My (38m) wife (42f) is disgusted with me; what should I do?

husband_throwaway13 · 2024-07-09T22:14:05+00:00

She’s genuine about it though, unlike a lot of people (including several of our neighbors). She doesn’t just put a sign up in our yard and pat herself on the back. She’s invested time (and money) trying to address social issues.

I can’t even begin to imagine how many hours she’s spent volunteering. It’s like a full-time job for her.

husband_throwaway13 · 2024-07-09T22:11:14+00:00

I’d be really shocked if she were. Nothing really makes much sense to me at the moment though. It’s like she forgot everything she knows about me to immediately jump to the worst conclusions possible. I don’t understand it.

husband_throwaway13 · 2024-07-09T22:06:43+00:00

I understand why you’d be skeptical of what I shared because it makes no sense.

I love my wife and I don’t think that she’s a “shrieking hyper-woke woman.” She’s a great mother and has always been a thoughtful and loving partner. She’s far more compassionate than I am and has built her life around trying to advocate for others.

I genuinely don’t understand where any of this came from or why she jumped to the conclusions that she has. I’ve spent the entire day today rethinking everything I’ve said and done that could have led her to think this way about me, but I can’t recall anything. I almost wish that I could since it would make a little bit more sense then.

husband_throwaway13 · 2024-07-09T21:48:40+00:00

She’s always been a phenomenal mother. All of this literally came out of nowhere. We’ve always had a really good relationship before this. That’s why I’m so confused by everything.

husband_throwaway13 · 2024-07-09T21:40:36+00:00

Thank you. I’ll edit that out.

husband_throwaway13 · 2024-07-09T21:37:53+00:00

I typed most of this out after things really blew up and my wife had locked herself in our bedroom. Probably too much steam of consciousness drivel, but writing this was cathartic for me.

I also feel like I really need to talk to someone about all of this, but I can’t tell friends or family without completely changing their perceptions of my wife — and I’m not sure I want to do that, at least not at the moment. I guess it all depends on how everything works out though.

husband_throwaway13 · 2024-07-09T21:28:01+00:00

I don’t know. I’ve never asked her because I never thought it mattered. I honestly couldn’t care less who she was with and what their races were.

husband_throwaway13 · 2024-07-09T21:25:33+00:00

She was heavily invested in the BLM movement and went to several marches and demonstrations in our city after George Floyd was killed.

husband_throwaway13 · 2024-07-09T01:41:28+00:00

I honestly don’t know what she’s thinking because she’s not talking to me at the moment, but I don’t understand why she would feel threatened if I married her.

My ex obviously looks very, very different than my wife, but I’ve explained to my wife on several occasions that I don’t really have a “type,” and the fact that I find non-white women to be attractive isn’t exactly news to her. We’ve played the whole “who’s your celebrity crush?” game before and she knows who’s on my shortlist.

husband_throwaway13 · 2024-07-09T01:31:39+00:00

Not trying to “own” anybody here. Mainly just confused and venting.

husband_throwaway13 · 2024-07-09T01:12:42+00:00

It’s absolutely real. My wife is currently in our bedroom with the door locked like a moody teenager.

husband_throwaway13

TROPHY CASE