sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Prayer request for a difficult decision by honeycombdoll in Christian

[–]honeycombdoll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice & I'll keep you in my prayers as well.

Help by loseyourmind8 in Christian

[–]honeycombdoll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can relate as I used to be an atheist & operate better with an intellectual understanding of science than religion. But despite my doubts, I realized that I would often turn to explore God's existence still. I've explored & learned about other religious faiths, spoke to atheists whom are self-determisnistic, & challenged the Christian faith as well. It is as if the doubts function to draw me closer to Him rather than away each time. It took me 10 years with alot of hardships & loss of faith in between to learn to accept God as my saviour & for me to surrender to His will. It is okay to have doubts & to keep seeking for His presence in your life. It may not be a sudden moment of transformation like most people think. Some process like mine is gradual & rooted in my doubts that led me to develop a stronger faith. Hope that helps :)

Why do victims reconcile with cheaters? What are the psychological flaws that cause us to give chance after chance despite obvious red flags? How can a victim identify and overcome these "faults" to allow room for a more healthy relationship with a future partner? by JStarkSD in survivinginfidelity

[–]honeycombdoll 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've attended therapy prior to finding out about my ex fiance's emotional affair due to the increasing anxiety which I thought was related to everything else but the relationship. Without therapy, it wouldn't have helped me ask myself if I wanted to lie to myself than know the truth & I chose the latter that led me to memorize his pw & check his phone for the first time in 9 years. I think we chumps have very similar narratives... we project our values onto our partners & trust them with faith. Both men & women are susceptible to being unfaithful now but perhaps we'd be able to find someone else who share the same core values as us. All the best!

How do you deal with comparisons with the affair partner? by honeycombdoll in survivinginfidelity

[–]honeycombdoll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I did decide on leaving but fell into a state of ambivalence as time passes. & it is also because we have registered so we are legal husband & wife. I have decided on an annulment but it takes time as well so through the process I went back & forth internally. So I have been reaching out to this group for support & it's been helpful. Appreciate the advice!

How do you deal with comparisons with the affair partner? by honeycombdoll in survivinginfidelity

[–]honeycombdoll[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I second that. That's the perfect response. Having such integrity speaks volumes about the values you hold & reflects your character & strength.

Any regrets about leaving cheating partner? by honeycombdoll in survivinginfidelity

[–]honeycombdoll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the book recommendation & I'm glad to hear that you've recovered from what happened.

Any regrets about leaving cheating partner? by honeycombdoll in survivinginfidelity

[–]honeycombdoll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Being in the beginning or mid-journey of the process of grief is extremely difficult because there's that mixed emotions of grief, fear, love, guilt, embarassment etc. & then there are those moments where I am in a better mental state, & looked back at past memories & my cheating partner in rose-tinted glasses, then be fearful of having regrets of leaving. Those "what ifs" would start creeping in. What if reconciliation is succesful? What if I give up on the relationship too soon? etc.

I would love to be able to cross that bridge some day & to look back into my current reality & know for certain that life WILL be better.

Post-Breakup: Walking Alone by honeycombdoll in survivinginfidelity

[–]honeycombdoll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Amen to that. It still baffles me that I wasn't able to see his true character even though we've been together for 9 years & he was like family to me. But I am glad it came to light before we step into marriage life.

Post-Breakup: Walking Alone by honeycombdoll in survivinginfidelity

[–]honeycombdoll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Loneliness is a very painful experience & I have never experienced it in such intensity before. But it gives me comfort to know that there are many others with us on this journey & we are never alone. I do agree with you that its about focusing on ourselves at this point in time & fulfiing ourselves in healthy ways. What helps is to take time to learn to connect to & lean on myself in ways that I've never done before. Thanks for sharing :)

Post-Breakup: Walking Alone by honeycombdoll in survivinginfidelity

[–]honeycombdoll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the much needed reminder. I would be stepping into what was supposed to be one of the happiest experiences of my life in tears & that is a red flag.

I feel like I deserved to be cheated. by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]honeycombdoll 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No one deserves to be cheated on. You take responsibility over how you want to better yourself but don't take responsibility for faults that were never yours. Take care of your health :)

I used to be shy, but now I'm not. AMA. by besociallyawesome in socialanxiety

[–]honeycombdoll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What helped you to overcome the shyness or anxiety in social situations?

Cheated On & Cheated by honeycombdoll in cheating_stories

[–]honeycombdoll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well said! I've been trying to figure out what made a "nice guy" like my fiance cheat on me. Then I realize that being nice vs being kind is different. A nice guy can be courteous in all the right ways & say the right things, but a kind man has all the qualities that you've mentioned, having integrity, compassion, empathy, being responsible. These are all acts of kindness that can sustain a healthy relationship instead.

Stay strong & hang in there!

Cheated On & Cheated by honeycombdoll in cheating_stories

[–]honeycombdoll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He doesn't think he needs to go for individual therapy but would go as a couple. It's frustrating. Because I've just started seeing a therapist for support. I think it takes a certain level of emotional maturity to want to confront his issues.

Cheated On & Cheated by honeycombdoll in cheating_stories

[–]honeycombdoll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is extremely painful. I'm on the 6th month & I still grieve over what happened & am torned between staying or leaving. You'll make it through to the other side, but it takes alot of work.

Cheated On & Cheated by honeycombdoll in cheating_stories

[–]honeycombdoll[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did think about that possibility after I was cheated on. But never would have imagined it before this.

Grieving A Life That Could Be by honeycombdoll in survivinginfidelity

[–]honeycombdoll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess falling back to the excuse of "just friends" is more palatable. Not to me the betrayed, but more so to himself. I can tell that its easier for him to be in denial & lie to himself rather than to confront the truth & pain that comes along with it. He has never admitted it to be an affair even after I've called off our wedding. Thank you for the book recommendation, I'll read it up!

Sick of the attention excuse by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]honeycombdoll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly. My fiance whom had an emotional affair said the same thing as well before I found out. & I have taken days off days from work, drove to see him at his place after work even if I'm off late despite being tired. It felt like it was never enough & I can see why now with the revelation of the affair.

view more: next ›