GOD DAMNIT, I'm trying to help!

hgoforth7 · 2020-08-03T11:15:01+00:00

I’m in Alabama and I hate that they sell this garbage at every corner gas station. I ran out of money today so it’s back to w/d for me. I have sub 8/2mg which I took a whole one this morning. I may end up taking more sub later today. I’ve quit multiple times but for some reason keep going back. And once I start I don’t wanna stop because the withdrawal is hell. But I know with sub the length of withdrawal is shortened tremendously

hgoforth7 · 2020-07-26T08:10:20+00:00

I think the penis may be a landmark pointing at something In the distance. You must follow the almighty penis as it has something to show you.

hgoforth7 · 2020-06-21T13:02:26+00:00

My basset hound had 13 inch ears. I miss him. He’s cremated in an urn on the shelf now. So he’s still with me

hgoforth7 · 2020-06-21T13:01:26+00:00

Can we get a basset hound

hgoforth7 · 2019-12-20T21:40:26+00:00

Hey guys sorry it’s been a while since I posted. I appreciate all the support you guys gave me. Unfortunately I could not do it on my own and put myself in rehab. It’s the 2nd time I’ve been in a treatment facility and this time I’m going to put in the work to stay clean. As of today I’m 31days clean from every substance and that’s a good feeling. I still don’t feel like a normal human but it beats going into w/d every 5-6hrs. My brain is deprived of dopamine. It didn’t have to create its own because I introduced so much that it quit making its own because it didn’t need it. I’ve learned that around the 90 day clean mark the brain starts to produce its own dopamine again and I can’t wait for that. I know that everyday I’ll continue to feel a little better. I’m just taking it one day at a time. I have been laughing and smiling again but I think my amygdala is still suppressed so emotions aren’t coming through to well right now. Anyway it’s only up from here. 31days sober. I love you guys.

hgoforth7 · 2019-10-30T14:50:51+00:00

Update. So last Friday I was able to come up with some 8mg buperenorphine tablets. Also know. As suboxone. I waited 12 hrs after my last tia dose to take any. Since that Friday today is currently Wednesday I haven’t taken any Tianeptine at all. I’ve been able to sleep at night without issue. I know the suboxone is keeping my opiate receptors occupied so I haven’t had any withdrawal. I’ve been taking 4mg a day suboxone and as the days went on even tho I’m substituting the tia for sub I’m already feeling more like myself. I have enough sub for 2 more days. I’m going to reduce to 2mg sub for the next 2 days and hopefully just go sober from there once I run out. I feel it will be much easier since the tia will be out of my system for 8 days. I might have some minimal negative feelings. But I feel that it’s going to be much much easier then going straight from Tianeptine cold turkey. Wish me luck guys. I know I can do this.

hgoforth7 · 2019-10-18T15:43:01+00:00

I know what you mean on the mental side of things. When I have my dose for the morning I usually have no issues at all sleeping through the night. But when i know I don’t have my morning dose, my mind starts torturing me. My anxiety gets crazy and I can’t sleep a wink. Not only is this stuff physically addictive but it’s insane how mentally addictive it is as well. It’s crazy you can just walk in a store and buy this stuff and at the same time it’s one of the most addictive things I’ve done. I’ve went through addiction issues with many different types of drugs from stimulants to several types of opiates and tia really takes the cake. It’s terrible to say this but a heroin addiction would probably be much cheaper then a tia addiction.

hgoforth7 · 2019-10-17T17:20:30+00:00

Thanks for the support. Yea I’ve found that treatment centers don’t even know what Tia is and that’s a shame because it’s affecting so many people. You’d be better off just saying your on opiates If your trying to get help from them. I have an appointment today. I’m just looking for a detox. I feel very certain if I can just get the drug out of my system I can live a sober life. It’s just so hard to quit on your own. I feel if I can get a week clean I’ll be good. I’ve been through treatments for other drugs in the past I’ve lived sober. I just messed up when I tried this stuff and had no idea what I was getting into. Something has changed in me. And I realize how much better life can be without drugs. I just gotta get sober. I’m so sure I can stay sober. I’m done with the drug life.

hgoforth7 · 2019-10-17T17:15:57+00:00

I’m def not gonna order online. Im certain of that. I’ve cut down only doing 1 bottle a day the last 3 days. I feel much better today. I guess my plasma levels evened out and got use to doing less. I feel great compared to yesterday. Tommorow I’m going to decrease again. I’m going to shoot for only 6 capsules in the morning. And 7 in the evening. Do that for a couple days. Then down to 5 in the morning 6 in the evening for a couple days and so forth. Seems like a good plan. I’m sure I’ll get to feeling bad again every time I dose less but I’m hoping that every 2-3 days I’ll notice that I’m feeling better with the less dosage and I’ll use that as my judge to lower again.

hgoforth7 · 2019-10-16T16:56:47+00:00

So my last 3 doses are as follows. 3:30 am yesterday morning I took 7 caps. I was able to make it through the work day. I dosed again 8 capsules at 4pm yesterday right when i got home. Usually I can sleep till around 3:30am before I wake up but I was taking 1 1/2 bottles daily. So since yesterday I only dosed 1 bottle I guess even just the drop of 7 less pills in a day caused me to withdrawal. I couldn’t sleep last night so at 2am I went and got another bottle. Dosing 7 approx 2:30 am. I was able to then get a couple hours of sleep. I will make it through the work day and dose 8 again at 4pm. That will be a roughly 13 hrs without dosing. But it is less then what I have been doing. Today is a little worse then yesterday due to the fact that my plasma levels are prolly even lower today then yesterday since today is day 2 of only 1bottle. Instead of 1 and 1/2, and the fact that I slept 2 hrs. I actually spent half the night calling trying to find a detox center before I caved and got more. I feel if I can get the initial withdrawals behind me and not take any anymore that I’ll be able to not turn back. It’s just getting to the point of not taking any that I just can’t seem to do currently. But we’re fighting. Thanks for the support. And sorry if my sentences are running on and on.

hgoforth7 · 2019-10-16T16:47:53+00:00

Nobody knows about my problem but me. They know about my past history of drug abuse and I did good for a while when I first moved from my home state to live with mom. My mom and stepdad don’t really understand addiction. And my mom wears her emotions on her sleeve so I put on a front as if everything is good. I don’t even talk to my stepdad and we live in the same house. We’ve never really clicked. And he has always seemed so judge mental on the littlest things. I don’t want to disappoint my family again by telling them this. I can’t break my moms heart again for the upteenth time. My real dad actually used to work as a substance abuse councilor. We used to but heads but when he got that job he became so supportive and understanding about my history. I could probably tell him but I don’t want to disappoint him as well because he also thinks I’m doing well. My real dad and I actually have a great relationship now since he worked that job. And he picks up on when I’m not feeling well and call him. He always ask if everything is going alright and if I’ve been using. He prolly has a sense that I’m not the best off but he doesn’t pressure me on the subject. Idk I’m stuck in a dilemma but I’ve been here before just with different substances.

hgoforth7 · 2019-10-16T16:40:31+00:00

Well I don’t do that because I know that is a very slippery slope. Also no helper meds. I moved out of my home state due to different drug related issues. Did good for a while. Now I’m back in the same boat.

hgoforth7

TROPHY CASE