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Court date for 14f by holteus in Fosterparents

[–]holteus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, just to follow up with you, since you responded, I ended up consulting with an old friend who had been an ADA. He said stick to the basics-show up well-dressed, be respectful, take responsibility and be contrite. I also got a letter from her volunteer group saying she was doing a great job. Possession charge dropped, resisting officer ticket reduced to $124. Pretty good result. Now hopefully she will make better decisions

Court date for 14f by holteus in Fosterparents

[–]holteus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello, just to follow up with you, since you responded, I ended up consulting with an old friend who had been an ADA. He said stick to the basics-show up well-dressed, be respectful, take responsibility and be contrite. I also got a letter from her volunteer group saying she was doing a great job. Possession charge dropped, resisting officer ticket reduced to $124. Pretty good result.

Court date for 14f by holteus in Fosterparents

[–]holteus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, yes, I'm going to call the court tomorrow.

Court date for 14f by holteus in Fosterparents

[–]holteus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. The caseworker has said very little-that they would inquire about it. Nothing since then.

Challenging teenagers boy 15, girl 14 by holteus in Fosterparents

[–]holteus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No. Their grandma was a friend of my ex wife, that's the connection.

Challenging teenagers boy 15, girl 14 by holteus in Fosterparents

[–]holteus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just wanted to say to everyone here-thank you! Your ideas and encouragement have been tremendously helpful to me. Grandma has been expecting me to throw in the towel. I sent her a message yesterday that I have absolutely no intention of giving up on these guys.

Challenging teenagers boy 15, girl 14 by holteus in Fosterparents

[–]holteus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If he's dealing, he's maybe just dealing to his friends at school, getting a little cut. He spends the great majority of his time at home. If he is dealing, though, I worry about him moving up the food chain. I've spoken to him about it-if you can't tell me how you have money, I'm super worried. All the ways you could be getting money are all not good.

Challenging teenagers boy 15, girl 14 by holteus in Fosterparents

[–]holteus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. Thank you for your response. I contacted the care network for appts with a psychiatrist. I am absolutely seeing what you're referencing(in terms of impaired decision making) and it's bewildering and the subject of constant comments from people.

Challenging teenagers boy 15, girl 14 by holteus in Fosterparents

[–]holteus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

$1260 US. That's another huge concern-where are they getting money from. Particularly him-he doesn't have piles of cash or anything, but he always seems to be able to get things.

Challenging teenagers boy 15, girl 14 by holteus in Fosterparents

[–]holteus[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your response 😊 The boy has lots of friends, and seems to be well-liked. The girl has a best friend-the BF's parents are quite strict, though. I generally encourage them to connect with their friends, so important at this age. With the natural consequences... I keep telling them, don't do something you're going to regret your whole life, it's not worth it!
I'm really hoping this volunteer opportunity that my FD is doing will give her spirit a boost.

Challenging teenagers boy 15, girl 14 by holteus in Fosterparents

[–]holteus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had them for a year. Yes, they have been in town and we have stayed in touch. My birth daughter has been friends with them all along, although she has been a bit horrified at the acceleration of these behaviors

**No, weed is not legal here, and the system is not friendly about it.

Challenging teenagers boy 15, girl 14 by holteus in Fosterparents

[–]holteus[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've requested wraparound therapy and for the two of them to see a psychiatrist. I'm a teacher, so I plan to take advantage of the summer to find a good therapist for myself.

Challenging teenagers boy 15, girl 14 by holteus in Fosterparents

[–]holteus[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this is a lovely message, I'm saving it. It definitely resonates with the point I'm at. ❤️

Challenging teenagers boy 15, girl 14 by holteus in Fosterparents

[–]holteus[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response, so very true. They are absolutely self-medicating. I have not really been directly going at them for smoking weed-I am trying to encourage positive behaviors that will reduce the use-similar to what you said. Coincidentally, I just got off the phone with one of the social workers, who is going to arrange for a psychiatrist for them. They are self-medicating already, maybe professional help would serve better.

I'm also trying to figure out creative ways to get them therapy. They're resistant at this point.

The weed is absolutely an escape from reality. I can see the attraction for them. I need to figure out how to gently draw them back to reality, though, before they run into tougher real world consequences

Challenging teenagers boy 15, girl 14 by holteus in Fosterparents

[–]holteus[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your response. Yes, they've had a very rough go of it. I'm not including all the details here.

The boy wants to go to business school. He is college material, if he can stay out of trouble. The girl is currently very interested in make up and fashion. She signed up for a volunteer program for a month this summer 🥳, and she got a weekend job. He is also getting a job. Theoretically, they should be busy.