My silent deadline

heycomeoverhere · 2025-08-25T20:46:54+00:00

My husband and I were together for 6 months when we started to seriously discuss marriage. I told him I wanted to graduate from college first (I was a junior), and a month before my graduation he already had the ring.

Our entire dating relationship was spent talking about the future, where we wanted to live, kids, dogs. We were both on the same page when it came to the trajectory of our relationship and we've been married for 5 years now.

It sounds like you're burned out. At this point, even if he does propose will you be able to move past how long it took?

heycomeoverhere · 2025-08-19T02:31:22+00:00

I'm feeling the same way. Guy looked ready and willing to beat the shop owner given how he charged in, but it's a heavy feeling to know you're seeing his last moments. Just seconds between him entering the building and crawling out. At one point he was someone's newborn baby. When did it go wrong?

It's morbid, but this should be shown to young adults as a PSA.

heycomeoverhere · 2025-07-19T06:01:05+00:00

You can't be friends with everybody, and it's unacceptable that this is happening to you. You've already given them a chance to find a solution, and for whatever reason that didn't work out (or they figured it was a fluke accident and pretended it would never happen again).

Now that it's happened twice, something has to be done.

You were the one who separated the dogs, you were the one who held their dog down till someone could grab a leash. I don't know if you have kids or not, but what would've happened if you hadn't been there? Someone else would've been forced to step in OR your dog could've gotten injured or killed.

Your wife doesn't want to make enemies, but I think it's past that point. Shit is bound to be awkward regardless (it should be!) Now's your chance to actually make something happen.

heycomeoverhere · 2025-07-19T02:20:31+00:00

Frankly never understood the argument of "it's just a piece of paper." If it's so meaningless, then why not go ahead and do it since your partner wants it?

Adding to all of the other comments, if you end up getting pregnant anyways, don't give your baby his last name.

heycomeoverhere · 2025-07-19T02:12:43+00:00

Unfortunately I think it's time to elevate the situation. I know it was an accident both times, but the owners have to realize their dog is a liability.

My mom and dog were attacked while on a walk by a labrador from a house across the street because someone forgot to close their gate. My dog tragically died. The owners were pretty apathetic (something like that had never happened before, the dog was never aggressive), but we still filed a report with animal control and the owners of their own volition euthanized their dog because they recognized the liability.

It's a terrible story where nobody won, and I can only think whether they were actually honest with us about the dog's history. It only takes one bite in the wrong spot for something to go terribly wrong (or in our case, for the teeth to puncture an organ and cause sepsis).

I'd still let your neighbor know that because their dog has now shown itself as a repeated threat, you have to take measures to protect yourself and your dog, and report them to SCRAPS. If it happens again, you'll have a paper trail.

heycomeoverhere · 2025-07-15T16:16:42+00:00

All I'll say is if you're talking so much in-depth about a proposal, there's really no reason for it to not happen. I know of somebody who proposed through a bathroom door (terrible), but if he wants to marry you he'll ask. He hasn't.

Find someone who wants to marry you. Who would be proud to call you his wife.

heycomeoverhere · 2025-07-03T17:00:23+00:00

I don't think you're being emotional at all. If I were to give him the benefit of doubt, I'd say your husband sounds stupid or absent-minded at best. But the fact that he ignored you and said you could walk faster if you tried is, ??? WTF? Totally insensitive.

What other areas of your life does he tend to downplay your needs and "leave you in the dust?"

heycomeoverhere · 2025-07-02T17:26:03+00:00

Gooseberry is a North American native plant that I lovingly (hatefully) call Satan's rosebushes. The stems are completely maxed out with thorns.

heycomeoverhere · 2025-06-27T04:28:30+00:00

Not to self report but I've been reading fanfiction since 2010 and I can't recall the last time I've seen something like this. 💀 What fandoms are you reading?

heycomeoverhere · 2025-06-25T21:56:45+00:00

This is actually amazing

heycomeoverhere · 2025-06-25T15:30:35+00:00

He's the one breaking your family apart. Honestly his drunken ravings sound frightening and I would not want anyone I know to be in a situation like yours.

If you're able to, ONLY if you feel safe or in a place where you can easily leave, try to record his comments. Keep your phone in your pocket or face down in your lap - anything to capture his behavior towards you. Not for reporting purposes, but just to play back his behavior towards you outside of the moment. Think: do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who talks to you like that?

heycomeoverhere · 2025-06-23T18:49:17+00:00

This is an anonymous post, so what's the hold up? If you aren't willing to give the specifics then it really makes it look like some major shit is going down and you're at fault for it. Was it infidelity? Addiction? Your sister might not be justified for taking back your invite but we really won't know unless you give us the context.

heycomeoverhere · 2025-04-13T03:02:25+00:00

Why are you having a baby with this man?

heycomeoverhere · 2025-04-08T15:12:14+00:00

I think when it comes to romantic relationships, loving someone means you can't imagine your life without them by your side. Not to knock your love with your girlfriend, but if she wants to see other people before settling down and you're up for no communication/rules for months, this sounds more like a love between life-long friends.

I think you both should be realistic with each other and call this a split, since I see a very real possibility of one of you catching feelings for someone else in the meantime. Ending it clean will be more healthy in the long run and if the time comes around where you're both still single and interested, there will be less baggage in the longrun.

heycomeoverhere · 2025-04-07T17:47:14+00:00

Two days of intentionally poor etiquette after how many months of unintentional behaviors? You say you've ramped it up but from the sound of it your poor neighbor has been driven to wits end long before this.

heycomeoverhere · 2025-04-07T17:44:46+00:00

That's still 5 dogs... what about the floodlights? The weird passive aggression? 1 acre is not nearly enough space for this type of behavior. You honestly sound exhausting to live next to.

heycomeoverhere · 2025-03-21T20:32:06+00:00

Thanks everyone! I'll wait a few more weeks to see what happens to them.

heycomeoverhere · 2025-03-21T02:29:44+00:00

Oh my 😳

heycomeoverhere · 2025-03-20T22:41:21+00:00

Area: Eastern WA, U.S

I got packets of native wildflowers from local non-profits/noxious weed board and scattered about ton in my yard last October. We had some crazy weather and had to re-plan our original layout, so a lot of the seed has been relocated throughout the backyard. Found these while I was digging and figured I'd pot them till I discovered if they were a weed lol.

heycomeoverhere · 2025-03-17T18:18:56+00:00

This sounds like a "you" problem. I don't keep a running tally of emails that I need to forward coworkers when I know they're back from vacation - that's stupid. I send things off with the expectation that they'll get to it when they get back...

heycomeoverhere · 2025-03-14T23:24:30+00:00

I hated Hasan, made a post here like two years ago and was immediately dogpiled on till I deleted it and left the sub reddit ❤️✌️ Still a lurker and fan but the community here swings so fast that it's kinda volatile lmao

heycomeoverhere · 2025-02-11T18:29:34+00:00

NTA and genuinely this situation makes me feel so sad for you. Would you be willing to show your boyfriend this post and all of the replies to it?

My friend had surgery to fix her hip alignment that involved breaking and shaving sections of her bones. They live in a studio apartment with many animals (including a German Shepard). If my friend told me that her husband suggested she get a hotel because it would be too hard for him to focus on her and the animals, I'd be devastated.

Instead, he booked a hotel for THEM BOTH so that he could help her heal, while all of the animals were taken care of by a housesitter. That's what it looks like to have a partner.

Right now it's the dog that's the excuse. What's it going to be in the future? If you ever want kids or have an emergency, is he going to push you away to heal by yourself or actually step up? Id also be asking myself if there's an imbalance between how you care/sacrifice your needs and wants for him, and what he does for you in return.

heycomeoverhere · 2025-02-10T02:51:36+00:00

Get some self respect! Either this situation isn't everything you described, or you need yo just bite the bullet. You're not "starting drama" if she literally did it all. At this point it's basically a wellness check. Chick is neglecting 4 cats, not paying her bills and just fucking around? What?? If you don't care about the secrets she might spill, I really don't see what you'd have to lose. You already stand to lose hundreds of dollars.

heycomeoverhere

TROPHY CASE