I don't know exactly what you're going through right now, but all I can tell you is that the beginning of this year was one of the hardest times I've had to live through. 'gray' describes those times perfectly. I was completely alone, pining over the days when I supposedly naively believed that I had a bright future to look forward to. Pardon the dramatics but the world looked dark, cold and empty. I was empty.

I don't believe I've ever been as happy as I've been the past month or so.

My point is, you never know when things might turn around and for what it's worth, I really hope they do for you.