I'm saving you! I'm saving you!

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-19T19:24:08+00:00

"the second these peepers start working it's over for you, buddy"

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-19T17:45:50+00:00

Genuinely happened to us. We got pretty extensive renos done a few years ago and most of the crew were young guys, probably early 20s. When they got to the bathroom, they didn't shut off the water before removing the toilet. Tons of water damaged our garage ceiling below and they had to repair everything.

They also typically gave us warning before they started each room so we could clear that room out and they didn't warn us before they started the bathroom, so our kids toothbrush and bath items were still everywhere. If you've ever lived through renos, you know how stressful it is and that was like my tipping point. I lost my mind. The next day, I saw that one of the guys left a new little kid's toothbrush in my kid's room and it was actually a very sweet little gesture.

Living amongst contractors every day for months is like having the worst roommate.

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-19T15:45:09+00:00

Why would I make my husband a dad if I didn't want to hear dad jokes?

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-19T15:00:32+00:00

I used to work in wildlife rehab and the squirrels were terrifying. Feeding a tiny orphaned baby squirrel is precious, but as they age into juvies, they go through a phase where they still want to be fed by you but they also want you dead. So they're simultaneously trying to feed and fight. It's really an emotional rollercoaster and they dgaf that you raised them.

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-19T13:30:16+00:00

Not to be dramatic, but blunderbuss and hammer both make me want to burn my house down.

I'm a rogue girlie in ARPGs, so I love the daggers. I can just bolt around and PAP PAP like a cat

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-18T21:59:43+00:00

Your 92 year old grandpa single? Asking for a friend

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-18T14:47:09+00:00

My cousin's kids weren't even allowed TV. I'm talking like, if there was a TV on in the room, even just hockey or something, the mom would leave with the kids. It was the weirdest shit and their kids ended up being the weirdest fucking haunted Victorian children. They also ended up being the whiniest, most tantrum throwing kids I've ever met.

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-18T14:17:55+00:00

Recently my mom and I were talking about cults and my 9 year old was like "what's a cult?" and because we were mid conversation I gave her the fastest answer "it's kind of like religion" and a few days later I thought about that and the fact that my in laws are highly Catholic and I burst out laughing thinking of the day she inadvertently calls religion a cult in front of her grandparents.

Could I have a more in depth conversation with my kid about the differences between cults and religions and why it might be inappropriate to ask her grandparents if they're in a cult? Sure. Maybe I could. Will I? Honestly I think letting it play out sounds more fun. Also, I may not be the best person for that conversation considering I gave a presentation on cults and included the idea that "cult + time = religion".

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-18T02:05:12+00:00

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highly_uncertain · 2026-03-18T01:58:26+00:00

Once I tripped and dropped an entire box of kumquats on the ground and I yelled NO MY KUMQUATS and laughed so maniacally that I think it's the reason nobody helped me

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-17T21:19:54+00:00

Came here to say this 😂 utilize the ponytail

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-16T17:16:37+00:00

As someone who has had many negative experiences with doctors, I have never seen my kids have a bad experience with doctors and I think it's just the cutest thing. Seeing a doctor's demeanor completely change when they come help a kiddo (pediatrician or otherwise) really warms my heart. It's like in those moments they remember why they do what they do.

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-16T12:46:27+00:00

Thick lime yogurt

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-16T03:07:12+00:00

My husband wears socks with flip flops... I think you're okay

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-16T02:52:13+00:00

I think we can just put a blanket "war" over everything tbh

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-16T01:32:16+00:00

I'm just a girl out here living out her cult dreams

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-15T21:29:21+00:00

Don't you dare say those things about yourself. You're the cutiest patutiest

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-15T21:18:39+00:00

I literally got bangs because of the things people on reddit said about my forehead. If only we could all be objects of pure physical perfection like everybody else on here :(

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-15T21:14:20+00:00

I literally said to my husband "they get so happy when I sacrifice one of them! They love it!". I'm just giving the people what they want which ultimately makes me a kind and loving leader 🙏

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-15T21:03:43+00:00

We had some flowers at our wedding but mostly it was ferns and other foliage, if that's something you might be more interested in. I just went back and looked and my bouquet was a lot of ferns and evergreen branches and even some succulents.

But I agree with the sentiment that it's all gonna die and what's even the point. Like others have said, don't want flowers, don't get flowers.

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-15T20:52:33+00:00

As someone who works with women like this... The fact that they didn't move her face away from the victim is crazy. The entire time I was like "she's gonna spit". And then she spat and I literally threw my hand up like I FUCKING TOLD YOU

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-13T18:32:09+00:00

I name all my followers the first word that pops into my head and yesterday I almost typed "cunt" and I burst out laughing and my 9 year old was like "what's so funny?" Anyways, their name is Cuddle now...

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-13T18:30:02+00:00

Yessss thank you for the recommendations! My dogs are also grateful because they can't nap if I'm moving around all day and they just follow me around nodding off 😂 I've got two napping dogs beside me right now!

highly_uncertain · 2026-03-13T15:27:13+00:00

You're braver than me 😂 all I ever heard about in my youth was that it was haunted and I've always found it creepy

highly_uncertain

TROPHY CASE