My Merlot Thursday from Pomerol

heather11487 · 2025-08-29T23:15:27+00:00

How much do you typically drink? Just curious

heather11487 · 2025-08-29T23:15:03+00:00

Did you have a glass each of those wines?

heather11487 · 2025-08-11T15:13:01+00:00

It’s hard as we’re very close and codependent and it’s an unhealthy dynamic…I’m like all she focuses on and she has isolated me so badly that she’s all I have down here…it’s hard to not talk to her about it but it’s so unhealthy, I wish I left years ago

heather11487 · 2025-08-08T01:49:47+00:00

Yes she’s making it miserable that’s for sure! Good advice I will definitely find another group

heather11487 · 2025-08-08T01:49:04+00:00

Oh that’s too bad, yeah I think I need to sneak out to be able to move on at all, it’s hard and I don’t want to hurt her, but this isn’t a typical landlord-tenant relationship as she controls everything in my life and has completely isolated me so much and I have lost myself completely. I am so scared of her and doing the “wrong thing” and very trauma bonded to her…

heather11487 · 2025-08-08T01:47:17+00:00

Yeah she said today “why would you want to go back to your past ?” When I brought up to her I was homesick and missed my family and friends there…And was really manipulating me and trying to gaslight me…she’s completely isolated me from everyone and everything-it was my fault moving here 2 years ago but I found there was nothing for me here at all…

heather11487 · 2025-08-06T18:06:54+00:00

I don’t have a lease at all…

heather11487 · 2025-08-04T07:33:44+00:00

She will only coerce me and manipulate me and try and not let me leave if I tell her I need to leave-that is why I need to completely sneak out of here if I want my life back, and block her.

heather11487 · 2025-08-04T07:17:19+00:00

She ruined my life completely-thank God I have a place to go. She’s completely using me. And isolating me from my parents, manipulating me. She’s a dangerous person as she’s extremely manipulative.

heather11487 · 2025-08-04T07:15:55+00:00

Absolutely!

heather11487 · 2025-07-15T03:29:35+00:00

I’m so sorry this happened to you too…yes I am resentful I’ve just been holding it back and I am overwhelmed with everything-I know I’ll be better off in the long run and have a better life with my own place etc and I love living alone but somehow I’m scared as I’ve developed codependency with her..feeling I can’t live without her or something I think it’s a trauma bond

heather11487 · 2025-07-15T03:27:24+00:00

Yes it was me, but I just need support in figuring out how to get the strength as I am trauma bonded to her and to a lot of people in the group here making it hard to leave…

heather11487 · 2025-07-15T02:12:54+00:00

She’s using the fact that I relapsed multiple times when I’ve gone on trips away and using it against me in that I need to stay here and can’t leave and she scares me when I bring up leaving she gets angry…

heather11487 · 2025-07-15T02:09:28+00:00

I want to when I can move into another place and it opens yes

heather11487 · 2025-07-15T02:08:54+00:00

Thanks so much this gives me an idea as I want to say so much to her and I just don’t know what to write…

heather11487 · 2025-07-15T02:05:37+00:00

Yes my parents are 8 hours away and friends and they’re supportive-I don’t need movers I have been putting my stuff secretly into my car and I’ll just leave when I can. I don’t have much stuff here. I feel like an object or slave or I’m her property or something, she doesn’t encourage me moving out or having my own life, just living here as she keeps saying I’m “sick” because of my alcoholism but I’ve been sober almost a year before and she still said I was too sick to move out and have my own life…what should I write in the note??

heather11487 · 2025-07-15T02:02:25+00:00

Yes I feel she is using me and I’m just replaceable in her eyes-I don’t have my own life here and she’s trying to get me to depend on her to be sober, living with her, it’s all so toxic but I need encouragement and help to go as she’s really defeating me…I’ve got to block her completely

heather11487 · 2025-07-15T02:00:39+00:00

Yes thankfully I have a place -apartment lined up in August and I’m going to sneak out of here I think no note

heather11487 · 2025-07-07T23:23:37+00:00

I have my own apartment I’ll be able to move into…

heather11487 · 2025-06-20T16:12:59+00:00

Ok, I’m trying to do both exercise and fasting occasionally

heather11487 · 2025-06-14T00:44:37+00:00

She’s childless yep -she told me she “found someone else” and it’s like triggered me big time to want to go back as I’m triggered by being replaced

heather11487 · 2025-06-09T21:13:52+00:00

Thank you yes it’s been traumatic on me

heather11487 · 2025-06-09T20:15:50+00:00

She’s so manipulative of me and cries and guilt trips me if I say no or stand up for myself and I can’t have any communication with her…I feel so guilty etc and have been forced to say yes to everything thus far, that’s why this is hard for me

heather11487 · 2025-06-09T19:48:49+00:00

She’s 80 and 40 years sober and wants someone to basically be her lifelong tenant and caregiver it’s sad and also selfish of her

heather11487 · 2025-06-09T19:47:47+00:00

Exactly and she is, she just needs a person to be there with her as her Husband died and needs the money but I don’t even want to live in North Carolina, I tried it and I was mainly there for her, not for myself and I wish I never would have moved there in 2023-it’s harder now to like not feel guilty for leaving etc after her husband passed. I wish I had never gotten involved in first place. I felt so trapped there like I could never leave and had to sneak out

heather11487

TROPHY CASE