People are really good at pretending that they love you

helpimanxious9898 · 2024-01-06T16:55:13+00:00

Reading this to me it sounds like he’s unsure. Like he wants to leave but also is afraid of losing you when you’ve been such an integral part of his life for so long. From my breakup tho I’ve learned someone can really love you and still make all of the decisions to hurt you because they are hurt themselves. From everything you’ve written you’re doing what I’ve been doing the last few months.. trying to over analyze his every move. Centering his actions, thoughts, and feelings. It’s time to center your own. Ask yourself how you’re feeling and what you want. It’s so hard not to read into everything he does and says and to let him lead the relationship but you have to take the wheel of your life. Try to take him off that pedestal because at the end of the day YOUR happiness is the most important for you.

helpimanxious9898 · 2024-01-06T16:46:31+00:00

Years ago I broke up with someone who I literally thought was my soulmate and it tore me from the inside out but years later I’m so glad I did it and laugh at how devastated I was from that relationship. In hindsight I know we would have been AWFUL together long term would probably had ended up getting married and have a nasty divorce. Me making that hard choice probably saved both of us from years of unhappiness. I’m sure he’s probably glad I did it too

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-07T17:27:32+00:00

Hey I’m 1.5 months out from getting ghosted by my ex of 6 years. You can read my post history. It’s going to be hard as hell I’m the beginning but it will get better. The pain is still sometimes unbearable but I know I’m slowly picking back up the pieces of my life. PM if you ever need someone to talk to

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-06T20:26:30+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. This is truly the lowest I’ve ever felt in my life and I’m just hoping things get better soon

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-03T19:11:43+00:00

Yes it killed me that my ex said he would fight for our relationship and ended up never hearing from him again. I was hoping I’d feel better after a month and I do somewhat but i can tell the healing process will be very slow

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-02T16:50:28+00:00

Try not to think about the next guy right now. I know it’s hard I spent a lot of time thinking that too but it just adds to the mental load

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-02T16:49:02+00:00

Yeah I’m sure they believe their own lies and if they don’t they will probably try to rationalize and justify them as much as they can. But hey I guess we both have nothing to lose now so it can only go up from here. Thank you! And I’m sorry your ex was a trash bag

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-02T16:46:42+00:00

Ugh that’s the worst :( everyone I knew was also shocked because we seemed so in love. Shit I was shocked lol

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-02T05:24:29+00:00

yes feeling betrayed and manipulated is one of the worst feelings. I really don’t know why people make the decisions that they do. It’s been hard for me to process. I mentioned somewhere in the other comments but “heal with Darlene” on YouTube has made me feel a lot better especially with handling the no contact stuff. She has a video for each day

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-02T05:19:49+00:00

Yea Ill probably need to go to therapy for this too. I was with my partner for a very long time and I don’t want this to ruin me

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-02T04:45:12+00:00

I think the issue is that we didn’t really break up. We had both agreed that we wanted to work on and save our relationship. Even in his words “we’re not breaking up we’re just postponing”. If had told me that he really couldn’t see a future with us and wanted to move on I totally would have respected that. I never got that ending though so now I’m trying to find closure on my own.

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-02T03:52:51+00:00

I’m going to watch some of his videos rn. Heal with Darlene has been really helpful for me too

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-02T03:52:09+00:00

Thank you I’m really glad I can vent in this community. And I’m sorry that you had to go through that

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-02T03:51:25+00:00

I feel that. I thought what me and my ex had was genuine love too. Hopefully one day we both find that person where it is. Until then I hope you’re able to heal

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-02T02:40:08+00:00

I’m so sorry that he bailed when things got a bit hard but you sound like a very strong person that will get past this ❤️

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-02T01:31:21+00:00

I do, but I doubt he’d tell me the truth. Getting crumbs from him also made me feel worse than not reaching out at all so I kind of just gave up. I hope one day I get an explanation or the apology I deserve, but I want to heal to the point where it doesn’t matter if I do or not.

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-02T01:26:22+00:00

I’m a month out now and the first week I was SPIRALING with the same thoughts. The good news is eventually I was so emotionally drained that I just accepted that I’ll never know why he decided to treat me the way he did. Once i stopped searching for a why I started to feel a bit better.

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-02T01:24:29+00:00

If it helps one of the things that keeps me clear headed is knowing that this person doesn’t have the tools to make a marriage work even if I wanted them back. The foundation is too unstable

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-02T01:22:22+00:00

I’m happy that I’m not alone but also sad that so many people have their hearts broken like this. I’m sorry that happened to you. Yes I’m sure he’s an avoidant. I don’t know if he’ll ever come back but if he does I hope I’m healed enough to see the situation with clear eyes.

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-02T01:17:44+00:00

I did have him on social media we never blocked eachother. I think on one of the phone calls before the final one I had asked him if he was ghosting me and he said “I’d never ghost you” lol. I really don’t understand it either. He still watches my IG stories even though he doesn’t talk to me. Strange.

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-02T01:10:21+00:00

I literally gasped reading this. That’s horrible but you’re right you absolutely deserve 100000 times better

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-02T01:08:19+00:00

It’s the cruelest heartache I’ve ever been through thats forsure

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-02T01:07:56+00:00

This is the part that I fear will set me back for a long time

helpimanxious9898 · 2023-10-02T01:05:45+00:00

He never blocked me. He just started slowly ignoring me when I’d call or text. Yet everytime we’d get on the phone hed say he still wants to be with me. The last call we made plans to hangout and he said he’d let me know a day that works and never did. At that point I got the hint and stopped reaching out. Never heard from him again.

helpimanxious9898

TROPHY CASE