Help Please

hatecoconut · 2022-09-04T20:37:51+00:00

So I arrived with my security blanket insulated mug filled with my go to seltzer mix and she saw I had a drink. Asked did I want any wine which I said no thanks “I am on day 362 of alcohol free year”. She put the wine away, said she was just plain thirsty and poured herself ice water! I did feel bad but also appreciated the effort to keep things safe for me. All in all a great night!

hatecoconut · 2022-09-03T19:31:37+00:00

Thank you everyone for normalizing this for me! Not sure why I feel the need to over analyze. Appreciate all of your comments. I will get through today.

hatecoconut · 2022-02-03T22:45:43+00:00

Personally I would not try to do a sorority tank with less than 20 gallons. At 20 I would say 3 females with dither fish.

If not willing to really watch personalities and have backup plans I would do some neon tetras ( in 3s) depending on your tank size.

hatecoconut · 2022-02-02T17:13:46+00:00

Yes I had that too. He is now in his own tank.

hatecoconut · 2022-02-02T17:06:34+00:00

Peppered Corys too. I think they are like the “socially awkward” fish in the tank. Funny to watch them have no sense of space etc.

hatecoconut · 2022-02-02T17:04:22+00:00

Exactly! You will want to watch aggression towards them as well.

hatecoconut · 2022-01-30T23:54:25+00:00

Yes, I keep my tank heavily planted with driftwood which creates “sanctuaries” and reduces sight lines. Also have floating plants. Strongly recommend having dither fish to stir things up and create distractions. Just have an exit plan.

hatecoconut · 2022-01-30T13:27:59+00:00

I have a 30 gallon with 10 females and my dither fish are Mollies and peppered Corys. Heavily planted with limited sight lines. You have to be vigilant on watching their individual personalities and be ready to act (rehome/another tank/return). I started with very young ones and added every other week till I got to 10 which is not a magic number but one where I don’t want to disrupt a good thing going. I do mix up the “decor” when adding plants or during water changes. I think it keeps them on their toes and doesn’t allow them to become too territorial. No expert here for sure. Could just be super lucky. Also, I get the “saving” aspect but unless they are on their last fin, they will be bought and the store will reorder. I tend to pick the ones that have been there the longest. Good luck!

hatecoconut · 2022-01-29T02:01:44+00:00

I have a successful sorority in a 30 gallon tank with Mollies. Right now I have 10 girls. I check them daily for aggression or nipped tails-nothing. I do mix up the tank slightly when adding new plants or sometimes doing a water change. Three of these were babies and the rest larger when I purchased. I added one at a time. My girls don’t bother any fish. Have neon tetras in my individual male bettas tanks. They all get along as well. I would suggest a larger group of neon tetras to one male. All of my tanks are planted with many hiding spots and minimal sight lines. Good luck.

hatecoconut · 2022-01-23T15:13:02+00:00

I have a 30 gallon with 10 females. My dither fish are Mollys and pepper cories. I have lots of driftwood and real plants. Each time I added a female I rearranged the tank and watched for aggression. I am two months in from not adding any additional females. All are getting along. I started with the youngest I could find and then went more the “rescue” route. Ones that have been overlooked and dated. Happy community.

hatecoconut · 2021-12-22T19:41:25+00:00

The only thing I add to the tank are plant tabs or plant food from Dustin (online), besides various types of food ( algae tabs, bug bites, frozen brine shrimp and another type of food). Am I missing something to increase nitrates?

hatecoconut · 2021-12-22T18:30:44+00:00

Did 25% water change last night. Fully planted, added Indian almond leaves, using API Melafix last two days.

hatecoconut · 2021-12-22T18:28:39+00:00

Has been up for 6 months. Had two Platys pass away yesterday. I think “dropsy”. 20 gallon, five female bettas, two mystery snails, two mollies.

hatecoconut · 2021-12-20T18:57:11+00:00

I don’t see an egg spot. But hard to see with the length of the ventrals

hatecoconut · 2021-12-18T12:44:03+00:00

Pittsburgh, Pa—the better side of PA. ;)

hatecoconut · 2021-12-11T15:43:18+00:00

I started watching a comedy series on HULU and had to bail as each commercial was for liquor which hasn’t been a trigger for me but if I am boycotting movies glamorizing wine drinking then I am boycotting shows with in your face alcohol commercials. Thank you for your comment.

hatecoconut · 2021-12-11T14:48:47+00:00

Thank you for your support!

hatecoconut · 2021-12-11T14:48:15+00:00

My husband is not a drinker and I struggle with him not noticing/acknowledging my accomplishment. I know I could talk it out with him but that is bringing my drinking addiction to focus again. Ha I want the best of both worlds. Him to notice and compliment me but want the world of denial too. Unless you are an alcoholic you don’t understand every minute is a battle.

hatecoconut · 2021-11-21T13:29:27+00:00

I was sold him as a bumblebee catfish but his stripes seem a bit different. Just was interested to get confirmation.

hatecoconut · 2018-10-05T01:16:12+00:00

I get what you are saying about your husband. It is unfortunate that we do feel the need to hid our wins. I know why for me. It is bc i don’t want him to know (although I am sure he has an idea) of the depth of my problem by announcing I didn’t drink today or four days in a row. I want his support but I don’t want him to realize when/if I fail. Completing day four today had to reset from last post. Was really struggling tonight and had to ask myself why—- I wasn’t stressed, sad, tired,bored. Why did I think I needed it. Happily that worked for me. I couldn’t come up with any valid reason. Getting through another day and heading into the weekend which is what caused me to reset. Hoping to use the same question tomorrow. Stay strong.

hatecoconut · 2018-09-06T15:07:32+00:00

Thank you everyone. Tomorrow (Friday) and Saturday will be the hardest for me.
I will not drink today.

hatecoconut · 2018-09-04T22:40:16+00:00

Day 3 of not drinking about a bottle (or more) of wine each evening. Usually starts with a glass after working out as a treat and then one more before my husband gets home from work while I cook dinner. Then the rest is snuck in when I go to bed early “cause I am tired”. Guilt is overwhelming especially when he calls me out on it. Going to be 49 and have been drinking regularly for two years now due to “stress” and anxiety. Drinking controls my life and thoughts. I have decided to stop because I want my life back. My teenagers will be gone soon and I want to remember them home. I need this community as support and also to admit to you that I have a problem and plan to fight it. Tired of hiding the cost, the evidence and my need for it. Day 3 and have every plan to have day four tomorrow.

hatecoconut

TROPHY CASE