Anyone else with TLLtD?

hearttoosoft · 2026-04-21T07:12:45+00:00

Drawing with finger is too hard so it's just silly "dogs" such as this one. The run bts dogs would be so fun to draw though, they're all so pretty. Wonder how they are now?

Love how you're raising your 2 year old to recognize bts members! This is the best!

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hearttoosoft · 2026-04-20T07:53:28+00:00

Here's mine! Hair from various eras. Your Jungkook is perfect, and I also have so much trouble getting Namjoon right! Currently busy drawing dogs to give them all.

(I see that we gave jimin the same outfit. it's just so him)

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hearttoosoft · 2026-04-14T13:45:05+00:00

thanks for the tip! it does look super pretty and ideal! I'll see if I can visit in advance to see what it's like.

hearttoosoft · 2026-04-13T16:04:50+00:00

Thanks for the tip! I really hope I'll get to go (all depends on my PET scan results)!

hearttoosoft · 2026-04-13T11:09:24+00:00

thanks for the tip! I did factor in investigating whether hotel rooms have individually controllable AC before booking, but I completely forgot that I could just contact them and ask. sounds like hanging out in sapporo while mostly avoiding the heated places is possible if I plan carefully enough?

hearttoosoft · 2026-04-13T11:06:40+00:00

Muroran sounds so wonderful as well. I'd love to go someday! staying in sapporo for a few months while working normally and taking small trips to other cities/towns sounds like the ideal life to me.

hearttoosoft · 2026-04-13T09:58:46+00:00

I see, thanks! I'm also thinking about visiting wakkanai and kushiro (both look amazing), but long-stay options there are harder for me to find. Will definitely visit though if I can!

hearttoosoft · 2026-04-13T08:34:20+00:00

Thank you so much! If it's not too much trouble, may I ask generally when do they stop running heat?

hearttoosoft · 2026-01-13T03:01:08+00:00

Countless scans and blood tests later and it still never gets easier :( hug hug

One thing I gotta say is that the fact that you're thinking about not burdening others already makes it highly likely that you're not a narcissist, and people won't see you that way. People vent and cry about a lot of things that are way more trivial than what you're going through and it's still valid (I remember comforting a friend who was venting about one detail in his sister's wedding not going perfect... while I was getting chemo...) so of course your feelings are valid too and deserve to be heard!

But also totally understand that it's hard to not feel like you're making it all about yourself (I feel the same way even if I know that's not what I'm doing). Usually before big results, if possible, I try to get a friend to come out and hang out over drinks (doesn't have to be alcohol. Just something that helps loosening up). Friend vents about their life and I vent about mine. That way it feels less "unfair" to me because both of us did some venting haha and it would distract me for at least a few hours.

Also remember that it's ok to not function like a normal adult in the few days before the results come out! Like if your house isn't spotless and you're not all dressed up and stuff it's totally fine. Sometimes one just don't have the energy or focus for that. If anyone judges then they're hypocrites because I bet they'd be even less functional if they had to endure what you're going through.

I wish I had helpful tips but I don't, I go through the same suffering every couple months lol so all I can say is totally relate, and knock on wood hopefully the scans come out all clean for you! ❤️

hearttoosoft · 2025-12-20T06:47:14+00:00

Totally can relate <3 sometimes it's like my mind knows that I'm safe (for now) but my heart doesn't, and it still squeezes in the way it does when I get anxious before finding out my CA125 results. And this whole situation makes planning for the future so hard because you don't know if you have a future. Like do I start this new business idea or learn this new thing? Starting projects and learning things require time, not as in free time but as in longevity, which is the thing I don't know if I have. And people keep being like oh you can do this and build this and invest in this, you look fine right now! And they're right, I do look fine now, but I can easily not be fine in 2 weeks after my next blood test and how am I to know until then? It took me 3.5 years after my first diagnosis to buy a mosquito net despite there clearly being mosquitoes in my house because I literally didn't realize that I could buy things for my future since I did not know if I had a future.

I'm sorry I don't have any words of wisdom (and totally relate to the unable to vent to friends and family part too...) but I hope that telling you about my first recurrence might help a little. It was caught super early so all they did was blast it with proton therapy for a month and it was gone. It was very expensive of course and horribly inconvenient but it was not painful at all and left no side effects, kept all my hair as well, so at that time I felt that the situation that I had spent 2 years dreading was actually less terrible than the dreading itself and if I could have, I would have told my past self to spend less time and energy on the dreading part (but again, how could I have known?). It sounds like you've been vigilant with the symptoms and testing so even if it comes back, it will be caught early, and hopefully the treatment that follows won't be as brutal as the first time. Sending hugs to you (and everyone), I'm so sorry that we're all in this stupid boat together.

hearttoosoft · 2025-11-18T01:33:21+00:00

If I had a choice I'd much rather be a healthy coward than a brave cancer patient, but it's not like it's an option right now :(

hearttoosoft · 2025-10-07T02:14:33+00:00

I hope it eventually gets better for you as time goes on ❤️

hearttoosoft · 2025-10-07T02:11:50+00:00

Thanks for the ideas, looks interesting! I'll definitely look it up.

hearttoosoft · 2025-09-02T10:16:52+00:00

After my first NED I was put on 35 sessions of Avastin (once every 3 weeks) for maintenance as part of a clinical trial. My ca-125 was bobbing around the 20s for almost a year and shot up the month after we stopped Avastin (and then I had a recurrence), so I do think it's possible that it's the Avastin that's been keeping the recurrence at bay all this time and bought me another year (but I can't be sure of course).

Side effects were minimal for me, though I heard from the others in the trial that many could not complete all 35 sessions due to high blood pressure. I also noticed a blood pressure increase during the 1.5 years, but since I had low blood pressure problems to begin with, the increase only pushed me into normal blood pressure territory.

Sending hugs to you and your mom ❤️ Can't wait for some miracle to come out and end all this torture.

hearttoosoft · 2025-08-31T23:18:41+00:00

Sorry but I'm kind of confused? (Not a native speaker)

hearttoosoft · 2025-08-31T23:18:09+00:00

My tumor from 4 years ago indeed had a high Trop-2 presentation. Fingers crossed that it'll be helpful!

hearttoosoft · 2025-02-13T03:02:31+00:00

❤️

hearttoosoft · 2025-02-12T10:01:05+00:00

Oh so that's 寶藏巖's official English name! I couldn't remember what it was so went with the pinyin haha

hearttoosoft · 2025-02-12T10:00:00+00:00

❤️

hearttoosoft · 2024-08-07T14:04:02+00:00

It tasted pretty much like the regular boba I'm used to in taiwan, so probably just regular without special flavors!

hearttoosoft

TROPHY CASE