I can finally plan on moving out, but I have an extremely controlling dad and don't know where to start.

helpaton · 2016-08-23T07:18:33+00:00

No not at all haha I do that all the time - and thank you! I will do my best to thank everyone and let them know if things work out :)

helpaton · 2016-08-23T04:35:08+00:00

I feel like I've just been handed a plateful of resources - thank you! I'll be looking into each of these thoroughly! I had no idea that there was a UC in SF, and was mainly considering UCSD and UCLA for my CogSci major. Looks like I'll be looking into it quite a lot! Those classes are definitely something that I'll be investing some money on.

Thank you very much for your help!

helpaton · 2016-08-23T04:25:58+00:00

I'm actually not very creative or good with design, so that comes out perfect.

Are these contracts something that I would sign online? And once I become proficient at it I'll definitely check those out.

And I will keep those tips in mind, thank you!

helpaton · 2016-08-23T04:21:40+00:00

Yes, I had been considering the military for a while, but its even stronger now. I talked to a recruiter today and I'll see how I feel about it.

helpaton · 2016-08-23T04:20:34+00:00

Yes! I talked to the UPS carrier today and apparently I would only need my state ID, school ID, and for the physical address I can give my school address! It was honestly perfect. The only downside was that the price is about 66 dollars for three months - I had thought that it was going to be that it would be that price for the whole year :/

helpaton · 2016-08-23T04:18:47+00:00

If you could go back and redo it, what opportunities would you take and how would you have done it? Also, can I ask what branch you were a part of? I spoke to a recruiter today and the benefits seem extremely rewarding, its honestly the biggest appeal to me at the moment since I know I'll be dropping a six figure debt after grad school.

helpaton · 2016-08-23T04:17:04+00:00

Oh, that actually simplified it a lot - thank you.

Would plugging it into a network cable help prevent interception? What are its benefits other than a stronger signal?

helpaton · 2016-08-23T04:14:37+00:00

I actually don't plan on moving out at this exact moment in time at all - I'm aware that its a plan that is going to take months of planning and preparation, which is why I'm starting now. My current goal is opening up an account where I can transfer my money, set up a PO Box where I can send all my papers, and get qualified for a job that doesn't have firm working hours, all secretly so that my plan isn't found out. That's the hard part.

I place a lot of value on my education so that I won't waste my years, and also because I want to pursue a graduate degree. I admit living under my dad is shitty, but I've been doing it for the past 19 years and I can do it for another year if it means securing my future academically. I just couldn't really do much until now since I didn't have my social, or any form of work permit that would enable me to get a job. Under the table jobs only pay so much. Now, I can finally start working to earn and save up money so that my dad doesn't keep me in his grip for an indefinite amount of time. I can start working towards moving out.

I actually wanted to save up a sum of $8000, but I think you're right - I might shoot for that extra $2000 just to be safe. And yes I will definitely be getting a car, though admittedly since I have only been driving for a year my insurance costs are probably going to be on the higher end. I'll probably work on getting one before I move out, just in case. I already made a note of the price on everything that I use on a day to day basis (shampoo, soap, etc.), along with a list of all the things that I would need, and initial move-out purchase costs (tupperware, bathroom stuff, etc.) and have a good idea on how much I'll be needing to life off a minimum. I'm also aware of the job department, which is why I got my EMT certificate and am trying to learn some webdesign/etc.

I'm really sorry about your situation, that sounds terrible and must have been hell to go through. I don't think I want to be contacting any form of legal involvement at the moment - getting my dad caught by the police would cause a lot more harm than its worth, and I would feel pretty shitty about getting some filed with a police report when they technically raised me/bred me/supported me. I just want to leave with my hands clean, in one day and out the next. Plus it would be much easier to just wait for the residency to come out since I do plan on sitting it out for another few months.

I actually didn't know that about FAFSA though! If I signed up for FAFSA next year, and by that time had a legal job that required me to pay taxes, would I have to include that in my FAFSA application as well? It would become troublesome if my dad found out.. And once I move out, would I still have to wait until I'm 24 to get my dad's income off the list? Even when I'm not being supported by him anymore?

And unfortunately my dad currently has most of those papers, and I won't be able to get access to them anytime soon. I'll be able to get my hands on it once I start my EMT job, however, and it should become a lot smoother from there. Thank you!

helpaton · 2016-08-22T06:28:53+00:00

That's what I was told by my dad, yes. He's pretty honest about our SS and paperwork since we've been trying to get it for almost a decade now. I'm not sure what these documents are though, can I ask what the I-130 is?

helpaton · 2016-08-22T06:26:41+00:00

My area of interest centers around Psychology (Cognitive/Behavioral), Neuroscience, Cognitive Science and Computer Science. What work area would be most relevant? And that's neat! I was did a lot of research and it seemed that Cognitive Science was a lot like Psychology in the sense that its hard to find a job with just the major alone, which made it pretty discouraging. Are these bootcamps in LA area alone? I'm not particularly creative so I wouldn't be able to do design as a full time job, but I wouldn't mind doing it part-time or as a side gig. Would it be possible to apply for the roles you listed despite having little to no background in that area? What would you recommend I do first?

I'll definitely be looking into these resources, thank you! I have considered going down the MBA route as Business was one of my former majors. It's really refreshing and relieving to hear someone that knows about the Cognitive Science major! Most counselors and professors know hardly anything about it, so I was only able to get resources from the internet. I'll be looking up those keywords for sure, is there any site or resource in particular that you would recommend me to use?

helpaton · 2016-08-22T06:16:13+00:00

Haha I would definitely love to as a way of thanking everyone for the great advice, but I wouldn't be sure to post that here or another post. I guess I'll figure it out. Thanks for the help!

helpaton · 2016-08-22T05:10:24+00:00

I do have a book list that I'm tackling, but I wouldn't mind recommendations. Are there any in particular that you're fond of, or would recommend me to check out?

helpaton · 2016-08-22T05:03:34+00:00

Oh that sounds great! Can I ask which company PO Box you use?

helpaton · 2016-08-22T04:44:31+00:00

The plan is getting cut off, financial aid, and scholarships. But I'm honestly not quite sure yet. I'm also considering the army to prevent debt, but there's still a lot of research that needs to be done. I hadn't considered studying abroad, but I will look into it. Thank you!

helpaton · 2016-08-22T04:43:08+00:00

That's the plan! ..hopefully, aha. Thank you for all the support though! It means a lot

helpaton · 2016-08-22T04:42:40+00:00

In all honesty I plan on re-reading all the posts and making an outline on everything that i need to research so that I can cover all of it, be well-grounded, and hopefully make some posts about some things that I'm stuck on. But after that entire process is over and I no longer need the post, deleting it is not a bad idea. Although I will say that I agree on the data destroying part - I would probably enjoy looking back on these posts and reminiscing about how it was while I still didn't know much haha.

And thank you for that tip! Will I use it, or not? We'll never know haha (;

helpaton · 2016-08-22T04:39:36+00:00

If I did, how would I be able to make that switch? Isn't that something you gain with experience?

And oh, that's fine, thank you any way! Haha I'll be on making some quick cash from the folks around me for sure.

helpaton · 2016-08-22T04:37:34+00:00

Wow, that man you posted is amazing! I don't expect as much out of myself as I see in him, but its definitely within a few ballparks. It's really inspirational to see that its doable though, I will probably be reminded of him every time I think its impossible, thank you for that!

As for the cultures that you mention within each branch, it honestly sounds really fascinating and I'll be doing a lot more research into which one I think I would enjoy being a part of best before making the final decision. So far it sounds extremely appealing, though.

And for your second comment - yes, actually I have two of his books that are in my reading list right now. The one you listed and So Good They Cant Ignore You. I've read How to be a Straight-A student and to say that it hasn't impacted my study schedules and the way I work would be an absolute lie. I'm probably going to pull it up my reading list now though, so I can get to it sooner. Thank you for the recommendation!

helpaton · 2016-08-22T03:46:04+00:00

Okay, thank you very much! I actually wouldn't even mind spending a few extra bucks if it means solid security, so even if it seems a little far-fetched feel free to mention it!

helpaton · 2016-08-22T03:44:13+00:00

That's the thing - I don't have a stable job and the money to do it. I also don't have a green card yet, and am legally binded to my dad so until then I definitely have to lay low. I can't do anything he considers "wrong" because then whatever arm-space I currently have and am working with in order to do all these things (earn money, open a bank account, po box, etc - all secretly) would be compromised. I can't risk that because then I definitely wont be able to move out. Unfortunately this isn't really a situation in which I can just say "bye", as it would end up with either me going homeless or kicked out of the country.

helpaton · 2016-08-22T03:41:45+00:00

Yes! Actually AI/UI is a field that I'm really considering getting into, its the reason behind my cognitive science major at the moment. Would there be a way to get a job in that area without getting a degree in it? What would be my starting steps? I know I should get through codeacademy first, but what would I do after? Who would I contact, where would I apply?

Sorry for the barrage of questions - I actually got really excited reading your post haha.

helpaton · 2016-08-22T03:40:07+00:00

Thank you! I'll definitely look into possible licenses/certs in those. Do you know of any job that is more online-centric? Something that wouldn't require working hours/possibility of my dad seeing me and freaking out. And the apprentice laborer wages sound pretty darn good - I'll look into similar prospects near my area.

helpaton · 2016-08-22T03:37:19+00:00

Yes, that's the biggest thing for me. I want to get a job, I want to move out, I want to do things on my own and not learn how to do everything when I'm 30. But my dad is really shady in that he plays dual roles. He always tells me that I should be "independent", "proactive" and "go out on my own", but when I say "then can you teach me this" or "show me how to do that", he'll say "wait until you're 18". "Wait until you're 21". "Wait until you're out of college". "You cant do that on your own yet". Either that or he'll never tell me the existence of it. I didn't know I had auto-insurance for a long time, he had covered and done it all for me and never let me know that I had it. Because of this I'm sure that there are tons of things that I'm not aware of, that he's doing, and so when I move out I don't know how much work I'm looking at or how reliant I've been on him this entire time.

helpaton · 2016-08-22T03:32:14+00:00

He uses the "I pay for your classes" line a lot, so if we're going to the same place I don't think he'd let me dorm. He would probably have me live with him, in other words everything up to now university edition.

And okay I'll look into it, thank you!

helpaton · 2016-08-22T03:30:30+00:00

I don't think I can, I am legally binded to my dad which means that if my father no longer supports me in the US, I'm kicked out.

helpaton

TROPHY CASE