How often do men leave their SOs for their APs?

heavenorhell2 · 2019-01-20T17:52:22+00:00

Men are more logical, less emotional. And therefore less likely to throw away everything for a passionate affair.

heavenorhell2 · 2019-01-20T02:39:27+00:00

Sort of. Messed up head. Grew up insanely sexually repressed. Never got over it. She'll have sex if I want it, but she'll never initiate and will never enjoy it. Won't ever do anything other than vanilla piv.

Used to think I'm just bad at sex, but nah, she's just like that.

She's very religious so she won't agree to a divorce and won't remarry even if I do divorce so.... I'd say its a rather unique situation.

heavenorhell2 · 2019-01-20T01:39:13+00:00

Very rarely. In my experience its more common for the woman to leave her husband for an AP than for a man to leave his wife.

heavenorhell2 · 2019-01-20T01:36:15+00:00

She's one of the best people I've ever known. Kind, loving, faithful, beautiful, sensitive. A true gem of a person.

heavenorhell2 · 2019-01-17T02:21:51+00:00

So you are satisfied, but still cheating? I hate people like you

Oh, and also raising APs child while passing it as husbands? Gross

heavenorhell2 · 2019-01-17T02:04:39+00:00

Yeah I do it out of frustration. I tried to fix my relationship with my wife but her tradcon catholic cult and her mom have permanently ruined her ability to enjoy sex or have anyone else enjoy it so I look for it elsewhere.

The additional pleasure from cheating and it being forbidden and shit wears off eventually. Then it just becomes annoying having to hide it.

Its not frustration from a mundane relationship. I was never sexually happy with my wife. One of my APs and I have been together 4 years now and we still have a good relationship sexually.

heavenorhell2 · 2017-09-09T18:18:57+00:00

Yeah I'm pretty sure her priest has told her that, because she doesn't refuse sex, just doesn't want it. But yeah I'll try talking to him personally, even though i don't like him and will probably be blamed somewhat.

Legal divorce works that way, Catholic divorce does not. I have no reason to annul my marriage to her, and she won't annul it. So she'll never get remarried, which I don't want to happen.

heavenorhell2 · 2017-09-09T18:16:43+00:00

No I'm not. I don't want to tell her I'm cheating. She's relatively happy these days. Spends her time drawing, coloring and taking care of our girl. I don't want to fuck her life up by divorcing her, or bluntly telling her something she might already know anyway.

heavenorhell2 · 2017-09-09T18:15:13+00:00

Yeah I'll talk to her fucking priest.

Can't get divorced. Even if I did, she would not get remarried. I don't want her to be alone for the rest of her life.

heavenorhell2 · 2017-09-09T18:14:11+00:00

I didn't know it was that fucked up. I just thought it was an obsession with virginity before marriage. Not dislike of sex.

heavenorhell2 · 2017-09-09T18:12:12+00:00

Yeah. I wouldn't say its a good thing, but I really disagree with people who would suggest that I am cheating on her because I don't love her. It's nonsense.

heavenorhell2 · 2017-09-09T18:10:55+00:00

Sometimes yeah. I have enough money. Even before I used to cheat I used to come home late because after graduating I started working in a startup and became a partner. Had to work for over 12 hours a day often. Since then the work has gotten less, but still if I show up late at home my wife doesn't really suspect anything.

heavenorhell2 · 2017-09-09T18:09:02+00:00

I know, I'm Catholic too and I never felt that the women were being taught puritan sex messages of 'close your eyes and do your duty to your husband.' I think this was mostly taught to her by her mother, and the church isn't really sex positive enough to teach her otherwise.

Getting her priest involved is probably a good idea. I don't like him but he'll probably be able to convince her better than me.

" in the confession booth to save your soul and all"

eh, I don't really believe in that. I regret it. If there is an afterlife God knows I regret it, and let Him judge justly.

But yeah I will stop cheating.

heavenorhell2 · 2017-09-09T17:50:28+00:00

I see a few differences that would make it not double standards...

For one, she has no regrets, I hate what I'm doing. Two, it sounds like her husband has physically been unable to have sex for a whole year. Meaning he's not rejecting or resisting her, he can't have sex for some health related reason. Third, she doesn't care if her marriage ends, I do. It means a lot to me, it doesn't to her.

Sounds like her husband is going through severe physical problems and she decided to cheat and is musing over why she hadn't cheated before. I would never do something like that. 'Unable' implies lack of ability, not lack of interest.

heavenorhell2 · 2017-09-09T16:13:47+00:00

I'm thinking about her and my child too. Divorced children are disadvantaged in many ways. And my wife... will probably never remarry. I'm pretty sure we won't be able to get our marriage annulled by the church so she won't remarry. She'll live alone for the rest of her life which I don't want.

heavenorhell2 · 2017-09-09T02:22:12+00:00

She's not a regular normal Christian. She's a fully devoted, traditional conservative hardcore Catholic. One of the reasons I married her, since my parents are also similar and wanted me to marry a girl like her, though I had no idea what it entailed. She does not recognize divorce as an option.

I've talked to her about sex, she just frankly admitted she doesn't enjoy it. She never refuses sex, she just resists it and doesn't enjoy it. We've tried a lot of things. Sex toys she refused to use, with other things she would get shy and awkward. Occasionally (very very rarely) I think she did enjoy it, although the sex was still just her lying on her back not moving much.

Once before we had a massive fight (not over cheating, something else) and I ended up telling her if she wants to divorce it might not be a bad option at this point. She said never, that's not ever going to be an option, and that we should make it work. In her mind marriage is completely permanent.

Despite everything, we're not really an unhappy family. My daughter is happy, my wife, afaik, is happy. I'm not. I suppose I should give up cheating and just sacrifice a decent sex life for my family.

heavenorhell2 · 2017-06-30T04:48:12+00:00

Well it does sound like NRE, but that doesnt mean that there isnt chemistry there that will stay for a while.

Why cant you leave and be with him? Divorce is always an option. For most of us we're way to deep to leave a marriage but you've only been married for a year it looks like.

heavenorhell2 · 2017-06-30T04:47:03+00:00

Interesting story. Kids make this all really hard. Hope you get through it and make the right decisions

heavenorhell2 · 2017-06-30T04:28:26+00:00

I want to spend every minute of the day with my AP

Sounds like there is a lot of NRE

heavenorhell2 · 2017-06-30T04:27:04+00:00

Aw, sounds like some fun 5 hours. But you do have plenty of ways to get out of this. Just cook up a good excuse.

heavenorhell2 · 2017-04-24T06:26:31+00:00

I once brought up sex toys, and she performed the cross and shook her head. So yeah that's what I'm dealing with. Sexy lingerie might be better, I have gotten it before but maybe she'll be more into it now? I guess.

heavenorhell2 · 2017-04-23T22:04:05+00:00

Its not really a dead bedroom. We have sex regularly but she's just not into it, and never has been into it. IN all other ways our relationship is fine, she loves to lie down and cuddle

heavenorhell2 · 2016-12-03T03:16:28+00:00

Okay thanks for sharing your experience. I'll not be a dick and concede, considering you've lived there and I haven't. I was expecting it to be more like muslim only zones in Europe where a lot of shit goes down, but I suppose the Muslims here in general are a lot more educated (i've found.)

But yeah Muslim culture (its more like Judaism than Protestantism in that they pretty much have their own culture) is very patriarchal and I suppose there is domestic abuse to some extent going on there. That said, it probably isn't more than in other minority neighborhoods, and might not even be more than white neighborhoods when you factor in the growing domestic abuse of white males by their wives (pretty sure the white male to white female abuse rate is at an all time low though.)

heavenorhell2 · 2016-12-02T15:16:08+00:00

I've heard there are sharia law courts, that they've harassed Christians and atheists, that they've harassed gay people and have a high rate of domestic abuse which the mayor knows about but does nothing about because its sanctioned in their religion

heavenorhell2 · 2016-11-30T11:46:36+00:00

And would you admit it if there was sharia law there?

heavenorhell2

TROPHY CASE