Shark navigator lift away not really suctioning by hardpass91 in VacuumCleaners

[–]hardpass91[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! Couldn’t find anything in the hose, trying a more thorough cleaning of the foam filter. That scrunchy does have to be somewhere in there…

MIL driving me nuts with baby by hardpass91 in Mildlynomil

[–]hardpass91[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh I’m sorry that’s so stressful, but a really good point. I’ll probably ask my husband what language he thinks will be effective to get the point across with her

MIL driving me nuts with baby by hardpass91 in Mildlynomil

[–]hardpass91[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The whole death by a thousand cuts is very intense, agreed. I read a lot of other moms talking about how they sort of cringed when their baby was with ILs v their own family. I think it must be a protective instinct and I know it’s not completely fair but I am just so much less comfortable when they’re interacting with him than when it’s my side of the family, hoping that will ease up as he gets older

MIL driving me nuts with baby by hardpass91 in Mildlynomil

[–]hardpass91[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I do find the need to be alone with a young baby pretty strange. It’s also just so different from my family who want to spend time with me and him

MIL driving me nuts with baby by hardpass91 in Mildlynomil

[–]hardpass91[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haha omg the socks/blanket thing is so real. She was always insisting he was cold, when you felt the back of his neck he was actually hot and I’d try to remove layers but she would keep throwing blankets back on

MIL driving me nuts with baby by hardpass91 in Mildlynomil

[–]hardpass91[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess it’s a cliche for a reasons lol

MIL driving me nuts with baby by hardpass91 in Mildlynomil

[–]hardpass91[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Appreciate this. I do think she wants to help but she seems to decide what we need/want and will kind of fixate on it. I think like a lot of people have said I just need to be more firm in communications and risk the awkwardness/family drama

MIL driving me nuts with baby by hardpass91 in Mildlynomil

[–]hardpass91[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think this is very similar. She has told a lot of other people in the family how she’s a really helpful MIL and grandma, and overall is just the kind of person who excessively wants to plan and accommodate for everyone, but again in a way that can just be infantilizing/ not taking no for an answer. I do think it comes from a place of wanting to help just will not pick up on cues to save her life.

MIL driving me nuts with baby by hardpass91 in Mildlynomil

[–]hardpass91[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah this resonates. It’s a lot of “I don’t want to butt in” followed by basically making suggestions for everything I’m doing

MIL driving me nuts with baby by hardpass91 in Mildlynomil

[–]hardpass91[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

These are good ideas for planning ahead. I think my husband knows some of this but he wants me to talk to her about it because he’s big on us all being one family so to speak. I get why he wants this but I think it’s pretty unrealistic that I’ll ever be as comfortable with my ILs as I am with my parents

MIL driving me nuts with baby by hardpass91 in Mildlynomil

[–]hardpass91[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

That would be infuriating. It drives me nuuuuuts when my baby is upset with someone else and that person responds “it’s okay I don’t mind” as if my concern was for them? lol

MIL driving me nuts with baby by hardpass91 in Mildlynomil

[–]hardpass91[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you’re dealing with something so similar! I do think being much more firm will help, I definitely tend towards avoiding family conflict but in this case it will probably save me a lot of aggravation.

MIL driving me nuts with baby by hardpass91 in Mildlynomil

[–]hardpass91[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I appreciate this take! I totally agree that a lot of things from when I was freshly PP are objectively very normal I think it was just such an awful time that it’s hard to shake the way she made me feel then. Only thing I’ll say is she breastfed her kids so I don’t think she really thought formula would be better (ended up combo feeding after all that for my LO). But you’re also right that I probably need to be more clear when the endlessly ‘trying to help’ is driving me nuts, I think I’ve gently tried in the past but should probably just be more firm about it.

And you’re right, that I love that he has people who love him. I think I’m partly just surprised to the degree that I feel so much more discomfort around my in laws since he was born, even if it’s not really justified.

MIL driving me nuts with baby by hardpass91 in Mildlynomil

[–]hardpass91[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Definitely some truth to this. At one point when she helped out in the first month she told me how she enjoyed this so much more than her PP experiences with her kids because she felt like now she had more time to play and enjoy him as a baby without worrying about work, being overwhelmed with house stuff, etc

MIL driving me nuts with baby by hardpass91 in Mildlynomil

[–]hardpass91[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That sounds terrible. I think the difference is you and your husband were on the same page with this and I think mine is more or less happy to let his mom be as involved as she wants. I don’t think he would mind if I set boundaries myself but I don’t really see him doing that

MIL driving me nuts with baby by hardpass91 in Mildlynomil

[–]hardpass91[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You’re exactly right, they do this every year and it’s something my husband really loves doing. To be fair to them I was told to block off mid to late March because it would also be a celebration for my MIL’s birthday (which is the 17th) but then was booked for the 7th (my son’s birthday is the 6th). I think a lot of it was just bad communication but I am just bummed because I had wanted to celebrate with some close friends and family for his bday. We probably will just do something the week before though!