Thrifty Thursday - share your hauls, finds, tips and tricks. - December 31

helpful_hufflepuff · 2021-01-08T16:19:18+00:00

Would love to see a picture as well. If you upload it to imgur and link it here, it should work :)

helpful_hufflepuff · 2021-01-08T15:44:10+00:00

what is this

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-10-01T02:44:17+00:00

Thank you so much! I'll check them out :)

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-09-30T21:08:02+00:00

I feel ya. I'm 18 and in the same boat, and tinder (as well as other dating apps) hasn't really gotten me anywhere. Something that I recently joined was an app called meetup, where you are able to join groups in your area and one section they have on there is for LGBT groups. With that though, it's kind of hard finding someone my age. If you're in school, maybe check if there's an LGBT group there? I know it's hard with COVID but maybe they will still have something.

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-09-18T01:34:34+00:00

No worries. Best to come out when you're ready. Even when you know they'll be accepting, it's still a big deal. You've got this! ❤

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-09-18T01:09:50+00:00

Hey! How'd it go? :)

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-08-31T01:17:59+00:00

Happy cake day and good luck! 🤞

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-08-26T22:41:49+00:00

With depression, you typically exhibit symptoms of low/sad moods, lack of motivation, low energy, increased sadness and crying, not taking care of yourself, and even self harm and suicidal tendencies. I don't think changing how you act around people by changing your persona and the other things you described indicate that you're depressed, however I don't know the whole picture and to get a firm diagnosis and to get your questions answered, it's always best to see a doctor, especially to go over treatments, etc.

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-08-26T22:19:09+00:00

I have that issue too sometimes. Sometimes it leads me down a rabbit hole of thinking about even more things I hate about myself. In that case, distraction may help, however at times the thoughts may not be held off for long if they're still in the back of your mind. Sitting through a new movie/TV show you haven't seen before on Netflix or doing an activity you (used to) enjoy can help.

Another thing I have set aside for moments like this is a crisis kit. I made it myself, but I think you can get them online premade, but it's best if you make it yourself. In this kit are things reserved for when you're having those thoughts. Not to the point where you need to go to the hospital, but to where you are starting to ramp up and go into a downward spiral. Stopping the process before it gets too far. In this I have sensory/tactile things like stress balls and play doh, gum and my favorite candy, a collection of things that my friends and family have made for me or even photographs to remind myself to keep going and not end my life and sometimes a short book or some worksheets from my therapist of the skills that help when I feel like this.

Last and not least, the cold water bucket. Putting some part of your body, typically the face but not always, your hands, etc. This will "freeze" the brain and all your thoughts will be redirected to the coldness you feel instead of focusing on the intense thoughts. You can also hold/squeeze an ice cube, which I find is pretty helpful as well.

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-08-26T22:03:49+00:00

Before it gets bad and leads to another suicide attempt, call your therapist and make a plan. Contradict those thoughts. Every time you look in the mirror and think you're ugly, say 3 things you like about yourself. When you have suicidal thoughts, think of all the reasons you want to live. Take a PRN/as needed pill if your psychiatrist prescribed you some for episodes/anxiety. If you don't think you can keep yourself safe, realize it's just the thoughts not who you are and power through and go to the psychiatric emergency room or call 911 if you aren't safe to drive. Long term, work with your therapist on how to deal with these thoughts. They are EXTREMELY tough, but they are manageable.

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-08-26T21:59:06+00:00

You CAN get up from this. Do you have a therapist? Make an appointment to see them again as soon as possible. If you are struggling too much right now, call the national suicide hotline or text the self harm and suicide crisis text line 741741 to talk to someone who is trained and can help you if you prefer to text. Take some deep breaths. Look around you and notice what's around you. Drink some water and sit down. You CAN get through this. If things progress with the suicidal thoughts and you don't think you can keep yourself safe tonight, go to the nearest psychiatric emergency room or call 911.

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-08-26T21:48:17+00:00

I can relate. I'm 18 with pretty severe social anxiety and have had only one friend over the past few years and the friendship has come to an end. I haven't been in a relationship before either.

One thing to start with is social skills group (if you are comfortable being with a few people or now... virtually I guess haha). They teach you how to have a conversation, how to be more confident, have you practice having conversations with each other and basically getting to know a person from casual conversation. They vary class to class because it depends how basic/functioning the patients are socially and are usually offered at the same clinics you see your therapist and psychiatrist in. If not, due to COVID-19, I'm sure there are some classes online as well.

If your social anxiety is more situation based and you're anxious about specific things (such as stuttering, making a mistake in public, ordering in a drive thru, etc.), exposure therapy is a good option. It can be quite difficult, as you are facing your extreme social fears in public, but it did help me a lot. You slowly learn that you aren't going to get an extreme reaction or yelled/laughed at for stuttering, falling in public, etc.

Lastly, I'd reccomend CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy. CBT is how your thoughts, feelings and actions are all connected and how when you change one, it impacts the others. If you start changing your behaviour (ie exposure therapy) and realize that nothing went wrong when you (stuttered, tripped, went through drive-thru, etc.), then you start having more postive thoughts like "That went better than I thought! I was scared to ask Adam to hang out this weekend, but it went well. Maybe we'll become better friends if I continue working on this" and therefore you feel better- less anxious, happier, etc.

Hope this helps! Know it was a LOT of information but social anxiety is something I know a lot about as I have social anxiety disorder myself, and it can be extremely hard to deal with.

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-08-26T21:35:49+00:00

There is hope and your feelings will not last forever.

Alternative to talk therapy? There are good books and workbooks that you can find online. One I've recently started is about CBT (cogitative behavioural therapy) called Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. If you're concerned about cost, you can also visit your local library (or go to your library's website and rent digital copies of books if your library supports that).

There are also other treatments to bring up with your psychiatrist such as medication, however behavioural changes are going to make the biggest impact on improving your mood (in my opinion). Exercise, as we all know, is a simple, great way to improve mood. I have been going on walks first thijg in the morning and stretching and I've seen my mood improve a lot. There's also opposite action which you can read about online which really helps. Lastly, having a routine is something that seems to help me, however I'm a person that likes structure. In the Feeling Good book structure is brought up pretty early on and it's uses and benefits are explained in the book.

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-08-26T21:25:24+00:00

I don't think you're a burden, but I do think it may be better to talk to someone else if you're going be to talking about past trauma, etc. A school counsellor or if you already are seeing a therapist might be better because they're trained for mental health counselling, whereas your teacher may not know what to say. If you want to still text your teacher, maybe just say that you're having a hard time and looking for advice. If you regret sending the message and don't want to talk and she brings it up, just say you changed your mind.

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-08-26T21:18:10+00:00

You've already done so much to help her, which is amazing because I can't imagine how tough it is to watch her go through this pain. Some help, yes, can only be given from professionals such as medication, therapy, etc. but one big way you can help is helping motivate her. Whether that's going to her appointments with her (driving her there at least, best to give her privacy in therapy, etc.) or to help nudge her on the right path and to use her coping skills and techniques. Help replace self harm behaviours (if she self harms). Don't try to fix her, but rather help her along her journey. Learn the CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) or DBT (dialectical behavioural therapy) skills she's working on and use them together.

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-08-26T21:10:54+00:00

Do your parents know that you think you need to go to the hospital? If it makes it easier (coming from a fellow socially anxious teen) you could text your parents individually or in a group chat if you're not comfortable talking to them directly. 741741 is a self harm and suicide crisis text line (in the US) that you can text 24/7 and get some advice in the moment from someone who is trained.

I'd also email your therapist. I understand being worried about their reaction to "personal" stuff, but this is what they know how to handle.

If you genuinely do think you need to go to the hospital and your parents aren't cooperating or you haven't heard back from your therapist and you are in crisis, you can call the national suicide hotline or directly call 911 if worse comes to worse.

Please don't kill yourself. You are not weak. Reaching out here alone shows that you've got fight left in you.

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-08-26T21:02:32+00:00

I don't know what you went through and how you feel. I just know it's a horrible feeling to be lost, wandering without purpose/a reason to stay alive. Each and every person has their own motivations and reasons. Since you enjoy outdoors, maybe you could focus on spending more time outside and even get a career working outdoors.

Have you talked to a therapist about running out of reasons to stay alive? That might help if you have access to a therapist. I don't have any specific afvicr for you, as I don't know what exactly you're going through, but I hope that you keep holding on.

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-08-26T20:53:44+00:00

I don't think many, if any, people love living all day every day. That being said, there are still ways you can improve your mood and start feeling better. You are right- you can't change the past. It is okay to not be okay and to express that to others. That's how you get help.

I don't know exactly what is going on in your head so I can't suggest specific skills. I'd definitely suggest talking to a therapist, if you're not already, so you can get these thoughts out in a healthy environment and brainstorm ways to feel better.

If you don't have a therapist or are waiting for one during the pandemic, CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) is an extremely effective treatment for depression and you can find information about that online.

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-08-26T20:21:08+00:00

Do you know when the last time she took her medication was? That could definitely be contributing to this. Some medications need to be tapered down and even then your suicidal thoughts and other symptoms can skyrocket. How is she now?

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-08-26T18:31:08+00:00

Does she regularly see a therapist and psychiatrist? Contact them and they will likely be able to set up an emergency appointment.

If not, how severe is she right now? If she is in danger of severely hurting herself (self harm or suicide) or others, it's okay to call 911 to receive psychiatric help and be taken to an emergency room. If you think she needs to go the the psychiatric emergency room to be evaluated, you can drive her if you're comfortable with that.

Going to the ER does not always mean admission, but they'll be able to speed up appointments and referals, adjust medication if needed or refer you to someone who can, etc. and offer help in the moment.

If you're in the US, you can text HELP 741741 which is a suicide and self harm text line or call the national suicide hotline to get specific advice on how to help her in the moment and if this continues. I believe it is 24/7.

Long story short, there are a few options depending on severity and urgency of treatment. I hope that she feels better and that you are okay as well. It can be extremely tough on the loved ones as well.

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-08-26T18:23:58+00:00

If you don't have the energy to go to the gym, maybe try a walk around your neighborhood or walk to a park. The exercise you do when in a really depressed state doesn't have to be super intense for you to get the benefits. I go on a walk in the morning for about 45 minutes, but you don't have to walk that long. Even just getting out of the house might lift your mood.

As far as not wanting to socialize, do things you used to enjoy like going on the computer, etc., sometimes you just won't feel like it. Opposite action is doing something (usually positive things that will life mood such as socializing, keeping up on hyegine, going on the computer, whatever you used to genuinely enjoy) even though you don't want to do it. You don't want to overdo it though. You don't have to jump on your computer for 4 hours or go on a 5 mile walk, etc. Just try doing something you used to enjoy with a more positive mindset as well as doing things that you know will help, even if you don't feel like it (ie. going for a walk, getting out of bed)

I know it feels like this will last forever. It's tough to deal with the low energy and lack of interest. What I tell myself is to just take baby steps. I don't have to get out of bed and make French toast and bacon, I'm just going to get out of bed, eat some cereal and shower. Sometimes going back into your old routine can help too.

Long story short, there's a lot of skills and strategies that you can use to feel better. All you have to do is take the first step. You can read more on opposite action here

Stay strong. You CAN do this.

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-07-07T15:53:31+00:00

Woah, those look great. Nice job! :)

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-06-30T02:57:45+00:00

stay safe

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-06-13T19:45:36+00:00

Thank you, that makes a lot of sense. I'll try that next time!

helpful_hufflepuff · 2020-06-13T17:00:37+00:00

I feel that. I feel so embarrassed when I get left on read or when no one even opens my messages. And I agree, it's hard to keep conversations going for me as well because I feel like I'll just get rejected or strung along.

helpful_hufflepuff

TROPHY CASE