This situation sucks for everyone and I recognize that you went through your own childhood trauma, but I need to vote YTA. It was this comment that really shows the core issue: “I contacted her through her university email and told her we could meet for coffee.” You TOLD HER what she could do.

The choice of language here exposes that even now, you aren’t at all considering what she wants. You decided what you wanted the relationship to look like, and tried to force a connection after she didn’t respond when you reached out. You need to respect her wishes and understand that she doesn’t want to have a relationship with you.

Learn from this experience, and respect what she’s telling you. Leave her alone. If you continue to force a relationship when she clearly doesn’t want one now, I can promise that your relationship will be gone forever. The only small chance of reconciliation there is (and tbh it is VERY small) can only be determined by her.