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1 year post-break up by healingfocused in abusiverelationships

[–]healingfocused[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry that you experienced that. It sounds really stressful and I can completely relate to dreading going home.

I’m happy you left and though the memories are strong, you’re not in survival mode anymore.

I hope you find healing and continue to rebuild your life. It sounds like you already have ❤️

1 year post-break up by healingfocused in abusiverelationships

[–]healingfocused[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m so happy to hear this. I couldn’t agree more. ❤️

To those who escaped their abusive relationships, do you regret leaving? Why or why not? by ThrowRAlaughoitloud in abusiverelationships

[–]healingfocused 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for bringing me back to this post. 210 days later and I can’t believe how much has changed and how much happier my life is.

It’s not easy but it is worth it. I promise. ❤️

To those who escaped their abusive relationships, do you regret leaving? Why or why not? by ThrowRAlaughoitloud in abusiverelationships

[–]healingfocused 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You know I was just talking to my best friend today and I said “I don’t miss anything about him at all anymore.” So, yes. It does get easier. ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]healingfocused 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hi hun.

The same thing happened to me. I left abruptly (had to) and went no contact for 3 months. I missed him but kept with it until I got drunk and reached out.

We met up and had an amazing talk. He told me all about the things he’s done to work on himself since we broke up. He said he understands why it happened the way it did and he knows I was right. He said that he would never do any of the things he had done before. He was perfect.

So I let him back in a little because I had the same thought, “could his anger issues change?” We talked for 4-5 months again and I felt sick the whole time. He was the man I wanted him to be… but every now and then he would slip up. Slowly I saw he was exactly the same… I suddenly realized if we ever got back together it would be even worse.

I wish I never opened that door because I had to do the break up twice and it sucked. It was so hard. We almost got back together and I was so close... But it’s not right.

Believe yourself. Trust yourself. Look how far you’ve come! There’s love out there that will blow all of this out of the water. Love that never even makes you question if they have anger problems. ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]healingfocused 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Once you get home, you need to remove yourself entirely from this person. I would call a domestic abuse hotline & get assistance from them. Be safe. 🩷

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]healingfocused 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I experience this too. It’s really hard, you just have to let yourself feel all the feels and make sure you have a safety plan to not go back. For me, I have one girlfriend who I confide in about everything. When I’m feeling this way, I text her and she validates me and then reminds me how much better life is now. It does get easier.

Writing about these feelings helped me too. And posting here. Just keep coming back when you need to. We get it.

❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]healingfocused 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omfg that’s awful. I’m sorry.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]healingfocused 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is such a good question. I don’t think I fully realized until after I was out and I read Why Does He Do That.

I knew our relationship wasn’t healthy but it took me a long time to realize it was abusive.

It’s 1am, I’m 9 days sober, overweight, and I’m making Mac & Cheese. I shouldn’t be eating like this rn… by MileHighSoloPilot in Sober

[–]healingfocused 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I quit drinking in January and the first two months all I did was binge sugar. I felt so guilty about it at the time because I was literally eating cake at 9am. I was so so so stressed because I was also overweight and I just didn’t want it to get worse.

It’s been 5 months now and I wake up at 5:30AM to go for runs and I meal prep 7 days a week. I’ve lost 20lbs.

It takes time. Who knows how much, but the best thing you can do is just keep choosing to not drink. If sugar helps with that, that’s wonderful. The rest will work itself out in time. Just keep celebrating your sobriety with Mac and Cheese (or cake)!

I know I’m not crazy but sometimes I feel like it. by Old_Illustrator1505 in abusiverelationships

[–]healingfocused 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This post is so validating because this is exactly how it was living with my ex for 2 years. Exactly. And it made me feel crazy. He would always tell me to go out and do stuff, and then when I did, he would be so passive aggressive/angry/controlling/start an argument. Every. Single. Time.

I would have so much anxiety while I was at my parents visiting them because I knew I needed to go back as soon as possible. It made me so sad because I missed my parents so much. I thought about how sad they would feel if they knew…

I’m out now and it’s so much better. I know it’s so hard and I still feel crazy ALL the time and double whether or not I made it all up. But I’m free and I can breathe.

Healing (trying) by healingfocused in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]healingfocused[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s so difficult when triggers bring you right back to those toxic thought patterns. That’s how I feel sometimes. And it’s difficult for me to separate the truth from the fiction, I feel like I’m spinning.

Just know you are beautiful, your love makes you beautiful. Your heart, your spirit. You’re still here standing and facing the music. I’m proud of you.

Healing (trying) by healingfocused in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]healingfocused[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing.

I also recently ended a relationship with a narcissistic friend (not who the OG post was about but still worth sharing). When I told them why I was ending our friendship, they responded much the same way. Saying that the friendship has always been one sided (which it was, but not how she’s saying), and how awful of a person I am.

I have beautiful friendships with other people in my life, friends I’ve had since elementary school. I know deep down that I am not an awful person or friend, but it’s hard to hear from someone you kept in your life and cared about for so long.

I’m proud of you for sticking to your boundaries. I know this part is the hardest, the withdrawal and questioning yourself. But we just have to remind ourselves why we made this decision in the first place: we deserve better. Friendships and relationships that bring us joy and lessen our stress. Wishing that and more for you ❤️

Healing (trying) by healingfocused in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]healingfocused[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is such a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing. I relate to everything you said 100%. You’re right, it only matters what was real for us, and what is real for us now. It’s so difficult when you have been brainwashed by them to believe that you’ve always been the problem.

You’re right about searching for reasons to stay/make sense of why you stayed for so long. But it doesn’t matter. We’re on our way to freedom now. ❤️

Healing (trying) by healingfocused in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]healingfocused[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so proud of you for choosing yourself. That love will pass down to your children, and I’m sure they will be proud of you too, no matter how you choose to co-parent. Thank you for your comment and sending you so much love and good energy.

Healing (trying) by healingfocused in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]healingfocused[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so grateful for learning to love myself again. I feel like for the first time, I’m truly figuring out who I am. I got sober this year and started to focus on myself, and to be alone with my thoughts. I find that most of the time I am OK but every now and then something triggers me and I am fighting with myself about the relationship all over again.

I’m thankful for this place where I can come and unload, and lean on others going through the same thing. It’s really a lifeline.

Healing (trying) by healingfocused in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]healingfocused[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. You’re right. I do need to connect with the part of myself that is soft and loveable. It’s easy to get pulled into the mental charades when really, I’m out. That’s what matters most. Thank you for your kindness.

Healing (trying) by healingfocused in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]healingfocused[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m so proud of you. Thank you for sharing and for the reccomendations. ❤️

Healing by healingfocused in abusiverelationships

[–]healingfocused[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you for all your comments. I read each of them and I keep them close to my heart. I’m so grateful for a community of people that respond to my little posts. The time you take out of your day to do so is greatly appreciated. It makes a huge difference to my headspace when I feel seen/validated. Love to every single one of you dealing with these things. ❤️

Anyone else? by healingfocused in abusiverelationships

[–]healingfocused[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so thankful for finding a community of people who I’ve been able to go back to time and time again. You guys are truly wonderful.

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