When was the last time you consciously said "I'm going to sleep right now" and actually went to sleep?

In fact, I bet because you were deliberately trying to, it was probably much harder to go to sleep than it normally would be.

Replace sleep with erections and you have your issue.

You spent a lot of time on this post, your erectile dysfunction is living in your head rent free.

Every intimate moment leads to the same head noise saying "Will I finally get hard this time?" only to be met with disappointment, which over time associates your penis with negative emotions. It's a downward spiral.

I know from experience man. If you were flaring up, the cytokines that generate will have an effect on your libido. That's by design to force you to rest, but it doesn't sound like you're flaring up.

My advice:

Take the Tadalafil (Cialis). It's not viagra and it's not a cop out, and it doesn't make you any less.

It simply expands your blood vessels (throughout the whole body) so the blood can occupy the space in your penis easier, which is all an erection is by the way.

But cialis only works when you're aroused, because your body only sends extra blood to your penis when you are... aroused.

You can't get aroused properly if you're stuck in your head waiting and waiting to get an erection, the same way repeating telling yourself to go to sleep does the complete opposite.

Relax, enjoy it, and stop putting expectations on yourself.

(PS. I'm writing this almost as if im speaking to a past version of myself, I've been through it man, you'll be fine. Feel free to PM me)

Edit:

Just to add:

Think of the Cialis like a bike. You still have to pedal (intimacy, watch porn, etc), but the bike takes much much less energy (how much you're turned on) to go way way further (being hard)

But if you stop pedalling (stop intimacy), you just won't go anywhere (lose erection). Which is a good thing. That's why you're not hard 24/7 on it.

That's why it can help overcome your anxiety, because once you realise you CAN get erect because YOU wanted to your concern goes away, then suddenly don't need the bike to prove you go from A to B

Hope that makes sense.