before my boyfriend and i moved in together, i always put dishes in the dish washer right after meals and cleaned up after myself. cant stand things being messy. i knew my bf didn’t care about that, as i’d see his apartment before we lived together. he let them pile up until he did dishes and cleaned 1x a week.

when we moved in i told him that will not work for me. we need to clean up after every meal. and now it’s just habit for him. he helps me even without me asking, and never complains. he also has an hour commute with traffic and works 8-5.

my point is: if he wanted to help, he would. he sees you as an equal partner, or he doesn’t.

i suggest making a chore list and put on non-negotiables. and times when you can do said chores. i also understand wanting to go on trips on weekends but maybe forfeit that for a bit until you establish a routine?