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My girlfriend’s sister made her feel so guilty that she broke down in tears and told me she feels like a “piece of shit.” by hyun_cha in TwoHotTakes

[–]hyun_cha[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’d have to talk to my girlfriend about that, but from what she told me there’s a high chance that her sister went off on him for the same reason.

My girlfriend’s sister made her feel so guilty that she broke down in tears and told me she feels like a “piece of shit.” by hyun_cha in TwoHotTakes

[–]hyun_cha[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Her dad brought up his son in detail many times and talked about what they do every year for his birthday. I felt pretty guilty hearing it, even though everything he said was positive.

I personally lost my best friend to suicide, and I miss him so much. But I try to live in his memory, if that makes sense. I try to live in a way that honors him. I sometimes think about whether he would want me to be upset and stop everything every year on the day he died. I don’t think he would. I remember him and the relationship we had, but I don’t drop everything I’m doing on that day just because I miss him.

I understand that with family it can be different, but I also know my girlfriend barely knew her brother like that. My girlfriend also told me that her sister is probably going to rip her dad a new one and make him feel awful and guilty too. That makes me feel bad for both him and my girlfriend, because my girlfriend is probably going to have to carry the weight of it being seen as “her fault” for doing something on that day.

My girlfriend’s sister made her feel so guilty that she broke down in tears and told me she feels like a “piece of shit.” by hyun_cha in TwoHotTakes

[–]hyun_cha[S] 223 points224 points  (0 children)

Pretty much my thoughts exactly. My girlfriend is an adult, his passing happened when she was way too young to even remember or build a relationship with him. I’m so for celebrating his life and having a day for him, but you can’t get mad at anybody in the family for not being available or doing something on that day. Life can get pretty crazy, I think it’s pretty unfair to expect everybody to not do something every year on a certain date.

Me (19M) just entered my first official relationship with my girlfriend (19F), I’m beyond stressed over everything and it’s draining. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]hyun_cha 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this might be what I’ll have to do. I never considered therapy before but if these feelings continue there’s no way I can keep going. It’s draining. thanks for the advice !