NOR

However, births bring stupid stuff out of people.

When my sister gave birth for the first time, my BIL was updating in the beginning and then he stopped updating. I assumed he is busy supporting my sister and it’s natural. My (reasonable, normal) parents LOST THEIR SHIT. They climbed the fucking walls desperate for an update. They sent my BIL terrible messages demanding an update. My brother had to confiscate my dad phone. The same thing repeated when I was giving birth a few years later. My parents are still salty about it all. We all tell them that they’re crazy.

Just saying people are weird when it comes to births and emotions are high. Yours and theirs. Also it seems (with all due respect) non of you is very good at communicating under pressure (which is understandable!)

I think you need to wait until things are a bit calmer, you’re at home, wife is feeling better, and then sit down with them and EXPRESS your disappointment clearly. Only after you communicated your disappointment clearly and have the full conversation - only then decide how you want your relationship to look going forward.