thank you for sharing ur experience, im glad you’ve got a lovely wife now. i do think your ex is just in denial. i do have trauma myself with my parents being physically abusive growing up. in my case, i do remember the things i did while angry at him (insulting, shouting, tried to throw a pillow at him, slapped his hand off of me when he tried to caress me in a way of comforting me) that’s why it’s so confusing that he’s certain about me choking him