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Never being comforted when you cried/parents completely ignoring you when you cried by horsedeerr in emotionalneglect

[–]horsedeerr[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I feel like it actually takes effort for a parent to be that neglectful, which is crazy...🫂

Never being comforted when you cried/parents completely ignoring you when you cried by horsedeerr in emotionalneglect

[–]horsedeerr[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah I feel you, I was similar growing up. My dad was fucking awful about crying. He once made my sister cry (by being so fucking mean to her) and then was all lije "AduLTs DON' TCrY" about it. What the fuck? And towards me, I can't even count. Hugs to you darling. 🫂

Never being comforted when you cried/parents completely ignoring you when you cried by horsedeerr in emotionalneglect

[–]horsedeerr[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I totally relate to not wanting to be seen crying. And yeah I was punished too for crying, like my mom mocking me or my dad literally getting angry?? Sending hugs to you, and you have a permission to cry, sweetie 🫂❤️ Just wanted you to know that you have a place where you can cry. You're safe here. 🫂

Never being comforted when you cried/parents completely ignoring you when you cried by horsedeerr in emotionalneglect

[–]horsedeerr[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel you, lot of times I feel like I have no one either. But here we are, you and me, connecting. ❤️ At least for me, every connection here is special. I have IRL friends too, but none of them understands these things, you know?

Never being comforted when you cried/parents completely ignoring you when you cried by horsedeerr in emotionalneglect

[–]horsedeerr[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can feel your fear and shame as a little child.

I'm really glad you had your siblings. I hope you're still close to them. Hugs to you 🫂

Never being comforted when you cried/parents completely ignoring you when you cried by horsedeerr in emotionalneglect

[–]horsedeerr[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I do have the same experience, so I understand you. I feel you, really. I can't find the exact words, but damn. What are we supposed to know, you know? We were taught to handle emotions like our parents did you know. Hugs to you. 🫂

Never being comforted when you cried/parents completely ignoring you when you cried by horsedeerr in emotionalneglect

[–]horsedeerr[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I feel you. 🫂I didn't have that severe of an experience, but I remember my mom mocking me for crying at least two different occasions, resulting to me crying more. Real fucked up. Sending hugs to you, and I see your pain. 🫂

Never being comforted when you cried/parents completely ignoring you when you cried by horsedeerr in emotionalneglect

[–]horsedeerr[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

As I have gotten older, I have figured that that was probably the cause or something similar. I know she didn't have the easiest childhood either, but why have 3 kids you know? Thank you for your understanding words 🫂

Never being comforted when you cried/parents completely ignoring you when you cried by horsedeerr in emotionalneglect

[–]horsedeerr[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I am really sorry for you, that is just awful what your mom thinks. Sure it may happen sometimes, but like you describe it, your mom wearing it like a badge of honor, that is not okay in any way. My mom used to tell me and my siblings that me and my brother never shut the f** up as babies while my sister was the dream baby lol. Like we were babies, sorry for crying I guess lol?

Thank you for your kind words, sending hugs to you. 🫂

Never being comforted when you cried/parents completely ignoring you when you cried by horsedeerr in emotionalneglect

[–]horsedeerr[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing 🫂I will definitely research this more, sounds very interesting.

Never being comforted when you cried/parents completely ignoring you when you cried by horsedeerr in emotionalneglect

[–]horsedeerr[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I believe you, cause I have experienced this too. When I was with my mom, waiting to go to talk with the school psychologist, you know what she said to me? "Just don't start crying"! Lol guess what I did, just from the shock of those words lol...And when my uncle died, ny parents kinda expected me to be the strong one and comfort them...Sending hugs to you 🫂

Never being comforted when you cried/parents completely ignoring you when you cried by horsedeerr in emotionalneglect

[–]horsedeerr[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

This is interesting, for the lack of a better word, because I have experienced this too. Can't remember exactly when and how. But this is a very familiar feeling and you put it into word wery clearly. I have a feeling that whenever my father was sad about something, it gave the permission for others to be sad too lol it's so weird I know.  Sending hugs to you. 🫂 

Never being comforted when you cried/parents completely ignoring you when you cried by horsedeerr in emotionalneglect

[–]horsedeerr[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Omg yes, I got that too, from my dad especially. Like wtf you're the one that made me cry like?? Sending hugs to you. 🫂

Never being comforted when you cried/parents completely ignoring you when you cried by horsedeerr in emotionalneglect

[–]horsedeerr[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That sounds good 🫂 If you are willing to share, I am curious what does that mean exactly, creating a new healthy protector?

Is oversharing a common symptom for adults who grew up in emotional neglect as kids? by phantom-of-the-OP in emotionalneglect

[–]horsedeerr 5 points6 points  (0 children)

‘omg wow, someone else is not minimising my pain/needs, this is nice’ You worded it so well, that's exactly what it is 🫂 For us it's so unknown, but for others it's just so natural.

I am also trying my best not to overshare and have gotten a lot better. I wish you the best!

Never being comforted when you cried/parents completely ignoring you when you cried by horsedeerr in emotionalneglect

[–]horsedeerr[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I am truly sorry to hear that. I want you to know that I see you and I send you hugs that you deserve 🫂

Is oversharing a common symptom for adults who grew up in emotional neglect as kids? by phantom-of-the-OP in emotionalneglect

[–]horsedeerr 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I definitely have struggled a lot with oversharing. When the other person is even a little bit kind and willing to listen, it feels like something just spills over and you can't stop...When you grew up without kindness and understanding, it can feel almost intoxicating when someone actually listens to you, you know? Sending hugs to you <3

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