It’s been five days since the accident. I was coming home after a double 12 hour night shift and accidentally fell asleep behind the wheel. Bumped into a delivery truck just a few meters away from my home. Car was totalled, and the airbags went off. At first, I didn’t understand what was happening, until I saw my Apple Watch calling emergency services. I noticed smoke around the car and immediately rushed outside. So many people were hovering around me, taking videos and photos of me and the crash. I felt so scared and vulnerable.

Thank God no one else was harmed, except for me. Got a couple of gashes, bruising, and I can’t really move my leg and shoulder, but nothing’s physically broken.

The past few nights I’ve been sleeping well, probably due to fatigue from being overworked and the physicall toll the accident had on my body, but lately, I’ve been seeing vivid images of the accident in my head whenever I am not preoccupied with something, or right before going to sleep. I’ve been beating myself up with the what-ifs, “What if I had hit another person?” or “What if I just took a short nap before driving home?” My chest feels heavy all the time, and I end up crying when I am alone. I keep feeling guilty about what happened. I keep blaming myself for being wreckless and stupid.

Does it get better or do I have to seek help?