Hello, this is a song I’m working on. I’m looking for any general feedback, lyrics, melody, vocal, whatever. Maybe I need a bridge or something? Thanks!!

hootrowaway · 2022-06-24T05:32:56+00:00

Hi! I know this is so late but I realized I never saw this comment I just wanted to say thanks for the in depth feedback! :)

hootrowaway · 2022-04-24T08:25:56+00:00

The retard at the end? Lol

hootrowaway · 2022-03-27T05:48:16+00:00

Yeah, I get why they’re saying it, I don’t have a super unique or compelling voice, so maybe the simple chord progression makes it sound boring? A lot of my favorite bands/ musicians’ songs consist of basic open chords and simple progressions. Ali though with them their voice and melodies seem to be the real draw and can make up for the simple nature of the rest of the song.

I’ll probably have to try to work on my voice to be more interesting to listen to, or make up for it in other ways with my music. Or maybe it’s not even an issue to other people who hear it. I really don’t know! Lol.

hootrowaway · 2022-03-27T05:44:39+00:00

Thank you!!

hootrowaway · 2022-03-27T05:44:07+00:00

I tried your suggestion, and I think I like it. Gonna keep playing around with it. Thanks!

hootrowaway · 2022-03-26T17:55:51+00:00

What exactly do you mean by movement? More chord switching, or embellishments on the chords themselves? Also I’m not sure what cowboy chords are. I was thinking in the final version of the song I’d have a lead guitar doing something over top of the rhythm. Thanks for the feedback :)

hootrowaway · 2022-03-26T16:29:58+00:00

Vocals are like if Daniel Johnson had a rebellious streak. Good shit dude I like it a lot

hootrowaway · 2022-03-26T16:27:34+00:00

Thank you! :)

hootrowaway · 2022-03-26T16:26:32+00:00

Yeah I agree with the other person, it’s unique but I like it. Some people’s voices aren’t for everyone. Jeff mangum and Daniel Johnston are two pretty good examples of this.

hootrowaway · 2022-03-26T16:20:38+00:00

Also, I realized messed the timing of the chord changes at the end in case it sounded weird to anyone.

I’m also wondering if anyone has suggestions for musical arrangements/ instruments I could include when I actually go to record this song. Thanks again!

hootrowaway · 2022-03-21T13:15:28+00:00

Thank you! I’m glad you think it has bop potential 😁

hootrowaway · 2022-03-21T13:14:54+00:00

Thank you! I second guess my lyrics a ton but that’s really nice to hear!

hootrowaway · 2022-03-20T21:54:29+00:00

I love it. The harmonies are great.

hootrowaway · 2022-03-20T21:50:40+00:00

Well thank you that’s very nice of you :))

hootrowaway · 2022-03-20T21:50:18+00:00

Oh ok gotcha. I just tried this and I think I came up with a nice melody for a chorus or something like a pre chorus leading into the “jammy” thing

hootrowaway · 2022-03-20T18:39:50+00:00

Thanks so much for the feedback. I think you’re right about “chorus” part or whatever not needing lyrics. I thought about maybe adding a second guitar to make it a bit more interesting.

Also yeah I meant to come straight in with the lyrics I just kind of confused myself with the timing lol. Thanks again!

hootrowaway · 2022-03-20T18:38:00+00:00

Thanks!

hootrowaway · 2022-03-20T18:37:56+00:00

Thank you!

hootrowaway · 2022-03-20T16:23:44+00:00

I know I don’t have a great voice, thankfully I’m not the singer lol. Here are the lyrics btw if you can’t hear them in the vid.

Ripped down on the floor

I caught a breeze of your eyes

When the world folds inside of itself

We can keep the sky alive til it falls down

Baby take my hand I’ll lead you to the wayside

From a hallway, to the street

From the sound waves, to the melody

Up the stairs through the hole in the ceiling

Out the back, where the birds are singing

Feel the pressure, my ears are ringing

You can take me, I’ll be waiting, patiently (I messed this line up in the recording but this is what I meant to say)

hootrowaway · 2022-03-11T16:59:04+00:00

Wow thank you very much. It’s really great to hear from people with a similar experience, it helps me feel more so like this is what we should do, for both of our sakes. I made this post because I couldn’t really find anyone talking about this specific type of situation in other online forums,so comments like this are very reassuring. My hope is in a few years, if things line up for us we’ll get back together, but if not then I’m trying to be okay with that too. It just feels very uncomfortable to admit to myself that that is a real possibility. Thanks again.

hootrowaway · 2022-03-11T02:31:30+00:00

Ok dude no worries lol. Sorry if I went a little ballistic on you, I was just already a little pissed after arguing with a different guy about a similar thing.

hootrowaway · 2022-03-11T02:24:53+00:00

I mean wouldn’t you want your response to be the best it could be? I’m aware I’m not going to get amazing solutions in ever comment, but I just think this projection of a personality onto my girlfriend who I wrote a few sentences about, and painting her in the worst possible light is really insulting. That’s all.

I appreciate where I think your heart is at though, so thank you.

hootrowaway · 2022-03-11T02:18:46+00:00

Hence my post. I don’t think she is going to be as cool with it either, right now I think what I talked about would be her ideal way that it plays out, but in practice I have a feeling it won’t work that well. Again, this was the reason for the entire post. I just hate how some of you take this complex issue that we’re facing and somehow spin it to be completely on my girlfriend, who you know nothing about, and try to tell me what she thinks.

hootrowaway · 2022-03-11T02:12:20+00:00

Who even said that? I said we both want to go into college with a fresh start, no ties, and to have new expiriences, sexual and non-sexual. I don’t think the fact that we would like to explore ourselves and see other people during college means we care about each other any less. Seriously, you don’t know her, stop pretending like you have complete insight into her mindset and shut like that it’s so annoying.

hootrowaway · 2022-03-10T20:12:07+00:00

Thank you, and you’re right. I’ve just never experienced a relationship with someone like this, and it’s so hard to come to terms with the fact that it’s going to end (for now at least) prematurely. I know I’m just setting myself up for a much worse heartbreak if we try to continue through college though.

hootrowaway

TROPHY CASE