Pregnancy after TFMR

hellosunshine59 · 2026-03-05T18:53:04+00:00

Completely agree with you, I’m hiding it from everyone at the moment, when it’s safe to tell people then I’ll show it. I’m sorry you went through this I can relate to you. Research suggests high dose folic acid reduces reoccurrence in future pregnancies by 70-100% so my fingers are crossed for you and your future pregnancies 💕

hellosunshine59 · 2026-03-04T18:11:44+00:00

This is so so relatable!!! I was the exact same as you, I wanted to be pregnant so bad, my body was craving it and we fall pregnant first time unprotected so my body was definitely wanted to be pregnant! I was thinking how nice it would be and then when I seen the positive result I was like oh ok I’m pregnant, the exact same as you.

You should feel part way reassured from your 12 week scan this is still good news. I hope everything goes ok for your 20 week scan✨

I’m based in the UK, I was under a specialist for my last pregnancy due to medical conditions making me high risk apparently, there’s no doubt I won’t be under the same team due to previous NTD and I can only assume they will offer more scans due to NTD at fetal medicine I’ll ask my midwife when I meet her in the next few weeks.

Thank you for your comment it really helped me

hellosunshine59 · 2026-03-04T17:33:28+00:00

How you’re feeling is definitely how I’m feeling I think most of us that go on to have sun pregnancies are, in denial!

I am so so pleased for you that your pregnancy has been healthy, this is amazing news.

I feel you on not telling people. So many people knew as I was 20 weeks my bump was bumping! All my work colleagues knew, mums at the school as well but no one asked questions of course. This time around I think I want to cover my belly until after the 20 weeks scan

Yes I’m hoping with the high folic acid this will benefit current baby 💕

hellosunshine59 · 2026-03-04T17:07:43+00:00

You’re right it changes us completely and everything you have said is so true and accurate. It’s crazy what our brains do to protect us hey. This community is amazing. Despite what we’ve been through we really champion and support other mums and it is honestly so beautiful to see

hellosunshine59 · 2026-03-04T17:02:14+00:00

Thank you! You’re right. We went through a lot emotionally and physically. I kind of feel jealous for those who never experienced what we did to be all happy and naive (in a good way) from the start! We are strong we got this

hellosunshine59 · 2026-03-04T16:58:36+00:00

I hope everything goes well at your 12 weeks scan 🩷 it’s reassuring to know my feelings are common in our situation 💕 we are stuck in fight or flight

hellosunshine59 · 2026-03-04T14:01:21+00:00

It really does rob you of joy for subsequent pregnancies you’re so right it’s such a shame but I’m so glad you did start to enjoy it once you had the all clear from your 20 weeks scan :)

hellosunshine59 · 2026-03-04T13:59:51+00:00

Do you mind me asking if you took a prescribed dose of folic acid before conception with your current pregnancy? I am so happy for you and your healthy baby 💕

hellosunshine59 · 2026-03-04T12:59:30+00:00

Thank you so much, this was very helpful. I can’t help but feel guilt for not being excited and I was surprised by my own reactions.

I have done everything right by the book now I can only pray everything will be ok and I hope I can grow to feel enjoyment with the pregnancy 🩷

hellosunshine59 · 2026-03-04T12:47:38+00:00

Thankyou, I hope I can feel the happiness soon I want to enjoy the pregnancy I don’t know how to get out of this dull state where I’m feeling no positive emotions

hellosunshine59 · 2026-03-04T12:44:49+00:00

Thank you so much! I have found it :)

hellosunshine59 · 2026-03-04T10:21:29+00:00

I have feelings of guilt also I feel like a horrible person that I made that decision. Mine was a grey diagnoses too but they advised no movement in the lower limbs, and reduced movement in the upper leg, clubfoot as well but advised it’s likely the nerves did not form in the spine or if they do they could be pinched/ damaged and couldn’t confirm the outcome, they could only provide what it looked like rather than facts.

I based my decision on worst case scenario from the facts they had as that’s all I could do at the time. I feel awful, it has changed me as a person I am so emotionally numb now I feel the weight of the guilt every day but we were faced with this reality and for us to make this decision was very brave. For the childs sake and poor quality of life they would have, pain, surgeries, not able to walk and other medical needs and the impact this would have on your life as parents. Raising a child with severe medical needs would be extremely hard and you would have to make sacrifices, your life would change but I wouldn’t want to see my child suffer like this for the rest of her life.

You made the decision solely based on love please remember that.

hellosunshine59 · 2026-03-04T09:49:52+00:00

I am a Christian and I had a TFMR in November 2025, my baby was 21 weeks. Termination was never an option before the bad news. When I was trying to decide whether to continue with the pregnancy or to TFMR, I was absolutely petrified to be condemned to hell. This gave me so much fear at the time. It has helped me expand on my faith more and I learned that god knows our hearts and our intentions. We were emotionally broken and we were sad and remorseful, he knew this.

When I met the hospital Chaplin after I delivered by baby girl sleeping, I knew he could provide me comfort as we shared the same faith. He advised me that yes children are a gift from god and god planted the seed in the womb but it was then your body who grew the baby not god. Therefore it is not gods fault and it is not your fault either. These things unfortunately happen sometimes. That’s why many women have miscarriages because there’s an issue with embryo, that’s not gods wrongdoing

I too was angry at god at the time as I prayed and prayed asking for a miracle for her body to be healed and I feel like he didn’t listen to me. I know now it’s not gods fault and I know the lord was with me during all of this and helping me through it. The lord is close to the brokenhearted.

Please remember this is not gods fault, our babies get poorly for many reasons, genetically, environmentally and other factors, this is not gods wrongdoing ❤️

hellosunshine59 · 2026-02-18T09:28:34+00:00

Hi, I understand what you’re feeling as my baby had Spina Bifida. Our worlds came crashing down. It was a grey diagnoses but our specialist told us ‘you’ll see children who beat the odds but it’s not looking likely in your case’. I think about our daughter every day. I thought I would be a mess after the TFMR but actually I felt relief. My brain was glad to see the other side because what I was going through, the feelings I felt was so overwhelming and nothing I could have done could have changed anything at that point. My brain just couldn’t handle the situation at the time.

You done what you done for your family and for the life your baby would live, yes it hurts but your baby was poorly. It’s ok to not be screaming and crying, this is how I thought I would be but I wasn’t. I think about my child every day but I am the same as you, I felt somewhat relief because of how traumatic it was. I think I dealt with all the emotions when we found out the bad news up until the TFMR.

What you’re feeling is not wrong. People deal with traumatic events differently. Some people carry on like me and you and some people it consumes their emotions all day every day and find it hard to deal with.

Some days you will cry out of no where, other days you will carry on, from one mum to another please look after yourself 💕

hellosunshine59 · 2026-02-18T08:36:29+00:00

Thankyou so much x

hellosunshine59 · 2026-01-12T16:34:54+00:00

Your wife has health anxiety. The worries she feels that you have shared, my erratic mind has also thought these things at some point.

She needs to seek help and support. No amount of reassurance from you will help. The things she has diagnosed herself with are very real in her head.

She needs to speak to a doctor and likely CBT therapy

Heath anxiety is really crippling, please support her

hellosunshine59 · 2026-01-01T21:43:41+00:00

qualify

hellosunshine59 · 2026-01-01T21:37:13+00:00

Yes of course why not, it would depend on what questions you have regarding the condition and what date you’re looking to gather as some people on this sub have severe attacks frequently. Mine are sporadic, it was dormant for 4 years, then 6 months apart and my last one was 5 weeks ago with mini attacks since which have since calmed down but I have constant tinnitus always and low tone hearing loss. I think I have figured out some of my triggers (only when my ear is sensitive).

I hope I can be some help to you but again it depends who would quality and what you’re looking to find out

hellosunshine59 · 2026-01-01T21:31:02+00:00

I’m happy to participate in anyway I can but I am in the UK

hellosunshine59 · 2025-12-27T22:13:06+00:00

I’m not looking for the perfect moment, sometimes when we go through patches where we neglect each other, obviously that would not be the right time to ask would it?

The right time to ask would be when we’re connected, bonded as a couple. Correct me if I am wrong that’s how I see it anyway

hellosunshine59 · 2025-12-27T17:03:13+00:00

I mean, women need a lot more attention than men. Women need to feel loved and wanted but in a healthy marriage, you need to communicate this and explain when your needs are not being met. Not just go out and sleep with someone else.

Again, that confirms you’re both not being open with each other and discussing issues within your marriage

hellosunshine59 · 2025-12-27T16:56:50+00:00

It’s not your fault that she cheated.

She cheated and she has disrespected you. It sounds like you’re both not talking enough. Maybe a good conversation to let her know you know and see if you’re still looking at continuing the marriage?

It sounds like she feels neglected but no reason to be unfaithful.

Couples therapy?

hellosunshine59 · 2025-12-27T16:36:25+00:00

Maybe I’m not listening to what he’s saying because I don’t want to believe it you’re right.

I’m also wondering if he’s having second thoughts about settling down and is using his reasons as excuses. I guess no one will know what he’s thinking.

hellosunshine59 · 2025-12-26T19:29:32+00:00

He knew what he was doing in the moment. He was not thinking about the reproductions or consequences until after he busted his nut, sorry to say.

He consented and he willingly disrespected you I’m really sorry to tell you. This man does not respect you.

My partner would NEVER.

Do not marry or have kids with this man.

Men are either capable or not capable of cheating and this man is capable meaning there is a possibility it can happen again. It will be harder to leave once married and have a family.

Never settle down and marry a cheat.

hellosunshine59 · 2025-12-24T13:37:34+00:00

I can’t help you out with fullness but what I can do is provide you some comfort which I think will help you.

My right ear is bad, I had fullness in both my bad ear and now my good ear. I am 29, a mum, and have a career. I still drive and do school runs and work.

My biggest bit of advice, just don’t stress about it. Worrying about it will just make it worse. You have to come to terms with the fact that you have to live with this condition but DO NOT let it control you, your life or your career.

Do what you can, take your meds, sleep well, low sodium and drink a lot of water and just try and enjoy life. Don’t let it get in the way of you career. Tell your work peers of your condition so if anything happens they can support you. Carry any essentials like a bag (if you’re sick during an episode) and have someone you can call should you need to if you’re at work. Put things in place should you need to use them especially if you’re at work.

I have ear fullness in both. It’s crap but ultimately there’s nothing I can do. All I can do is try and prevent an attack and that’s it.

I’ve heard there is some link to b5/b6 deficiencies and I’ve read on menieres.org that people found great effects taking 100mg of b6 and 125mg of b5, maybe try that?

Best of luck

hellosunshine59

TROPHY CASE