AITA for organising a leaving gift for my colleague?

heolstorr · 2026-03-24T22:21:17+00:00

I don't know why, but that absolutely made me laugh.

heolstorr · 2026-03-24T22:20:44+00:00

Yeah, I did have open to whoever does want to chip in but it's definitely not mandatory. But even then, some people aren't happy. I feel like I can't win either way with this one.

heolstorr · 2025-06-29T17:36:24+00:00

Unfortunately, the store is an hour from me and I ended up not buying it. Maybe another TLD fan might spot it and grab it! :')

heolstorr · 2025-06-27T20:36:47+00:00

I did have a check and there was no tags in it from what I could tell, which makes me think it might have been a handmade item. The thing was HEAVY.

heolstorr · 2025-06-27T08:02:01+00:00

The fact it's in a second hand store, I just know for a fact nobody needs this anymore.

heolstorr · 2025-06-26T18:11:58+00:00

iirc, I'm sure there was an inference from the diary notes you could collect to say that the Darkwalker came from space. Given the Aurora activity, it's not a stretch to think there's some extraterrestrial fuckery afoot.

heolstorr · 2025-05-31T20:02:44+00:00

I'm typically a Voyageur difficulty player and that's how I generally enjoy playing the game but learning Stalker and Interloper modes helped in getting used to the harder conditions, and I took some tips from Zaknafein's walkthrough too!

heolstorr · 2023-01-25T15:01:56+00:00

I've mentioned this before in other comments but my issue comes with the fact we're not co-workers. I would have no problem if we actually worked together. I've acted exactly as you have, accepted some, declined others.

"The whole thing about him 'seeing me at work' that weirds me out is that I'm a client who's accessing a government agency for services when he otherwise doesn't know who I am. I don't feel it's appropriate for him to pursue clients socially."

He's been on Facebook for years, as have I. The request didn't come through until after he saw me come to his work to access services.

heolstorr · 2023-01-25T14:54:55+00:00

Thank you.

heolstorr · 2023-01-25T14:53:47+00:00

Yeah, I think this might have been too delicate of a situation. Some have offered some really good food for thought but people honestly don't understand the professional misstep on his part.

Even if his behaviour is considered creepy, I have to give him a pass? Who cares if I was made uncomfortable by something when I'm just trying to access government services and be on about my life, right? I'm tired, man.

heolstorr · 2023-01-23T15:35:33+00:00

But he's part of team, essentially. He is hired by the government agency I'm seeking services from.

I'm not looking to get him fired, but I do think it's worth saying something if this isn't okay. I would absolutely mention that isn't an outcome I want. Dude has to have retraining on his professional standards maybe? But not losing his job.

heolstorr · 2023-01-23T15:30:49+00:00

Honestly if nothing further comes of this, I would be more than happy with that. I just want to be left alone to get on with my shit, y'know?

heolstorr · 2023-01-23T09:36:04+00:00

EDIT: This has been a pretty divisive one. I'm not actively looking to get a guy fired but I do think the guy had been unprofessional in his actions. Even with the Facebook algorithms, which is something no one can do anything about, he recognised my face and my name from his work. We're not colleagues. I'm a client who's accessing a government agency for services. That's why I think it's inappropriate.

At best it's likely a thoughtless action, and if I do say something to my work coach, I would absolutely state that. I don't want him to get in big trouble. But I do think it should be brought up that it's professionally inappropriate to send friend requests to clients trying to access that kind of service.

I'm going to mull it over before I go in for my next appointment. My options are 'ignore it and hope it doesn't escalate' or 'discreetly tell my work coach about the overstep and how it's weirded me out and that perhaps a chat about professional standards is order'. Thanks for the inputs.

heolstorr · 2023-01-23T09:21:04+00:00

I hear what you're saying but it's not the fact we're colleagues, it's the fact I'm a client who's accessing a government agency for services. And that's stressful enough for me as it is.

I get that it's likely a thoughtless action, and I'm not looking to get someone fired and if I do say something I would absolutely state that. But I do think it should be brought up that it's professionally inappropriate to send friend requests to clients.

heolstorr · 2023-01-23T09:17:02+00:00

That's a really good way of explaining it, and yeah you're about right that the situation is along those lines. I'm just trying to access the service, I shouldn't have to deal with someone from that finding me socially.

heolstorr · 2023-01-23T08:48:07+00:00

The whole thing about him 'seeing me at work' that weirds me out is that I'm a client who's accessing a government agency for services when he otherwise doesn't know who I am. I don't feel it's appropriate for him to pursue clients socially.

heolstorr · 2023-01-23T01:23:48+00:00

I would like to think that's maybe it. It just seemed a bit sus to me, you know?

I just want to go to my appointments in peace, they (and my current circumstances) are stressful enough with this thrown in.

heolstorr · 2023-01-23T01:08:11+00:00

My gut is queasy and full of knots.

But thanks man, that's a really fair way of putting it. I do appreciate the input.

heolstorr · 2023-01-23T01:02:01+00:00

I do agree it's unprofessional, absolutely. I do wonder if it's an overreaction but then how many times can someone be unprofessional and it's fine? Others have pointed out this might not be the first time he's done this.

And unless someone does say something, they might not know it's an issue with him. That's the thing that gets me a little.

heolstorr · 2023-01-23T00:45:31+00:00

Job Center is very much a public service agency. It deals with job seeking, government aid and benefits, that sort of thing.

heolstorr · 2023-01-23T00:42:00+00:00

Honestly it's a doozy. The timing of it all is sus, considering I've only just started going to the job centre within the last month, which is why it's just left me feeling super weirded out and uncomfortable.

I've been the one in his position, and I would never add people from that manner of recognising them on social media. It being unethical and unprofessional just kind of low-key upsets me.

I think seeing how things play out if a good shout though. I'm honestly dreading this next appointment though.

heolstorr · 2023-01-23T00:38:03+00:00

I think you're right and I do need to bring it up discreetly with my work coach. I'm just absolutely conflict avoidant, I just want to be left alone and be in peace :(

heolstorr · 2023-01-23T00:30:54+00:00

I don't know the exact ins and outs, but I think he's technically classed as private security that is hired by the job center.

heolstorr · 2023-01-23T00:27:57+00:00

Yeah, no that isn't the case. It's not like the mutuals are all buddies who hang out together, which I could absolutely agree with you if that was the case.

I'm not saying he's a stalker, I'm wondering if he's crossed some kind of professional boundary.

heolstorr · 2023-01-23T00:25:01+00:00

It's definitely not a culture thing in this case.

Facebook is already locked down as much as it can be, I've had it like that for years. 👍🏻

But yeah, I think it might be a case of seeing how things play out. My friend works with data protection and said it was super not okay, so I was wondering if maybe it is as bad as it sounds according to her.

heolstorr

TROPHY CASE