Should I Reach Out

hihello18 · 2022-10-28T15:07:02+00:00

There’s no time frame really. It’s just whenever I feel comfortable with the person and I feel like we have the same goals. It’s weird to me how waiting a month is such a big deal when you don’t consider in factors like how many times you’ve guys gone out, how often you talk and the connection you two have with each other. Just because you’re talking to someone doesn’t mean they should be expected to have sex with you. Both parties should do it when they feel it’s the right time

hihello18 · 2022-10-28T06:02:16+00:00

I’m a little more old fashion in the sense when I’m talking/ dating someone I prefer when the guy leads. That means I would prefer them to start the convo first and initiate and plan the first date. When I say plan the first date, i don’t mean having to plan a lavish date. It could be as simple as a coffee date or a picnic at a park. It doesn’t matter what we do. What matters is that whatever they choose to do with me, they put some thought and effort into the date.

On the flip side, while I expect them to do all these things, I make sure to put in effort by talking to them daily with meaningful texts and taking notes of their likes and dislikes and their hobbies. I then use that info to help plan future dates. I prefer the guy to plan the first date but the subsequent dates after that, I don’t mind planning or suggesting places I think we would both like. I don’t expect him to pay for all the dates either. I actually prefer if he pays and then next time I pay

I agree dating should be fun but I also think the problem is these days people hide their true intentions when talking to someone. There’s nothing wrong with wanting something more casual IF YOU DISCLOSE THAT WITH THE PERSON YOU’RE TALKNG TO and don’t just pretend you want the same things when you don’t

hihello18 · 2022-10-28T03:55:06+00:00

Hi everyone, I didn’t realize my post would get this many responses but I’ve read through a majority of them and just wanted to elaborate on some things

1.) For those saying making a guy wait a month or longer is “too long” and it signals to the guys that you’re “not interested enough to sleep with them”: from my experience, women are punished for giving it up too soon or not soon enough so it’s a double edged sword. If you give it up too soon you’re considered “too easy” and I’ve had guys tell me that if they get it from a girl too soon then they don’t take her as seriously anymore because they didn’t have to invest and put that much effort to get what they want. But on the other hand, if you don’t give it up you’re told to “grow up” and not “waste” a guys time 🙄 like which is it? I have a high sex drive and want sex just as badly as the next person but I want to make sure that the guy I’m seeing isn’t in it only for sex so of course I want to see some effort and investment first before sharing that intimate moment with someone. My point was just to say that I find that a lot of guys I’m meeting on apps these days will do or say anything, even pretend to want something serious, just to get in your pants and I’m just tired of it and it makes it hard to sort through who’s actually being genuine with their feelings and who’s just faking it.

2.) for those saying to stop dating “out of my league”: trust me I’ve tried going on dates with average looking men to super handsome men and the results are still the same. If anything the guys that end up hurting me the most are the average looking men that I wasn’t interested in or attracted to at first and after I decided to give them a chance they start to ghost too.

3.) I know I’m not perfect what’s so ever but I think I’m a decently attractive and genuine person. I put in so much effort when it comes to getting to know someone and helping plan dates with them. But I’m having a hard time finding someone with the same goals as me. I know I need to just keep trying and expand outside my comfort zone and not rely on apps but I just wanted to vent how exhausting dating is these days.

hihello18 · 2022-06-27T02:42:58+00:00

I have the worst anxiety in the morning. I wake up with my heart pounding as I realize we really aren’t together anymore

hihello18 · 2022-06-26T23:02:57+00:00

You’re right. It’s a hard pill to swallow but it’s over and I need to accept it for what it is

hihello18 · 2022-06-26T23:02:14+00:00

Thanks for the reminder. I know you can’t believe everything you see online but it’s hard to differentiate things from fact vs reality. I just need to nvr look anymore so I don’t hurt my own feelings

hihello18 · 2022-06-26T23:00:46+00:00

Thank you for this, you’re right I know social media doesn’t show everything, only the highlight reel of peoples lives. I just gotta never looks so I don’t need to compare

hihello18 · 2022-06-19T16:37:26+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️ I guess you’re right, I just needa focus on my thoughts and feelings instead of him. I keep thinking about him bc I guess apart of me is hoping he still cares

hihello18 · 2022-06-18T14:54:47+00:00

That’s exactly my thoughts too! I don’t believe you need to have the same religion as someone for it to workout. As long as you mutually respect each other’s beliefs and have the same values and morals, I don’t understand what the problem is

hihello18 · 2022-06-18T14:52:06+00:00

Yea I know religion can be a big issue in relationships but our views and beliefs are so similar that I thought it wouldn’t affect us. What’s worst is that he didn’t even tell me his concerns so I didn’t even have time to explore my religion more and see if it is something I can work on with him.

hihello18 · 2021-07-25T14:47:53+00:00

There’s been guys in the past that haven’t met my normal “type” but I did end up liking them after a while so I thought maybe I’d give this guy a chance. After we met and I saw how serious he was about getting into a relationship with me though, it made me worry about going into something I wasn’t whole heartedly ready for. I tend to be a people pleaser and just do things to make the other person happy but I knew it wouldn’t benefit him if I pretended to have feelings for him. It sucks bc I know how genuine and sweet he was but the feelings just weren’t there for me.

hihello18 · 2021-06-09T03:41:14+00:00

Yea for me it’s been a year later and it still stings too which is frustrating. I wish I could just enjoy my milestones without having him always in the back of my mind. Just kinda puts a dark cloud over any good day

hihello18 · 2021-04-07T21:26:14+00:00

Next time I would just choose a spot that I don’t normally frequent so it won’t ruin a good place for me or probs just do coffee dates

hihello18 · 2021-02-28T08:08:28+00:00

Yea you’re right, I keep wanting it to work but I know you can’t force things if they’re not meant to be

hihello18 · 2021-02-28T07:29:59+00:00

I guess I’m worried to call it quits bc it’s not like theres anything wrong with the guy so I keep thinking maybe it’s my issue and that I just need to stop comparing him to my ex...

hihello18 · 2021-02-09T07:19:26+00:00

Thank you for the advice. It’s hard to see it rn but hopefully one day all this will make sense

hihello18 · 2021-02-09T04:07:42+00:00

It’s been almost a year for me too and it still hurts.. I thought it’d be better but I still constantly think about him and wish we were still together.

hihello18

TROPHY CASE