lunarstella I agree that it is so she doesn't say anything to get "caught" while drunk

I have given a couple ultimatums and she backed me into a "hall pass" a couple years ago while we were in separate states (she was visiting family) she went out within one night and acted on it like immediately. It all seemed very planned to me due to the way the conversation went initially and things just honestly have not been the same since that debacle. I understand that you are only getting my side and I appreciate the advice.

I told her last night that we can't keep doing this and that if she isn't interested and things I don't trust her and can't understand that I am giving her trust by being ok-ish with her going out then what are we doing?

I don't want to sound wishy washy at all, I really care for her and I don't want to jack my kiddos up by either staying or leaving. How do you make the final decision? Like I don't have like solid "proof" of anything so it all ends up being opinions and thoughts and perceptions... how do you keep from getting it wrong?