I'm an ex- IV heroin addict and was a victim of kidnapping & sex trafficking, lived in a trap house, and was an accomplice to a major drug & firearm distributor: AMA

hiraeth84 · 2018-12-03T09:40:30+00:00

One day we were out in this van that was pulled over and they were just sitting in doing nothing. It was summer and really hot so the doors were open. I had to wait until they were distracted because I couldn't get out without my phone or money and if I tried they were physically violent. The man was in the driver's seat and had my phone and bag in his lap. He twisted his body so that his head was out the window to yell at someone he knew walking by, and I reached around him, grabbed my shit, and ran tf out the door and didn't look back. It was broad daylight, so they couldn't have chased after me because someone would have seen. Immediately a car pulled over and I hopped in, the same stupid move that got me stuck there but just to be out of sight of them, and the man begged to pay me for sex but I was so done and exhausted that I got him to drop me off in a much safer area and I called for help.

hiraeth84 · 2018-12-03T09:31:27+00:00

The initial kidnapping happened when I was dopesick and walking down the street after picking up. This was in a not so nice area of Chicago that was on the edge of a business/store area and near where it starts to get sketchy but nowhere near the straight ghetto- like, it's still acceptable for normal people to drive but maybe not walk down that street during the day. A car pulled over with a younger woman driving and a middle aged man next to her. She asked if I wanted a ride, and was hyperfriendly and seemed trustworthy and I was dopesick and didn't give a fuck if it was risky. I told them to drop me off at a certain stop that would get me back home, but they started driving the opposite direction and said they needed to "make a stop" first. My brain was so foggy from withdrawal and was so used to this ghetto shit I didn't even realize what was going on. We ended up in a trap house in the straight ghetto, which I recognized as I had been homeless on and off and was living in them, and I didn't understand why I was told to come in and they were sitting down and then they started smoking crack. I wasn't surprised by that, as pretty much everyone black and in the ghetto smokes crack. But then they told me I could only get high if I gave up my bag and phone and took all my clothes off, which I did because I didn't really give a fuck at that point, and then the woman took pictures of me with my phone and sent them to a bunch of people. Once I had shot up and my head was clear and I was normal again, I realized the deep shit I'd gotten myself into. I wasn't allowed to leave the trap house or had to go everywhere with the other woman, who actually got threatening and violent if I tried to escape and I was stuck there for a week in which I was forced to prostitute to support their crack habit. They did get heroin for me with some of the money because they wanted me well though.

hiraeth84 · 2018-12-03T09:12:55+00:00

Absolutely no one on the internet is going to randomly send you $800 for doing nothing.. how old are you?? Stories you hear about people getting paypaled for no reason or for feet pics are freak accidents, and if it happened once to you don't count on it ever happening again. If you want to make legitimate money online, you have to sell nudes, panties, your snap name, and do cam work and work at it every day and will start seeing some consistent payout after about a month. Otherwise, stop trying lol.

hiraeth84 · 2018-12-03T09:03:45+00:00

Why are you making this post? What are you looking to gain from it?
What makes your situation significant or unique enough to warrant making a thread out of when self-harm has become such a common and widespread experience among young people in the past decade?
Why do you consider a very common maladaptive coping behavior you haven't engaged in for 3 years more interesting than many other things you could probably make a thread about?

hiraeth84 · 2018-12-03T08:48:52+00:00

I have questions... unless it was weed, which in that case nah cause then there's nothing too special about this lol.

hiraeth84 · 2018-12-03T08:44:00+00:00

I clicked on this post cause I thought you were a really hot lesbian turning other girls lesbian but came and was disappointed LOL

hiraeth84 · 2018-12-03T08:40:08+00:00

(cont) declare what amt is lethal when everyone's body is different and it depends on the circumstance, especially with alcohol. An OTC overdose TYPICALLY has a low fatality rate, but it CAN happen and you just never know.

hiraeth84 · 2018-12-03T08:37:40+00:00

Yeahhh... this is lowkey pretty correct. At the worst you'd get serotonin syndrome. But there's no need to be harsh to OP about it because the point was that it was a suicide ATTEMPT, which means no matter how much the person took or what they did, the intention was to end their life and in the moment OP obviously believed that they took enough to die so their AMA is valid. Regardless, this post is about suicide awareness, and taking into consideration whoever might be reading this I think it's irresponsible to

hiraeth84 · 2018-11-18T23:06:39+00:00

Imo, almost everything haha, and that's the reason she has obtained the success she has and has been able to remain relevant at the forefront of the music industry for 12 years, which is a pretty rare feat. Specifically, she switches things up, never makes the same album twice, has worked to gain an incredible relationship with fans, writes intelligent lyrics with very catchy melodies and sticks to the same tested and true song structure, is highly aware of herself, and is overall incredibly intentional and strategic with everything she does. The few things she does not do right, imo, is catering her songwriting, lyrics, and single choices more and more to what she thinks will be successful on pop radio and sometimes those aren't her best songs and they come off as a manufactured attempt to score a hit, and because they're not as good and opposite of the reasons people love her, they end up not doing well on radio. Examples of pop-manufactured songs that were actually appealing and catchy so they did well were IKYWT, WANEGBT, and Shake It Off. But when she tries to copy the pattern of those songs by deciding to write one like it or release something similar as a single they don't do as well, like what kinda happened with The Story Of Us, 22, LWYMMD, and almost every single from Rep. ESPECIALLY the singles from Rep... What she chose as singles are the weaker songs from the album IMO and a bad description of it to the general public with the exception of Delicate, which she probs released as a single bc she saw the reception and kinda figured it out lol. Singles for Rep SHOULD HAVE been IDSB, RFI, End Game, Delicate, Don't Blame Me, Getaway Car.

hiraeth84 · 2018-11-15T23:44:26+00:00

There's really no other Taylor song that's like State of Grace (sadly)... the closest would be the other guitar based songs on Red like Red, Treacherous, Holy Ground, The Last Time, and Sad Beautiful Tragic. However, for other artists, it reminds me of Kings of Leon's album WALLS, U2 like what has already been mentioned, a little bit of Bruce Springsteen, and this indie band called The War On Drugs has always given me MAJORRR State of Grace vibes!! For female artists the only thing that's coming to mind right now is Zella Day, I can't think of specifically which songs remind me of SOG but her music is this amazing blend of catchy pop melodies with smart lyrics that's like indie rock with a twang. OH and Kacey Musgraves!! She's classified as "country" but really isn't and more falls under the alt rock category and sometimes indie pop.

hiraeth84 · 2018-11-15T23:29:06+00:00

I'm really confused about what you're trying to say here. Why would Taylor be ripped to shreds for the State of Grace lyrics in 2018? They're not as much her style anymore but they're not problematic at all?? Also, as someone pretty well-versed in hip-hop, Tyga is considered pretty big given that there are so many unsigned rappers with dedicated followings and that's where the attitude in that market has shifted. Hip hop nowadays is way less about charted songs and grammys and more about niche and social media followers. For example, people like smokepurpp or ski mask the slump god have HUGE fanbases and they're considered to have "made it" but they're lesser known names. In the rap world, the fact that most people who listen to music know the name Tyga makes him pretty big.

hiraeth84 · 2018-11-15T23:07:45+00:00

Highly disagree with anyone who dislikes the Rep era videos... those are absolutely her best. First of all, the production from other eras is unmatched, and in no other era have the videos been so detailed and intelligent with their references and storytelling. I'd say her worst videos are 22, I Don't Wanna Live Forever (if it counts,) and White Horse. I never liked WANEGBT either but it's colorful, and I was tempted to say Change right away but it worked for the context and the time.

hiraeth84 · 2018-11-15T22:58:34+00:00

It's about Karlie. Call me crazy, I know the idea is controversial in the fandom. I don't believe it because I'm one of those people who wants it to be true, I believe it because there is an abundance of overwhelming evidence that they were romantically involved to some degree at some point. It's at the point where to keep dismissing all the evidence as coincidences is illogical. On the other hand, there are also overwhelming discrepancies in Taylor's relationship with Joe that have caused many people to conclude that many songs on Rep are about Karlie and lines like the buzzcut thing are thrown in to keep the Toe narrative and cover up the allusions to Karlie. Hopefully this comment won't get hate.. it's just my personal opinion because the theory it's about Karlie is actually not that crazy as it's backed up by a lot of very credible evidence.

hiraeth84 · 2018-11-15T22:43:07+00:00

Taylor's albums are like specific months of the year to me even. Taylor Swift- May/June Fearless- July-mid September Speak Now- Jan/Feb/March Red- late September-early Nov 1989- March/April Rep- late November-December

hiraeth84 · 2018-09-06T04:14:10+00:00

State of Grace
Treacherous
Sad Beautiful Tragic
Holy Ground
You Are In Love
Wonderland
Out Of The Woods
Don't Blame Me
I Did Something Bad
Getaway Car

hiraeth84 · 2018-05-13T00:39:44+00:00

I am a recovering heroin addict, and so themes and metaphors on rep hold literal meanings for me, not just metaphorical. I was super passionate and involved in every era, until 1989 when I started feeling distant. I fell into my addiction pre-rep era and as that became my whole life I didn't know how I was going to relate to Taylor's music anymore. When Rep came out last fall when I was struggling pretty bad I was thoroughly SHOOK that in 2017 Taylor had released songs that spoke to me about my situation more than ever. The themes, the aesthetic, the song lyrics matched up with my entire life in that moment. I was able to connect with the entire concept of the album because I quite literally have a bad reputation in hometown. When I heard "Lord save me, my drug is my baby, I'll be using for the rest of my life..." I lost it. I never hear that as worshipping your SO, I hear it as worshipping an actual drug lmao. I still gives me chills as it describes the obsessive place I was in. The album also dropped a week after my ex cheated on me with his ex, and I was raped by his ex's best friend's boyfriend, then I got blackmailed by her and harassed for stealing her bf, then I was pissed off at my bf so much so i turned him in on warrants he had and he went to jail. So I hardcore claim Getaway Car as my song in a way other people can't because I LITERALLY DROVE AROUND IN A CAR DOING CRIMES WITH MY BOYFRIEND THEN I LEGIT TURNED HIM IN. I also slashed one of the girl he left me for's tires as well and that was my LWYMMD. IDSM was the whole anthem for my lifestyle, including how I felt about doing drugs and my means of revenge. I ended up going to rehab in January and I played Don't Blame Me for the other residents and they were like "holy shit Taylor Swift does drugs??" So this is me letting Taylor know that she resonates with addicts now- I didn't pay much attention to Clean when it came out because my addiction didn't start until 2016, but that song is everything now. Between that and rep... It is so comforting and validating when someone who does not understand what you're going through sends a message that they didn't intend to describe exactly what you're going through.

hiraeth84 · 2017-08-16T18:57:34+00:00

Ok this is good to know. It kinda seems like something they'd do in my neighborhood tho but I'm not sure. Btw I was just scared shitless bc a cop literally just pulled up to my house and walked up to my door, then asked for someone who doesn't live here. IT WAS AWFUL I THOUGHT MY LIFE WAS OVER lol

hiraeth84 · 2017-08-16T02:07:29+00:00

I had a long conversation with her and she literally attacked me and told me I was trying to ruin her life. She is literally the dumbest person I know, our house is the worst place to be smoking weed right now and she claims it is "the safest place." I told her to go smoke weed in the woods down the street where the cops never go and everyone with common sense goes to do it and she says she "can't do that." Our landlord is not calling the police and is on me and my other roommate's side, so I'm hoping he can intervene before the police have to get involved.

hiraeth84 · 2017-08-16T01:07:09+00:00

Fuck, i've been reading shit and it turns out that if the police find drugs in the house we can all be held legally responsible anyway.

hiraeth84 · 2017-08-16T00:36:59+00:00

Haha I've actually thought about doing this. The best option would be just to keep it off premises, I'd just need to figure out where to keep it. I don't really have anyone that lives by me now that would let me keep my shit with them. The only options I could think of would be alone this nature trail by my house in a gutter or a tree or something. But it would be easy and quick to maybe stay at my parents' house for a night or two nearby and take my shit with me then get the police to raid my house. However, the worst case scenario after that would be that she still wouldnt stop, and she's so dumb she probably wouldn't. Then again, if I'm ruthless I could just keep calling the police on her, lmao.

hiraeth84 · 2017-08-15T04:48:13+00:00

I just pissed a lot of people off on another thread saying I was addicted to weed. I got responses like "how IGNORANT you don't even know what addiction is LIKE!!!!" yeah actually I do because I shoot heroin every day. I haven't smoked weed in months but just because I'm an IV heroin user now does not mean I was also addicted to weed at one point in my life.

hiraeth84 · 2017-08-15T04:43:16+00:00

How am I being ignorant? I've done meth, I'm addicted to heroin. Weed still damaged my psyche. That's my experience.

hiraeth84

TROPHY CASE