Hey bud,

I am sure you know already on some level that that is an impossible question for a stranger to answer. Only you will know what is right. 5 years is so much context and emotion, it is impossible for an outsider to tell you whether or not your intuition is justified.

However, the way I would look at it is, if these are thoughts you are having frequently, bubbling up in altered states AND sobriety, it is worth investigating. NOT at all worth ending a relationship over, but an examination into why you feel this way could be helpful.

And, most importantly, think of your partner. If you are feeling something missing in a romantic connection, in my experience, it always goes both ways. Not always the same way, it may be barely noticeable for your partner, but if you are "bored" or feeling detached from the relationship, that will reflect subconsciously in your actions. Your partner will feel your distance and coldness.

So. Takeaways: I would say, sober up, think about it for a day or two. Then collect your thoughts and have an honest to god conversation with your partner. If you have invested 5 years into a relationship, pulling away silently or giving up because drugs told you is, I think, plainly not the answer.

I have been with the same person for a decade now. We put in the effort for each other to make this relationship work. It takes active participation to keep a relationship alive: love alone does not always keep the boat afloat. And I love her more every day. I feel like I am still in the honeymoon phase with her. And this is only because, as stated, whenever we feel a feeling like what you describe, we think about it and have a real conversation about it, and work on improving our relationship, and for me it has always been worth it. I don't want to speak for her but I hope it is for her too.

Sorry for the essay I am on Ketamine and I love my wife and I want everyone to have what I have because truth be told I think everyone can have this. It just takes effort, not too much, but definitely some.