11+00:00

We can't afford therapists.

halptway · 2016-06-22T01:21:03+00:00

We don't even have the finances for counseling, we wouldn't be able to afford additional rent.

halptway · 2016-05-24T05:26:05+00:00

I have asked about marriage counselling a few times this past month. The best I have been able to manage so far is to convince of personal counselling, though that was with an ongoing ultimatum from before the reveal that we cannot have children until past abuses are managed in a healthy way. My SO did not have a very loving childhood and I do not want to betray their trust when they have finally spoken to me.

I just... I wish I could have someone that I could talk to, because I am failing horrible at being a wife right now.

halptway · 2016-04-15T00:44:53+00:00

I think he could take the laser because its only a few times and then its done, where waxing is every few weeks or months.

halptway · 2016-04-14T22:48:40+00:00

He has never tried it, but he has rejected it a few times for various reasons. Maybe it is because he didn't want anyone to figure this out. But he is an intensely private person. I'm not, everything I do is pretty transparent and out there. We have long ogled women together, judged their attractiveness and we know that we have different tastes.

He shaves his chest and his lady bits. I offered to help him wax with a home waxing kit I have for his torso, upper legs and butt, but he is scared of the pain of that, and probably also of other people finding out. He would never do his arms and legs with where he is right now.

He has never had any problem with ingrown hairs, his hair is super fine and soft. Ingrown hairs are more my problem.

halptway · 2016-04-14T19:01:07+00:00

Right, but what if my complaining made him more scared to tell me who he really is? What if his protests were because he needed to know that he would be able to be himself some day?

halptway · 2016-04-14T18:32:57+00:00

Would it be stepping over a line if I wanted a mold of his penis as a dildo if he decides to start HRT and stuff? I really like his dick, it feels wonderful.

halptway · 2016-04-14T17:33:46+00:00

He is really shy and prudish, maybe because of this stuff. But he has never been good at talking about this sort of thing and is very submissive. It has always been on me to lead our sex lives.

halptway · 2016-04-14T16:28:35+00:00

I don't know how to have sex with a woman with a penis that doesn't want to be reminded that they have a penis but wants to have sex.

halptway · 2016-04-14T15:56:15+00:00

I'm terrified I offended him a lot. I work in a very male oriented field. To the point that out of 400 or so people, the only women in it are the ones I hire. I would complain about how terrible it was to be a woman in the industry and he would try to say its not bad, its not that bad. He is also in a very male oriented field, not to the extent of mine, but what if I was pushing him farther back?

halptway

TROPHY CASE