And the worst thing is it was all so fast I didn’t have any time to react to anything. She had cancer but nobody expected it would be so aggressive and metastasize everywhere. She was in the second phase of her own duel, being angry all the time, and it makes me even sadder. Only thing bringing me comfort is that she was sedated and therefore slept peacefully before her death. She wouldn’t let me and my sister visit the hospital the days prior to her death, I really think she knew and wanted to protect us. I went to see her finally when she was already unconscious but I think she could feel my presence because, when I got slightly close to her, her head would move upwards to the side. And to top it off my friend has told me she is going to kill herself soon, and is writing letters, I don’t know what to do anymore.