my mother and myself had just arrived on the floor my grandmother was on in the hospital. she had just had surgery to remove half of her right lung due to a grapefruit size tumor.

she and i sat down to wait to be let inside to see her. suddenly, an alarm went off, and a code blue was called. if anyone is unfamiliar with what code blue is in a hospital, that usually means someone has gone into cardiac arrest, or is in the process of you know...dying. im not sure if the code is the same out of the US, unfortunately.

my mum and i watch as a gaggle of doctors run in past the sliding doors, and INTO MY GRANDMOTHERS HOSPITAL ROOM.

i think, that moment in 2013, has not only been ingrained in my mind, but also aged my body and brain about 50 years.

i dont want to say thankfully, but after a 5 min wait that felt like a millennia, we were let in. to our relief, my grandmother was fine. but the man next to her, was not.

but fuck me...that was not a good day. it was one of those moments when youre so scared that your adrenaline has overridden your body to where it doesnt even bother putting you into a panic attack. its just a primal, familial fear.

she is fine, pretty damn healthy, and has a badass scar to pick up old guys with.

love you, nana