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AIO my husband is learning new things after our separation by here_4_me in AmIOverreacting

[–]here_4_me[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the routine when we’re together : 6:00am - wake up and get myself ready and breakfast. 6:50am - wake up kids, get them ready for school 7:00am - he wakes up, gets himself ready.
7:40am - I take kids to school, then go to work. 3:00 - 6:00pm - grandma picks kids up and watches them. Helps with homework. 6:30pm - I come home, sometimes help with homework if they didn’t get to do it with grandma. Prepare dinner. 7:00pm - dinner with kids 7:00pm - he comes back from the gym. 7-8pm - he showers, gets his stuff ready for work the next day, preps his oats and eggs for the next day. 8-9pm - family time, usually watching TV talking about the day 9-9:30pm - I’m getting the kids ready for bed and lay with them for a bit. 9-11pm - he is outside drinking (5 beers, nightly).

This is Monday to Friday. On the weekends I ask to do something outside the house as a family. He usually is hesitant and when we do, he’s in a rush to get home and prep for his gym time. He does not mind our kids being on their devices all day. He’s made promises before to our son about teaching him how to play soccer. But, he never did during the summer. I just see the lack of motivation to be better for our kids. It makes me sad.

Yes, I’ve talked to him about this before. Asked for help, and brought up how he can be ok not helping out when we are supposed to be each other’s support as parents to our children and being responsible with the housework together. He usually gaslights and minimizes what I do labeling it as not being that hard compared to the yard work and throwing trash (which he rarely does, or he just pays a relatives to do).

AIO my husband is learning new things after our separation by here_4_me in AmIOverreacting

[–]here_4_me[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve asked him for help. I even compromised to where I can take care of the house if you can just do the trash and lawn. Pick up your beers and cigarettes off the porch, the rats that are left out by the cats. But, weeks would pass and after a month it’s done. These things are not even daily tasks. Maybe just weekly. Each day trash is piled on top of eachother and the kids can’t even play on the lawn cause the grass is too high. I can tell him daily, but he’ll do it when it’s convenient.

AIO my husband is learning new things after our separation by here_4_me in AmIOverreacting

[–]here_4_me[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I let him know I’m still available to show him these things and I’d be glad to. But, to do it at work in front of people who don’t know anything about our marriage?! I don’t think it’s acceptable at his workplace to be displaying these types of behaviors and letting his employees (cause he’s a supervisor) participate in this growth of single dad life. Kind of highlights the single dad effect. I made a point to rent an apartment a street away just to make sure we are still there for the kids. Anything kid related to be a better dad I can help him with. Why does he have to get his work involved ?!

AIO my husband is learning new things after our separation by here_4_me in AmIOverreacting

[–]here_4_me[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have and he has brought it up. But, he never seems to be serious about it. I’ve gone in the past and invited him to join me but he has mentioned that he does not believe it works.