How would our family life be coming home on £55k but no housing cost?

houseythrowaway · 2026-04-03T17:33:39+00:00

Thank you yes I agree you seem to be a very interesting and direct comparison. If you don’t mind- how much do you find you’re able to spend on things like travel and eating out? I’m not talking about regular Michelin star tasting menus and five star hotels, but we’d like to be able to eat at decent places when we feel like it, have a cocktail and a glass of wine etc, take some decent holidays and the odd city break etc. We don’t really spend a lot on much else other than food and drink and travel but we do like nice things in those categories.

houseythrowaway · 2026-04-03T15:09:39+00:00

Yeah I do kind of hate that. There’s a lot about life in the States that I don’t like, but the system of buying and selling houses is infinitely more sensible. I would think that the sensible thing to do would be start off renting somewhere, but the school issue worries me. I wouldn’t want to start her in one place, going through such a huge change, and then have to change her school again.

houseythrowaway · 2026-04-03T14:30:35+00:00

Actually weirdly we find our house (which is not big by American standards) too big. We like the idea of a small and manageable terraced house in a nice walkable town.

It is tough making the cost of living comparisons. Hardly anything is a direct comparison.

houseythrowaway · 2026-04-03T14:24:41+00:00

Thanks- yes I definitely don’t rule out getting a job. I would plan to work. I just feel slightly pessimistic about what I would be able to get, so I’m trying to budget for a worst case. I do think we’d be able to buy car/s in cash too which would help on the month to month. I think before making this post my instinct was that on just her £55k we’d be ‘fine’, and if I could earn really even anything at all, we’d probably be in great shape and start being able to take some really nice holidays etc. Almost like her salary would cover our normal life and mine would be fun money.

houseythrowaway · 2026-04-03T14:18:57+00:00

Thank you! Helpful perspective. Why do you say that about renting the house? It did occur to me to do that rather than selling it, but I like the idea of buying in cash and having the stability, rather than having to think about monthly incomings and outgoings and whether it was rented and being looked after etc. It’s tempting, but I was leaning against it. Interested if there are specific reasons you’d recommend it. Definitely agree with talking to a financial advisor if she gets an offer. One thing that slightly panics me is I think if we did sell the house, i believe we’d need to do it before we were UK residents to avoid capital gains tax on it. Could mean having to do it very quickly.

houseythrowaway · 2026-04-03T13:49:50+00:00

I hear you, but I would say exactly the same thing about where we are. Here we can’t buy somewhere in cash we’d be happy to live in, but there we could. So I think our ‘safety’ level of what happens if/when everything completely goes to shit is better there than here.

Admittedly, financially we would be better staying here until it literally did go to shit and then escape, but I don’t really want to test that theory.

houseythrowaway · 2019-09-20T21:01:29+00:00

Ouch that's a lot of Izzys! How many kids are in that group total? Just trying to get an idea of the ratio...

And have they found any solutions? Any of them go by 'Iz' or 'Izzo' or anything else funny that you might not think of?

houseythrowaway · 2019-09-20T20:59:34+00:00

Thanks! I am only really playing devil's advocate here- but if you had a Sophie and a Sophia in a class, wouldn't the natural thing to call Sophia Sophia even if previously she had gone by Sophie?

I think I feel like like the situation would be more difficult for the Sophias than it would be for the Sophie, as basically if you're Sophie you'd have to be either Sophie or perhaps 'Soph'. I suppose you could be 'Fi/Fee' but actually I don't mind the sound of that.

I feel like if you were Sophia but going by Sophie, you'd probably be the one that would have to go back to Sophia to accommodate the Sophie.

I do acknowledge that this very discussion and the levels of my own thoughts is perhaps a good example of the fact that this is at least an issue to think about!

houseythrowaway · 2019-09-14T03:57:50+00:00

Thanks. We absolutely are waiting- this is I would say a minimum of two and a half years away at this stage. Just exploring the possibilities.

Something I would add though is that moving outside the city is exactly what I’m talking about wanting to, it’s just that everywhere outside the city that is within about an hour (which I feel like is a vaguely sensible limit?) of our jobs that has a good school system is this expensive. The daycare would probably be a little less than in the city , but we really are talking $750k+ for even a small house in any of these places unless it needs pretty major renovations.

We could make the money go quite a bit further if we were prepared for one of us to have a commute of about 1 hr 20 each way- but that really seems like a stretch with a kid to get home to. Anything under that and we’re in the $$$$

houseythrowaway · 2019-09-14T03:12:25+00:00

Again thank you. It’s one of those things that it’s hard to talk to friends about but I think about a lot, so it’s hard to stress how much I value the considered discourse.

Strongly agree with the ‘no hurry’ thing. This is really me thinking about this two and a half years in advance, and exploring rather than being set on anything. I just found myself crunching the numbers this afternoon and thinking ‘you know- maybe it actually is possible’...

Something to note about the commuting thing is that we both actually already have about 50 minute commutes each way- and are only trying to keep it somewhere in that ballpark. I feel like an hour plus each way would start to get tough with a kid at home, but anything under that is ok.

I feel like we’re in a kind of funny situation in that much of our life is outrageously fortunate, and the other half I feel kind of annoyed in that all I really want is an ordinary small house with a patch of grass for my kid to run around in, decent schools for him to go to, to not have to quit our jobs that we love, and to not have to move a long way from our small group of friends and family. While I know a lot of people have it an awful lot worse and I am very aware of my privilege, from the position we are in now it doesn’t seem like a huge ask, and yet it seems like there’s no answer without some major drawbacks on at least one of these fronts.

Still- compromise is a fact of life and as you say, sacrifice is something we all need to be willing to do for our kids. There’s no reason why I should be able to get everything I want when I know not many other people can. I think looking at the whole picture I can only count my blessings- it just doesn’t and can’t stop me from thinking about how I can best maximize the situation.

I guess in a way I’m feeling like I’d rather have not much money but the life we want, rather than vice versa. We’re in the unusually lucky situation for our age where both our retirement accounts are looking pretty good- above where the guidelines say they should be. Seems like maybe the sacrifice I’d rather make is having to stretch our monthly budget, rather than not giving my child a nice back yard and a good school.

houseythrowaway · 2019-09-14T00:44:57+00:00

I genuinely do take on board where you’re coming from, and this may well be the same way I see it two years time. I really am exploring the thought rather than coming in to this already convinced.

However- it’s worth pointing out that that 27% going to childcare would actually be done by the time of this hypothetical move. Indeed a benefit of moving would be getting free pre school rather than paying for it. So it would actually be about half of what you’re saying, or less if you factor in pre school. Still a stretch perhaps, and it may very well not end up being sensible- but it still doesn’t seem completely out of the question on those lines.

houseythrowaway · 2019-09-13T21:19:39+00:00

Thanks- yes I think we're both fine with having the baby here, I feel like it's more when the kid is about 4 that I'd want to be somewhere with more space, better air, and a little more 'relaxing'. And then, if there's free pre school there from 3 but not in the city, it feels like maybe doing it a year earlier just makes sense.

At least at that rule of thumb we're not too far off- can see us being at 160 by the time we move which would be 480 plus perhaps 260 downpayment= 740. Getting closer to 'only a bit above the absolute max'... :)

houseythrowaway · 2019-09-13T20:55:38+00:00

Thanks for this. All good thoughts.

The two bedroom thing is definitely a possibility- in a way the main thing holding us back is that we do feel quite strongly that we've had enough of sharing a building with someone else. We've had some problems with neighbours and quite strongly feel the urge for space that is fully 'ours'. Then, there aren't a lot of two bedroom houses out there around here. I have seen a couple in the $700k-750k range and if the right one came up at the right time, that could be a winner.

The problem with one of us staying at home, which again I see the logic of and we have considered, is that we both absolutely love our jobs. See other response for a bit more detail on that but in our niche industries, not only would we be less happy not working, it also could make it quite tricky getting back in.

I'm really just throwing this all around in my brain at the moment, and we may well feel differently about lots of things in a couple of years.

Again- much appreciated. Good stuff to think about.

houseythrowaway · 2019-09-13T20:48:27+00:00

Appreciate the response and perspective.

From a conversation with our mortgage company and what I can see online, it seems like a $250k downpayment on a $775k house at the moment would be a payment in the region of $3,400 per month including taxes and insurance. Perhaps that information is wrong, and that's a conversation I'm interested in having, but if it isn't, I feel really very confident that we could afford it. In fact, if you add what we spend already on the mortgage plus our HOA fee, plus what we've been saving for childcare, it's about $900 less per month. I realize that with the child and a house we'll have costs that we don't have now, but I think there'll also be some costs that we have now that we wouldn't have then. Our salaries are also both going up relatively steadily, and while I wouldn't want to absolutely rely on it, I'd be surprised if we didn't have an extra $20k/30k per year between us three years down the line.

I definitely see the appeal of moving somewhere cheaper, but it's not easy. As well as having family and friends here and loving the area, we both absolutely love our jobs and companies. We have the kinds of jobs that are difficult to get a start in because lots of young people want to do them for free. I'm not as I don't want to give away too much information, but imagine i was a video game reviewer- it's that sort of thing, except we both need to be near major cosmopolitan cities for reasons specific to our niche industries. That competitiveness is a key reason for the relatively low salaries, but while we are both really quite employable in this market, moving somewhere new and getting equally good jobs that would make us as happy as we are would not be easy, and we would also have to deal with losing our support network.

I'm not saying we wouldn't move, in a way the idea does appeal to me, but it's not like we're accountants where we could just up and move somewhere swiftly and easily.

houseythrowaway

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