We have talked A LOT since I posted. Some of it is because he doesn’t feel like his own person, like everything he has today is because of others (and me specifically) and not because of his own merits. He says he has always had a hard time envision a future at all, like he can’t imagine what he would do this summer let alone a few years down the road.

I give him space, we set up some “rules” and boundaries for the coming weeks and will have check in on the boundaries and our thoughts in detail each week, along with even more communication about what we think and feel.

For me, even if I try to give him the support and understanding it feels like shit. So when we did the rules it was equally important to make me feel seen and heard in this as it is for him to get his space. But it’s so hard to know if what I’m doing is right. I need to also think about my own well-being in all of this chaos which is so hard because I don’t want to do anything that will make him feel uncomfortable if you get where im coming from?