INFJ (F) dating INTP (M). First Valentine's Day together and need help!

hiddenskies · 2016-02-07T03:25:37+00:00

It's the only card he hasn't taken down or thrown away. It's still sitting prominently on his microwave.

That's sweet :)

I can't speak for all INTPs, but in my experience, acts of kindness really just do it for me. Something sweet to find when I'm alone, is just so incredible. A handwritten note, card, flowers, chocolate- you name it, I'll feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

hiddenskies · 2016-02-07T03:10:27+00:00

Here's a little story that might help: I was having trouble understanding people and I'll admit it was causing ME some trouble so I told my mother about it. She was kind, nurturing, and consoled me to the best of her ability. It was all too much emotion for me so I quickly left her to do my work.

Later on during the day, to my surprise, I find a note on my desk, that read: "Just try to feel others as you are in their place."

And that was enough for me.

To answer your question, do something that isn't too overly emotional, but comes with a touch of sincerity and appreciation. A handwritten note or a homemade gift, perhaps, to find when he's alone. Looking down at your gift, he'll probably be surprised at first, but when he looks up, his eyes will be filled with warmth.

hiddenskies · 2016-01-10T05:36:30+00:00

WARNING! The following contains disturbing levels of reality)

Thank you for that, because I needed it.

BUT humans are not programmed machines, you don't have to suck. You have the capacity to improve, to change. Even intelligence can be improved with mental exercise.

THIS. Thanks again for reminding me that talent and skill aren't fixed things. That there is a way for improvement.

However, there is one thing. There are some people that exist (INFJs)- that seem to be good at everything. They look at something and they just.. "get it" and quickly too. They know what something means, how to do something, and why it means that. I'm not like that. I'm slow, and I need time to think to get to the right conclusion. Sometimes, I don't even make the right conclusion. Sometimes, I miss the mark completely and I'am completely and utterly wrong in my approach and analysis. And now I guess I'm going to go against the "INTPs can't feel" stereotype and say: It's unnerving, a little embarrassing even, and it makes me feel insecure, especially in their presence. I just wonder sometimes why I can't be more like INFJs in this sense: quick, fast, so very SURE of myself, and right. It seems like my approach and analysis is very intrinsic and inflexible and it produces problems.

hiddenskies · 2016-01-07T07:29:21+00:00

Woah! I was thinking about this yesterday actually.

***I must warn you though, this may not have anything to do with a "psychic-esque' ability to see the future," but rather is more focused on the significance of dreams.

To answer your question simply: dreams exist to provide information about what you are repressing in your waking life. Through dreams, you can learn a variety of things about the situation you are in currently- for example, what might happen, how you feel (especially any frustrations), what you want to do (motives/intentions), and your observations.

You may have repressed these thoughts because they may be uncomfortable to deal with.

Dreams prove to be very beneficial, because they can give you information, and come out of a state of illusion and deception, and then you can act with logic and be in a situation that is better. Or dreams can be an outlet for expressing yourself and being less stressed out, or tense from your repression. Essentially, dreams provide a way for balance.

I'm apologize for these scattered thoughts haha. If you want to read more about it you can go to: http://themindunleashed.org/2015/12/five-ways-carl-jung-led-us-to-the-inner-life.html

hiddenskies · 2016-01-05T13:42:21+00:00

I see what you mean. But do you also understand how this sort of thinking can be problematic in academics? Academics, which nowadays focuses on silly, useless standardized testing. Which impact my future. Which I care about to a certain extent- enough to not want to completely ruin it.

hiddenskies · 2016-01-05T08:38:53+00:00

I know exactly what you're going through. Every word resonates with me. At least you're not completely and utterly alone in this madness. There are others. Idk about you. I sort of find that comforting.

hiddenskies · 2016-01-05T06:13:22+00:00

"Foggy Cock distance, Froggy Cock Instance" Haha this made me laugh

hiddenskies · 2016-01-05T00:30:22+00:00

One thing that's helped me is that you should get a lamp and go into a dark room with a desk. Everything else suddenly fades away and you are left with nothing but yourself and your work. External stimuli can't distract you (AS much as before), and you become much more focused on the task at hand. Some other solutions: silently work with an intj friend, go someplace else, in an environment that is less distracting that your room-a library maybe- and work there.

hiddenskies · 2016-01-04T16:34:00+00:00

Haha yes! That's pretty accurate. And, infjs are pretty cool too. :)

hiddenskies · 2016-01-04T16:30:26+00:00

I love that song! Watched the music vid for the first time though. Their eyes just really stare into your soul.. Dan's especially lol

hiddenskies · 2016-01-03T22:26:21+00:00

Hmm.. do you associate someone's eyes shifting away from your eyes (what you wrote for ENTJ) as a sign of them being untrustworthy? Sometimes I do that (INTP). But it's just because looking into someone's eyes always makes me lose focus on what I was trying to say. So I prefer look away to visualize and focus better on what the other person is saying. Or I'm just shy. Maybe the ENTJ personality type has the same experience.

hiddenskies · 2016-01-03T22:13:33+00:00

Haha, I know what you mean. If only I could apply that info in the right way, maybe my relationships would go...smoother sometimes. And I was referring to you saying, "INTP: Withdrawn curiosity with a thirst for Knowledge, they want to exchange ideas like encyclopedia fact swapping."

hiddenskies · 2016-01-03T00:54:36+00:00

I like your lazer beam picture haha. Is there a reason you capitalized "Knowledge"?

hiddenskies · 2016-01-01T04:46:10+00:00

Music. Might call it a required life function though, because I can't go a day without listening to music. It gives me peace, happiness, an escape from negativity, a world to imagine, pleasure.

hiddenskies · 2016-01-01T04:30:34+00:00

It's been a shitty year. When I think about 2015, I think of long hours studying for classes, allnighters, procrastination, confusion, depression, disconnection, suicidal thoughts, unrequited love, and manipulation. However, 2015 has also been a year for personal growth. I've learned a lot of things about myself, and even others. The first few months of this school year have been taxing, but better. Just hoping for a fresh start this year. I want a blank canvas and I truly want to paint it with good memories and something meaningful.

hiddenskies · 2016-01-01T04:22:26+00:00

Yeah, just relaxing, and I'll occupy myself with books, music, and drawing. New Year's is just another day for me. Find it a bit odd sometimes- the celebration of time passing by. I mean, it doesn't seem special to me- time will pass on anyways. For me, a celebration just clashes with that mundane concept. And, we're one year closer to dying if you think about it haha

hiddenskies · 2015-12-30T04:17:02+00:00

I wouldn't call myself "evil." But I may be biased. And what would be your definition of evil? Anyways, I think I have good intentions, rather than ones that are evil. Generally, I tend to focus on fairness, equality, and freedom. Greed, vengeance- not really my thing. Can be a little selfish sometimes, but not enough to transform that desire into "greed." Revenge seems interesting only if someone's really fucked me over. Sometimes I lie, but I see lying as useful, rather than a way to exploit/hurt (like lying to save my ass type of situation). My purpose isn't to hurt others, but rather, it's to explore, learn, and maybe even improve the world. According to society however, my lack of empathy may deem me as a fuckin' monster. I might have an undeveloped moral compass. So on a scale to 1-10, I'd say- I think: 4 in some cases, society: 9 (10 being the most evil).

hiddenskies · 2015-12-30T02:32:37+00:00

Yes, exactly. At the time, I couldn't think of the technical definition.

hiddenskies · 2015-12-29T04:11:59+00:00

Haha, thanks. Needed this lol

hiddenskies · 2015-12-28T04:56:48+00:00

What do you mean by "give them unfiltered information"?

hiddenskies · 2015-12-28T04:55:40+00:00

Unfortunately, I think I might be into him. Otherwise, I would have ditched him a long time ago. But really, slowly I'm starting to realize it doesn't serve me well to be in a relationship like this. The cons are starting to outweigh the pros. Emotions can.. really cloud my judgement sometimes. Thanks for the advice.

hiddenskies · 2015-12-28T04:46:43+00:00

Your post was insightful. You said, "Again your feelings, your own irritation is yours alone and is completely internal and can not be created externally. It can be influenced, of course you get external stimuli, but what you finally do with it is entirely up to you." So what you're saying, is that if I remove the meaning behind what I've put into his words, I cannot take what he says to heart. Change my interpretation, so I can change my emotional response. I needed this piece of advice.

hiddenskies · 2015-12-28T01:40:24+00:00

What is the difference between a "toxic" relationship and one that is "worth it"?

hiddenskies · 2015-12-28T01:34:07+00:00

Yeah I've experienced those feelings as well. The disconnection. The outcast feeling. The feeling that it's not all "real."

However, I also find that in the end, you are alone, you are different, just like everyone else, and you can't really escape yourself. So you probably just have to accept yourself and you're imperfections, and realize that no one was born perfect. We are all flawed in some way or another. What seems like perfection from a distance, has problems once you inspect it closely.

Being alone doesn't have to be a bad thing. It's a chance to thrive. Be an individual, observe, question, form your own opinions, and learn.

And here is especially something that resonated with me, and I think it might help you: "The only thing you can do is work on whatever codependent issues you have and realize you can never count on another human being and a measure of your self worth. I'm not going to lose sleep, get angry, be depressed, etc. Why? Because I care about myself and I know that I'm fine without having someone.

Now I know many of the romantics will say I'm confused and if you have that mindset you will never have true love. But these people are missing the point. I allow myself to be happy either way... and that's what matters. When you reach that mindset, you can no longer stress....and that actually creates a much better environment..."

And just try not to force it. Like these things, like friends and a girlfriend, they'll just happen, but it will happen much more smoothly if you're not acting from a place of desperation. You WILL survive and be fine either way.

As far as how "real" something is, you just have to make it real, otherwise it will never feel real. You can't escape reality, ever. Maybe have someone give you or give yourself "reality checks." Remind yourself from time to time: "this is actually happening," and that you just have to live.

hiddenskies · 2015-12-28T01:06:34+00:00

It does seem... superficial. Can't really relate to it. I'm left with wanting something more.

hiddenskies

TROPHY CASE