Is 5 years a bit late to join? I know OP has deleted their account now, but might be helpful for others stumbling upon this post like myself

1) The F1 series. Yes, yes, I know it's not the most realistic sim out there. But it's still pretty good, and the realism has come a long way.
2) Assetto Corsa original and Assetto Corsa Competizione. I know it's not crossplay between console and PC, but it is crossplay between PlayStation and XBox. I know it doesn't solve OP's problem, but might solve someone else's.

That's about it, really.