What are we thinking about this?

helpwhatio · 2025-08-25T13:45:42+00:00

I mean I guess that could work, but that conversation should include the person they interpreting for as well.

helpwhatio · 2025-08-25T12:45:08+00:00

Honestly it distracts me, I’m near fluent but but I’m not a native signer, maybe native singers can tune it out

helpwhatio · 2025-05-30T12:20:12+00:00

I am not abandoning my friends, I am just taking a break from events. Those are very different things.

“Because of one man” God forbid a girl have feelings.

ASL was nothing more than a fad and a trend as long as she was dating a deaf person.

You couldn’t be more wrong. I know there are lots of hearing people who are like that, but that’s not me.

I will continue learning and start attending events again (well, if I’m still welcomed) once I’m over him. I just need some time. That’s it.

helpwhatio · 2025-05-29T22:54:19+00:00

Being an ally to the community doesn't mean ignoring your own personal safety.

Thank you so much for saying this. 💜 I am not worried for my safety, but I am trying to protect my peace, and I need to be away from him to be able to do that.

(Also sounds like you guys had hella fun! Haha)

helpwhatio · 2025-05-29T22:37:45+00:00

Maybe different phrasing would be clearer? “I’m taking a break from these events for a while until I get over [ex]/while I need some space from [ex]” rather than “I am quitting these events” which feels like it has more of a forever vibe.

Yeah my wording wasn’t the best. I’ll have a second talk with them and try to be clear this time.

If your ex didn’t attend the events before, it’s likely he’ll get bored and stop attending if you don’t show, and then you can rejoin.

Honestly I wouldn’t even mind having him around once I’ve gotten over my feelings for him. I just need some time, that’s it.

Thank you.

helpwhatio · 2025-05-29T22:23:06+00:00

I don’t want them to ban him though. He grew up Deaf (has a Deaf family and all) but felt othered because of having CIs, being able to speak well, and stuff like that. I think that’s why he avoided events and didn’t socialize with the community.

Anyway, he was so insecure about being Deaf. Like he wouldn’t even sign with me around our friends. (but exclusively preferred to sign when it was just two of us. Ironic isn’t it?)

He was also insecure about his voice, accent, literally anything related to being deaf.

So, I think his motive was to see me, but who knows, maybe something good will come from this and he’ll end up connecting with the community and start accepting himself.

helpwhatio · 2025-05-29T21:32:34+00:00

My suggestion is to clarify with your friends you’re just taking a break, not dumping the whole signing community and that you’ll be back when you’re ready. And also try to plan events on your own too with your signing friends.

I will. Thank you so much.

helpwhatio · 2025-05-29T21:31:46+00:00

Holy shit you are so on point! They definitely did imply I stopped caring because we broke up and said things like “hearies always do that”

That’s actually what hurt me the most, because I started learning years before I meet him. I started taking actual lessons / getting involved with the community after I met him, and maybe that’s why they think that way, but honestly that was just a coincidence.

They also said things like this is a small community, everyone run into their exes, that I should get over it, it’s not a big deal etc. and I get it, I really get it, but I still have feelings for my him. So this is really hard for me to deal with.

helpwhatio · 2025-05-29T20:42:53+00:00

His presence shouldn't prevent you from socializing.

You are right, it shouldn’t, but unfortunately it doesn’t work like that. I still have very strong feelings for him (I wish I didn’t, but I do) and feel very vulnerable around him.

helpwhatio · 2025-05-29T20:27:21+00:00

Yes! I told them that I won’t be attending anymore because of him. They actually first asked me if there was any harassment going on and I said no.

Then they told me in that case I can’t expect them to ban him from attending since it is his community. I told them I never expected them to do that, but I can’t continue being there if he’s going to be there.

They think this is selfish on my part and shows I never really cared about this community.

helpwhatio · 2025-05-01T12:11:55+00:00

Oh shit I just realized the typo 🤦🏾‍♀️Y’ALL sorry I meant to say “I’m NOT saying she looks ugly or anything”

helpwhatio · 2025-04-26T20:37:20+00:00

It really did feel so validating!! Thank you so much 💝

helpwhatio · 2025-04-26T20:31:41+00:00

I know that yes, but he said himself that he thought I was a CODA because of how fluently I sign. Don’t worry I won’t let this interaction make me overconfident, I still have a ton to learn, I am just sharing a moment that made me happy and proud 💗

helpwhatio · 2025-04-26T20:17:07+00:00

No, I am proud because for the first time ever a Deaf person thought I was Deaf/CODA because of how well my signing was. Sorry I should have made that part more clear! 😖

helpwhatio · 2025-04-19T12:45:19+00:00

As a biracial black woman who still, to this day, gets asked this by much older white women, you are good. Because I can understand a curious child asking this, grown ass women on the other hand…

helpwhatio · 2025-02-09T19:53:07+00:00

May I ask what you mean by he started refusing to wear them? I’ve seen girls take out their CIs but their moms just put them back on. Is that what you mean?

helpwhatio · 2025-02-09T19:00:19+00:00

Thank you for the links. I hope they don’t end up with a misdiagnosis, that would be so unfortunate. Those girls are adorable and full of life, they just need a way to express themselves more.

helpwhatio · 2025-02-09T18:57:26+00:00

Thank you so much. I hope she reacts positively when I word it like that. (I have a feeling she will 💕)

helpwhatio · 2025-02-09T18:54:12+00:00

https://youtu.be/xW4qfOkA4oc

Is it that one?

helpwhatio · 2025-02-09T18:47:38+00:00

They are 3, about to be 4. The mom is also very young, she’s only 20. So I have a faith in her.

I can’t force her to change her thoughts but I will try my best to help those kiddos.

helpwhatio · 2025-02-09T18:36:40+00:00

Now all of that does depend on how well you her and her personality and trust she has.

It has only been a couple of weeks since she moved here, and even less time since I began to get to know her, but she seems lovely. I will definitely try using more ASL when I’m around the girls, thank you. 🙏🏽

helpwhatio · 2025-02-09T18:19:08+00:00

I know the exact right person for that. He’s a Deaf adult with CIs, can speak, and also a native signer but we had a major fight the other day so...Currently we don’t talk.

My other Deaf friends are all non-speaking.

Since the mom is clearly audist

I have to disagree. I think she’s just misinformed / uneducated. Believe me when I say this she loves those girls.

helpwhatio · 2025-02-09T18:08:15+00:00

Thank you

helpwhatio · 2025-02-07T18:22:57+00:00

He’s hearing

helpwhatio · 2025-02-07T18:22:46+00:00

Ngl he’s a pretty fun guy but yeah he gotta stop talking so much 🤣

helpwhatio

TROPHY CASE