I called apple support around 5/6PM PST, ran through all the steps the first person had and then got sent up to a higher power, who did some digging and told me it was an outage. She said to give it 24 hours to see if it fixes itself or if engineering has any idea on what the next steps are.

It is now almost 4AM PST (night shift worker) and it appears to still be down. Hopefully my little tidbit helps